Is It A Sin To Kill An Insect?

http://i4.tinypic.com/10xeiqa.jpgThe Manhattan Project; a foreshadow…
For more battles.
Nuclear weapons morph contemptible dwarf hassles
Perpetuating the cycle in debt,
You’re paying recitals
Performed by The Great Depression, Stock speculating
A bible's preach stopped escalating,
The rivals reach to ascertain the grip,
Having pain equipped, required.
Religion, Science, and War…
Leaked brains, the sick, the spire
The sequel to the steeple evolving feeble people; Beetles
Mosquitoes flutter by Butterflies
Committing utter cries under sties
Eyelid's tears get stung,
Bumble bees nearly drunk; Feeling buzzed
Crickets steering jumps,
Spears get flung, leers of dung
Spies are Spiders lurking, working to…
Determine patience
The tender speed of Centipedes center greed for…
Exterminations
Ticks are tanks; stick to ranks
Of blood suckers in the smoke screen
Soldiers with their coats green,
Folks scream as throats steam
The universe will mosh and flood,
The planet will toss the humans
The humans will squash the bugs,
But still a gosh is fluent
The craven’s nest contains a raven’s chest scraped…
Under the soul
Ever been in a crowded room where only one person’s
Comfortable?
Me too…
And that was the first time I got to sit on the couch
They all envied, with a nickel in pouch,
My mickle; they slouched
Cockroach sprays to con spawns,
But the truth’s gone wrong
Destroying life,
But sparing property like a neutron bomb
Our bodies travel aboard the Decomposer…
To the soil’s pockets
If you’re religiously false, it means…
The land couldn’t keep its promise
It’s a shame to find worthless junk…
then serve it spunk…
Knowing there’s a scientific iceberg; your worship sunk
But the lifeboats keep the faith,
While the gluttonous teach the hate
We are nothing to them…
But complaints can’t decrease the stakes
Come on, hurry! give me your bloody hand, we can reach the gate.
I cry and drink myself to sleep and wake…
To resurrect
In the morning, where mourning is still in thin depth…
Is it a sin to kill an insect?
http://i4.tinypic.com/10xekid.jpg

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294215
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292948

The vocab was very extensive. Im intelligent myself, yet some lines took a few times of reading. The structure was different, and it had its strong points n' its weak ones. I think the structure fitted the analogies to the insects better than anything.

"To the soil’s pockets
If you’re religiously false, it means…
The land couldn’t keep its promise"

I really felt that line, very deep. The ending could of been better, if U would of finished on a stronger note than this might of been HOF material. Still very good, though, and a great read.

Thanks.

Leave links, folks.

upping, ill edit with feed later.

Amazing piece. From the last one I read, you stepped up immensly. The last piece was extrememly underdeveloped, it seemed like you had no sense of confidence in your words and everything was just very unbelievable. But here you just mastered everything you approached. The vocabulary, clearly was extremely intellectual, the concept followed suit on the same level as the vocab, and you even had a creative flow. Overall, great piece man, I loved it. I'm hoping to see alot more like this from you.

ah I understand what you mean....this piece had a lot of emotion in a original topic that fits into modern situations...the vocab was great...and your style is amazing...I loved this piece...I felt it was really deep...and thanks for the feed on mine...I'ma take your advice...good job man

Thanks to all.

i liked this man, deep peice, pretty weird title tho, but i see where its going.. allthough i didnt really like the whole rhyme sceme to it, but the complexity was nice with it, and the vocab you used was good also. and you chose words nicely.. i've always been fond of the short line peices, easy to read and they seem to flow nice, as yours nice, flowed very smooth.. good peice man very good, allthough i dont think its HOF material..
8.5/10

pz

Here's the shining part of this piece - you spaced your lines in a way that made the reader pause at the correct moments to intertwine your rhyme scheme the way you meant it to be. Flawless execution on that particular part alone. After that, I liked the extensive vocabulary used, but it was always familiar words that linked together to the insects. Very impressive, keep it up.

this was a good read...no...i take that back...this wasn't a good read it...it was great read.

what you have here is one very skilled and extremely ill post. your vocabulary/wording was impressively positioned as too was your rhyme scheme, as it made the transition from line to line seem all but effortless. and as for your overall content....well...what can i say that you don't already know....i mean...it obvious...it was not only a unique and original topic, but it was also a dope one. your metaphores were superb, and your play on words was even better...if i didn't know any better i'd say you listened to a lot of sage francis before writting this piece...lol..but what do i know.

anyways,

favorite lines:

Religion, Science, and War…
Leaked brains, the sick, the spire
The sequel to the steeple evolving feeble people; Beetles
Mosquitoes flutter by Butterflies
Committing utter cries under sties
Eyelid's tears get stung,
Bumble bees nearly drunk; Feeling buzzed
Crickets steering jumps,
Spears get flung, leers of dung
Spies are Spiders lurking, working to…
Determine patience
The tender speed of Centipedes center greed for…
Exterminations
Ticks are tanks; stick to ranks

^wow....you really took advantage of the content...you didn't skip a beat when it came to playing off subject of the topic. seriously, there was a whole heep of ill as wordplay and sick fucking rhyme going on in this portion.

alos:
The universe will mosh and flood,
The planet will toss the humans
The humans will squash the bugs,

^i thought those were some kick ass line. it really kind of sums up the entire point.


again:

It’s a shame to find worthless junk…
then serve it spunk…
Knowing there’s a scientific iceberg; your worship sunk

^yeah that pretty much took the cake write there...pure excellence.


and again:
But complaints can’t decrease the stakes
Come on, hurry! give me your bloody hand, we can reach the gate.

