Insulted by yesterday, Confused by tomorrow

‘I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name’

I’m not your normal human, I’ll drop a bomb like Truman
People don’t understand me, can’t see what I’m doing
It’s revenge, I’m on a holy war, to control these whores
And beat them, until the blood leaks out of their pores
Throw them to the floor, and fulfil my righteous deed
Laugh while they plead and cry, while I plant my seed
I’m not evil, I’m putting these women in their place
Slap their face, make them suck my dick………..
And ask them if they like the taste
I’m wanted all over the country, but fuck the constabulary
This is my job, beneath it all, I am actually kind and caring
women have just two jobs, to multiply, and care for men
But these days they’re too confident, so I’m scaring them
My latest victim was beautiful, her virgin flesh was fresh
I ripped off her school uniform, and fondled her breasts
She tried to struggle, it just made me chuckle
Because I know inside she really liked it, she just wanted trouble

I sat up last night and cried, I didn’t sleep. My life is stained
Now I feel filthy, he tried to convince me that I liked the pain
I can’t report this man, he’ll come after me another time
Life is a cradle of secrets…and this evil man covers mine
My mum thinks I was in a fight, I told her I was fine
She has her own problems, she doesn’t need to be loaded with mine
Crime, is a common occurrence, I should be thankful I’m not deceased
It was all my fault, I tempted the acts of that evil beast
I was always called a whore, though I kept my virginity and pride
But last night was a nightmare, I almost wish I had died
I’m still alive, I’ll deal with this alone, nobody would understand
But never in my life, will I go anywhere near another man

I’m on the prowl again, my appetite has been heightened
After witnessing that young girl, hopeless and frightened
I loved every moment, her cries echo in my ears, as I grin
And tonight, another woman will be cleansed of her sin
Creeping up to her, I hold my breath so she doesn’t hear
Then grab her, revelling in her scream, and the sense of fear
Tonight, unlike last, a girl is tied to the bed, with a knife in her head
Because she bit me in attempt to get free, so she’s dead

Insulted by yesterday, Confused by tomorrow
I am pregnant with his child, what will I do
Not a soul knows, I do not want any sorrow
But be careful, tonight he’s coming for you.

If you're a woman, I'm your darkest dream
I'm hunting you down, just to hear you sream

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...10#post5142710

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post5142717

upping

i liked the topic.. after reading the first stanza i thought you were insane.. but then i noticed how you were speaking through the mind of the girl too, which was pretty cool.. flow was dope, imagery was too.. overall it was dope

when you get a chance drop some feed on my short poem.. the link is in my sig.. stay up

Pretty good piece, it was kind of different than what i normally read, like this part:

I’m not your normal human, I’ll drop a bomb like Truman
People don’t understand me, can’t see what I’m doing
It’s revenge, I’m on a holy war, to control these whores
And beat them, until the blood leaks out of their pores
Throw them to the floor, and fulfil my righteous deed
Laugh while they plead and cry, while I plant my seed
I’m not evil, I’m putting these women in their place
Slap their face, make them suck my dick………..
And ask them if they like the taste

This seemed like you were tryin to freestyle it out on writing, well not really freestyle but like rap it out, that part was funy also

This hol piece had a lot of twist in the writting, and i mean like good twist like the way u wrote it out the wat the storyline was set up. The imagery was pretty good and your vocab was also pretty good, you use a lot of description and set this hol thing up well, i thought this was real creative, keep it up man.

Deep....seriously deep. Great read Witness. I loved the feel of the whole piece as I was reading it. I was intrigued as well as engaged with it. Multi's here were killing it. Gave this piece a great flow. Originality definitely here. Vocabulary was mediocre byut it didn't really have to stand out because of the fuckin storyline. The layout was fucking Dope man. It's like your choice of words had me damn near feeling the girl's pain myself. This piece definitely showed mad emotion. Just loved it man seriously. I will be nominating this and I hope it makes it. Imagery was pretty good. Although not as much needed due to how much emotion came from this. Just a great piece man. I wish I could give it 3 thumbs up. lol. Just keep writing man.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309819
^there you go.

holy fucking shit. psycho bitch. this was some real mondo writing :rolleyes:

anyways lol. it was deep as hell ..that last part was ..wow, very frightening. if you meant to put sick and sadistic into the readers minds, then you've accomplished that goal in possibly more than a couple different ways. the third stanza was the most sadistic to me ..getting stabbed in the head, its like the killers mentality was wiser than his years but he was using the mentality for evil. it's something creepy to think of because of its source ..without REAL occurances like this, you probably couldnt've written something like this, and its hard to grasp that this kind of thing ACTUALLY happens in the real world. the first stanza was more like a rapists thoughts moreso than a killers. then it got worse in a metaphorical sense as you read on. this really held onto me, but not in a way that i liked. i've written things like this, but never this deeply detailed. flow was nice, scheme was original ..the piece was dope ..

i'm in a good mood, so i'm going to nominate it. loved the read, thank you.

don't forget to hit the link ASAP. it's my first decent OM in a couple months.

If you're a woman, I'm your darkest dream
I'm hunting you down, just to hear you sream

That was an excellent way to end it. Overall this piece poured out imagery as if it was nothing, and to me, described how darkishly-creative one person can possibly be, no matter the topic. Great read.

Thanks for the feed

Cry,I'll get to that link when I get home from school

Ok my friend this was a deep read and I liked it.Very intresting too with a differant style involved.It was not your best piece you wrote but this piece didn't need to be exactyly HOF.It was about letting your emotions run free and I feel that you did that.You really captured the readers attention with your great emotion.I know what has been going on in your life and man you are 1 person I don't wanna see leave us and I think by writing this has really got some shit off your shoulder.Your metas were strong and some wording was beautiful.Dope read bro keep it up

-Dyl

thanks, and I left feed on that link.

upping.

Alright, man. This was a pretty interesting, and emotionally deep piece. I liked this a lot. The mode was set, and pretty different style. An alright piece coming from you, but still dope. I didn't like it the best, but it was still nevertheless a good piece that I felt you did a good job on. Good feeling and emotion in this piece, with some strong wording. I did catch some metphors in here, and it was a good piece, yep.

Check out Schizophrantic! knowledge hallogen.

Pretty good...I wouldnt really say emotion was in this...its more of a good story....imagery was decent....but it was at best when you gave your thoughts of how the characters think...your vocabulary could use some work...other than that...you had a good structure...unique topic....everything else was pretty straight on to be quite honest.....the best paragraph was the first one from the victim....that's where most of the emotion stood out...overall pretty good read...

Rating:
7/10

^Word.

Your title caught my attention, but I had no idea you would take it this route. I agree with Fuexion though. . .the emotion and imagery was pretty vague for the story to be about a rapist and the feelings of a raped female. I thought you could've portrayed that a bit more through your diction. Your first stanza did seem like a quick key, but it was the best stanza out there. This man's irrational thinking of the world helps him justify his raping of innocent women. I liked, but the other parts should've showed a lot more emotion. Overall, this was a pretty interesting read my dude. I enjoy your writing.

Thanks for all the feed, it's really appreciated

wow....this was....wow....real deep shit here...this was an amazing read...your emotion was The best i have read in any drop here...deffintly HOF...but yea ....your flow was really good it stood out alot....i didnt see it fall much...a couple of lines we're off thats it...vocab was really good...nice choice and usage of words...put in the right place....the strutre was a bit meh...not that it matters though...the red font was dope i think those we're my fa parts....this had me intrested from the first 4 lines...good shit man keep this upp check my new drop Remember....

thanks. Upiing

aaaaaaaaand up.