On Top Of The World

Most can feel my pain, usually by the way I look
I mean thats why way it goes, when you take the way I took
The brave branded beasts, because they bomb these bundles
and try to find somewhere to bury bodies in the concrete jungle
that's my arts heritage, from there it starts marriages
with ventin on rhymthm, beats, and that starts lyricists
lyricists start narritives, storys of gone parents and
hood tales hardly aware that its told with a genius touch
these cats evolved into a seasoned bunch of emcees that bump
in every car in the ghetto, and even punks had beatin trunks
and it's on, caught fire and wouldnt go out... after all
this was the solution to crime and basketball
fuck that cha'll, everyone a rapper now tryna get rich
and these cats arise for the glammor and glitz
then the real emcees mad, fuck that they actually pissed
that the radio got held hostage, and overran with this shit
we were exposin our struggles, and they thought it was cool
bought it for their sons, and they brought it too school
played it on their walkman, and their friends bought it too
probally shocked, these storys wern't what they thought people do
it even made alot of the news, between o'reily and bush senior
and now rap hates bush junior, and we aint sophmore either
so now it's a war, everyone raps it's got fifty genres
one for bling, one for confusing, one for missing fathers
but they all the dads prolly appear, when you make it on the scene
because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed
it'll have you vommittin, ballin in tears, and ready to stop it sincere
i'm on top of the world, and i can see all that from here

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...56#post4852556
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post4852566

I thought this was dope.

The rhyme scheme overall was just so easily fitted together. Your take on the topic was dope, when i said On Top Of The World as a topic, i dint expect you to use this take on the topic. It was nice, Element of surprise for when you open the thread ;)

Most can feel my pain, usually by the way I look
I mean thats why way it goes, when you take the way I took

^^ I liked that.

and

The brave branded beasts, because they bomb these bundles
and try to find somewhere to bury bodies in the concrete jungle

I thought the way you described the concrete jungles and the burying of bodies was ill.

Definiatly HOF worthy :thumbup:

Quote:

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because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed

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Deep freaking line , truth !

Quote:

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that's my arts heritage, from there it starts marriages
with ventin on rhymthm, beats, and that starts lyricists

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I can relate to these lines here a lot and I mean a lot.



Overall nice verse definitely a nice flow of things
with meaning and depthness. Good content
and you brought out very good points.
a different style for sure which is good. It
works for you.

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Most can feel my pain, usually by the way I look
I mean thats why way it goes, when you take the way I took

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another deep line however I think you meant to use
(The) instead of why, I'm not 100 percent sure.

Quote:

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we were exposin our struggles, and they thought it was cool
bought it for their sons, and they brought it too school

---

another example of bringing out good points
which makes this OM a strong piece.

anyway like I said overall a good drop indeed.

Nice piece my man :thumbup:

Your rhyme scheme was on point, especially in the opening two lines, They attracted my attention from the start. Your choice of vocab helped the piece alot! It was not too complex, nor too simple. Your take on topic was also nice, It was different.

fuck that cha'll, everyone a rapper now tryna get rich
and these cats arise for the glammor and glitz
then the real emcees mad, fuck that they actually pissed

I especially liked those lines there. They summed up the piece nicely.

Good Work :thumbup:

Quote:

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but they all the dads prolly appear, when you make it on the scene
because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed

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very nice man!
i loved this drop u had everything needed for this to be dope
you had some really good multies in there to really help the flow.
which the flow was really good to not off at any point u kept it steady
strutre was ok...kinda weak in some parts but what ever...

Quote:

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and it's on, caught fire and wouldnt go out... after all
this was the solution to crime and basketball

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nice man i really like that
very good topic prolly one of teh best things ive read..
good job keep up could ya hit some of my oms if u have time.