^that it....you killed it

pz

wow this was a very creative piece. i liked ur imagery an distortion of vocab use. nice flow . this was a really nice piece that had a good sense of everything. i liked the picture additions also. nice n creative. most of it was really good on flow an rhymed welll. very different an good to read.the way ur lines were on point were good . nice the way u had every thing put together . alot of thought u can c was put into this piece. with good sense of everything a om need's . most people dont really have a topic like this which was interestin. nice title dat was put on this also. overall good piece an very creative.

my first om in sig,wud b really be apreciated if u left feed.

upping again

Good piece here lad.

First off your vocab was very extensive as already stated, at times i thought it was to complex, but it depends at what audience you was aiming at i guess.

I like the rhyme scheme although i found it difficult to follow at times but it more or less flowed well throughout your verse. I liked the fact that it wasnt drawn out too much, and i think the length was just about right, anything more might of ruined it, imo.

Its not really my type of read and i did find it very extensive in all concepts. You brought the piece together really well, but i wasnt fully feeling it in all honesty.

Keep it up though.

Quote:

---

It’s a shame to find worthless junk…
then serve it spunk…
Knowing there’s a scientific iceberg; your worship sunk
But the lifeboats keep the faith,
While the gluttonous teach the hate
We are nothing to them…
But complaints can’t decrease the stakes
Come on, hurry! give me your bloody hand, we can reach the gate.
I cry and drink myself to sleep and wake…

---

I liked your rhyme scheme, the way it went smoothly from line to line, no glitches. The topic probably the most original/different topic I've seen in from you. You tried a different style, and thats good because it shows diversity and advancement in the art. Your concepts and mentioning of The Great Depression was very unpredictable, but also very needed. Storyline was so unique, I would've never thought you'd drop like this in a while. I'm debating whether I should nominate this for HoF or not. Hmm . .

Wow... Last line was great. I mean the concept was great and you executed it flawlessly . The piece had great imagery and I think the last line really substantiated the emotion and the atmosphere of this piece. Something like a silent storm. overall this is a great piece and I think your structure really worked and it had a great rhythm.

RTF please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294824

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Passive

I liked your rhyme scheme, the way it went smoothly from line to line, no glitches. The topic probably the most original/different topic I've seen in from you. You tried a different style, and thats good because it shows diversity and advancement in the art. Your concepts and mentioning of The Great Depression was very unpredictable, but also very needed. Storyline was so unique, I would've never thought you'd drop like this in a while. I'm debating whether I should nominate this for HoF or not. Hmm . .

---

omg please!


thanks people for the feeds.

Uppin.

Cockroach sprays to con spawns,
But the truth’s gone wrong
Destroying life,
But sparing property like a neutron bomb

That shit was realy nice...
So was the pic you wrote off of...it's no secret...I have a tattoo of a mushroom cloud on my left shoulder...love nukes.

So naturally, this is pretty good in my eyes.

But not just cuz of the concept...the unique format and great comparisons of insect to man...to war-time man...are really cool also.

And this was nice multi's at work...

The tender speed of Centipedes center greed

Very unique rhymes...great combo'ing of words...especially to play off a hard word like "centipede"...no biggie, just thought that was cool...took creativity.

So was this...

Ever been in a crowded room where only one person’s
Comfortable?
Me too…

I can relate.

Anyway...this was a really good piece.

Kudos!

(Off to nominate for HoF)

Peace

It’s a shame to find worthless junk…
then serve it spunk…
Knowing there’s a scientific iceberg; your worship sunk
But the lifeboats keep the faith,
While the gluttonous teach the hate

damn, deep shit indeed, this line was felt.... I've been there mentally a long-time ago.... much props on this shyt. you have a poetic-type flow that gives a more deeper mood to your pieces

Very appreciated, thanks ya'll.

this was very well written,I really enjoyed reading it...you had a really interesting story here,and I absolutely love your concepts they are so fucking dope.Your structure was also very good,the multes were placed very well.I really liked this peice and I see that BTK has nominated it and I will second it,but you're basically already in since BTK nominated you lol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Witness.

this was very well written,I really enjoyed reading it...you had a really interesting story here,and I absolutely love your concepts they are so fucking dope.Your structure was also very good,the multes were placed very well.I really liked this peice and I see that BTK has nominated it and I will second it,but you're basically already in since BTK nominated you lol

---

yeah true lol. I still like getting feed-back so thanks.

I really felt this peice had potential as a HOF entry. The structre was great and the flow was wonderful. I loved the story and the wordplay. Out of all this is a 9 1/2 out of 10 piece.

Keep it up and hit up my OM.

very different, refreshing. I like how your rhyme scheme jumped to a different tempo here and there, made an interesting read. Good use of vocab, well exectuted. Def HOF worthy.

pz

oh yeah hit up the shit in my sig

I liked this a lot. Some of your lines in the beginning I felt were a bit forced and/or rushed, but overall the wording and imagery was profound and I loved the middle and ending as opposed to the beginning. You really picked it up over the course of your piece. This was like historical as well as informal in a sense.

The sequel to the steeple evolving feeble people; Beetles
Mosquitoes flutter by Butterflies
Committing utter cries under sties
Eyelid's tears get stung,
Bumble bees nearly drunk; Feeling buzzed
Crickets steering jumps,
Spears get flung, leers of dung
Spies are Spiders lurking, working to…
Determine patience
The tender speed of Centipedes center greed for…
Exterminations
Ticks are tanks; stick to ranks
Of blood suckers in the smoke screen
Soldiers with their coats green,
Folks scream as throats steam
The universe will mosh and flood,
The planet will toss the humans
The humans will squash the bugs,

^Heh, this was dope, I liked the 3-line style usage in this also. It made the rhyming better. Overall, this was a great peace. Keep writing.