Oceans Blue

Belligerent-red
Truth-black

Wake up,
To The sand between my toes
"Where am I?", only god knows
The oceans waves crash against the rocks
The seaguls above, listening to me talk
A site so beautiful, angels would adore it
I want to leave but I stop and forfeit
I lay back down, listen to the ocean sounds
Enjoying the view from here and all around
Watching the dolphins jump and play
Knowing that its a perfect day; today
I walk up and down the long beach coast
Listening to the wind as it highers and blows
This is where my grandfather wants his ashes
A perfect place, so I'm not mad at this
And grandfather, I always think of you
And your love for the Oceans Blue..



Standing on the edge of this cliff
I think of us lying by the water as time drifts
For a minute my spirits lift I suppose that memories gift
But then I wake from my dreams
Of us by the shore sharing our favorite ice cream
Then the scream--fills my ears brings hot tears
I look down at the blurry pier
My face wet as if I swam - I shouldn't have let you ran
Here to where you took your last leap
I’ve had it I let the Air under my feet
Jumping off for a love so true
My dearest Sarah I’m coming for you
Together forever my love trapped in the Oceans Blue

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=323034
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=322683

Upps.

mad upps

I Enjoyed This Piece I Felt As If The Writings As A Whole Left A Little Emtion To Be Desired But I Think The Descriptiveness Of The Word Choice And Flow Was Creative And Made This Stand Out A Little, I Think Truth Ripped The Flow Apart, I Throughly Enjoyed The First 4 Lines As I Felt They Summed All Of The Essence Of This Piece In A Shirt Time, However With Out Keeping That Pace I Think It Hurt The End Of Your Drop A Little, But Still Good Writes From Both...

Thx.

Upping.

Overall this was a good piece and nice read....nothing spectacular about it though. Both had a nice grasp on the topic and flow...but the word choice was good and easy to understand by not trying to overdue it with big words...seems more natural....the emotion was good but the only thing I would say was bad was the length of the piece....but like I said overall it was a good job for a collab...Keep it ^ @ both...and plz RTF...

The length?

Yeah the length...for the topic and simple content used I felt that It could've been a lil bit longer than that on both parts...that's all...not saying it in any way to offend you...but to play off all the imagery and add extra emotion....

Ok.

ups

. I enjoyed this piece at some parts. But the topic was really common, but it was still a decent drop. it was short, but i followed through the structure and found some deep emotional content for both you guys. Both you, had an sometimes off and on flow going. Also the sturcture for you guys were decent. keep writing that science

peep the sig....

all rise

this piece wasnt AHH SHIT style but was a nice read and a enjoyable talent previewed and reviewed ya know this was nice piece of collab full og allright content and the rhyme scheme was okish y aknow i felt both should have used a better pattern and shit but yea...its up to you but yea bell came sorta lame in areas like blandish around places it should hav epicked up but who's to complain?....ya know and truth it fells you fell off here and there and your getting rust understood but still you dropped iight

nice collab

hit this up
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=323948

Bleh, I liked my verse.
Rise.