Good,dope drop man alot of quotable lines in here just a huge peicce of excelence With tons of imagery The first bar was great It drew me to this peice imo you didn't force anything at all here just alot of great bars with multies,creativity,complexity,and there was some metaphors in it aswell that reflected well seeing how they were very true good topic and a outstanding concept great drop keep up the nice drops and keep writing I'll look out for more drops and actually leave feedback on them pz.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305090

the first few bars were a little choppy, but you fixed this up nicely and made it flow much better... the topic was not original, but the title for the piece was... the ending bars were pretty much a good closure to the piece long with some other quotables.. i like your style because you don't write deep emotional pieces of death and suicide and start ocmplaining about shit.. this piece was jus the truth and a piece of your mind... YOUR ideas.. not what you see on the news.. and thats why its dope

hit up that link

I'm with Soulstice that this started slow, though a lot of ppl seem to have enjoyed the first verse and the part about the concrete jungle. I think this got better as it went along, both the flow and topic, and it really made a good point that everyone on this site can agree with. I also think the best line was the one where u said rap is dumb when your aspiring but genius when you succeed, that was just plain awesome language... Really a solid drop, I liked it, and I think you'll get a lot of positive feedback since the topic really hits home with everybody here.

Nice job.

Word i hope someone nominates this so i dont gotta write more verses this month ;-) lol

damn nigga... this was needed. I haven't seen anything like this on the net, that brings to light the complete view of the shit from an emcees point of view while incorporating the thought processof the outsiders/rap haters...

the part emphasizing the fact that rap's 'stupid' when you're an aspiring artist then admired once you make it, is beautiful.. nice work.

this should be touched up and made into a song.

this was GREAT!....very well done. nice vocab...nice emotion and real deep in vocab man i liked this very very much!..

we were exposin our struggles, and they thought it was cool
bought it for their sons, and they brought it too school
played it on their walkman, and their friends bought it too
probally shocked, these storys wern't what they thought people do
it even made alot of the news, between o'reily and bush senior
and now rap hates bush junior, and we aint sophmore either
so now it's a war, everyone raps it's got fifty genres
one for bling, one for confusing, one for missing fathers
but they all the dads prolly appear, when you make it on the scene
because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed
it'll have you vommittin, ballin in tears, and ready to stop it sincere
i'm on top of the world, and i can see all that from here
^^
those were nice lines and especially your openr got me so this was sa well rounded and nice overall read and much much need'd.


RTF on picture perfect in my sig.

piece is tight man, nice vocab and the flow held it down
concept is nice and fresh i guess that concrete jungle line
was really nice it was a fluid piece and a good one to get you
back into it....coo

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Originally Posted by Omega.

RTF on picture perfect in my sig.

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done.

This was a nice read bruh...

I enjoyed the concepts here, done better than the hordes of people that attempt this sort of drop. You pulled it of pretty well, nice smooth, rhymes, nothing insane but smooth. I was feeling this, as I just came off a hip-hop culture type drop myself. So this just felt fresh in my head. good work, peep my drop

Original props: a revolution in Hip-hiop... you might like it since it's along the same type of lines. It's burried on the second page here or int he legendz nomination thread..

Ok, nice peice dude, you really pulled this off. I have seen plenty of people try to write a peice like this and fail miserably, but you did very well. I couldn't stop reading this, I really enjoyed it, it had great imagery everything was described amazingly. You had complex vocab but not too complex which I like, your wording was good which helped it flow well, and the storyline was original. I liked the emotion you put into this peice, it really made the peice that much better than most peices I read, I think this is definitey HOF worthy, and I'll be nominating it soon. props dude.

YES! finally someones gonna nominate this shit rotf, thanks my nigga.

Favorite Lines:

Most can feel my pain, usually by the way I look
I mean thats why way it goes, when you take the way I took
The brave branded beasts, because they bomb these bundles
and try to find somewhere to bury bodies in the concrete jungle
that's my arts heritage, from there it starts marriages
with ventin on rhymthm, beats, and that starts lyricists

Feed:

i loved this piece man, loved the read, i like the wording, i was really imaging out the OM, make me think man, nice shit, i reall like the lines i pasted above, those were dope man...good job.

aight, opening bar was worded badly, unless theres a reference or a joke there I'm missing, but yea lol.. it wasnt worded good. aight, you had some cool lines, basically talking about rap and politics and shit these days, basically an overview of whats going on from your position on top of the world. which is cool. and something I have seen done a couple of times, maybe not exactly like this, but yea with the whole looking down and saying whats happening thingy.. still a cool piece here. liked the sophmore line, it was witty, at first I didnt feel the wording on it but then I read it again and liked it. word @ everyones a rapper these days and most of what you said. in your "but they all the dads prolly appear" line, I think you meant then instead of they there. overall this was cool though dude. had me reading and I wasnt bored while reading it, keep dropping. and hit my "A Living Chess Game" with more feed LOL. thanks

No problem, i just am all for a good open mic space and dont like when people deaden it because they consider vet status. thanks for the reply, yours'll get good feedback shortly.

I NEEDED this. Man... I'm tired of the wrist slitting, emphasis on big
words and no flow type shit I'm seeing. This was true hip-hop like
what $pit said. This was like a breath of fresh air to me. An open mic
I didnt have to struggle to get to the 8th line. You were hitting topics
I could relate to. Any real rapper could relate to and I felt the "hip-hop
culture" in this piece. Beautiful man.

Nice stuff here...title reminded me of an old song so i checkd this out...better than i thought it'd be and the flow was slick and smooth an mean. The way you described and metaphored parts was very good and also the whole negativety of the rap reality was good to. The thing about the radios playing ish was good like for some reason it reminded me of 50....don't know why though but yeah....also i liked the line about people thinking that you rappin is a stupid idea hen your an aspirer cause that is Damn true, specially when they like " Go on, freestyle then" and your in the middle of a meal and shit...but then the way that rap is propa for a succeder is true also...All in all a very good piece, with complexity hidden behind the simplicity...I liked it.
.
.
Check this link when you get the minute na mean
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305352

Nicce piece



flow was dopeness deep piece Nice take on title vocab waas above average dope drop keep dropin i'll keep readin

im Speechless....Krappy.

rate: 100/10

i thought your opening bar set it up nice as fuck... props, all i would say is, i prefer it when the rhymes are all blended, like instead of starting a bar with a new rhyme, but hey... thats just my style,

all round though good shit bro

Put me in your sig faggot ^

Vylint. wow. this niggas back? uh oh RB.
waddup nigga. it's been tooo long.

As far as ya peice go. Im impressed. This one hit a dead mark on the feelings on any real rapper trying to make it and get his voice heard. and that Genius line added the icing to the cake. My favorite line out this peice actually. This is a good read. Glad to have you back orphan. Pz

First off, nice read, mate.. some waves were made with this piece so I thought I'd give it a read. Your wording is something I like, more blunt than a lot of other writers on this site. You have the habit of keeping the same style throughout, i.e. way you use your multi's/flow. Reminds me of a certain Nique, which is always good. Message was something that I've read a thousand times but you gave it your own take and to be honest, Iprobably enjoyed this a lot more than other pieces.

"hood tales hardly aware that its told with a genius touch
these cats evolved into a seasoned bunch of emcees that bump
in every car in the ghetto, and even punks had beatin trunks
and it's on, caught fire and wouldnt go out... after all
this was the solution to crime and basketball"

Dope cuz you sound like you meant it..
Pleasure Vy'..
Drop a comment on my latest.

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Originally Posted by Vylint

Put me in your sig faggot ^

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lmfao, no fuck off bitch youre not worthy :)




j/p i thought you were in, *amends*

This was dope. It flowed really well and a really cool concept. The multis were very strong. And the vocab was strong aswell.

"The brave branded beasts, because they bomb these bundles
and try to find somewhere to bury bodies in the concrete jungle"

That was sooo dope

Nice job, Hit up 'Immortal Emcees' in my sig