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from tha heart
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...37#post4497037
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...43#post4497043
God speaks to use every day but do we dare listen
sirens muffle tha message corruption impares vision
temptation drives wishes while goals get distorted
on a mission for this dough so quickly goals aborted
then u're mission thwarted.....u left with nothin
and tha only green u got is tha green u puffin
and u back to hustlin tryin ta make a meal
gettin back on tha grind dreamin for a deal
so do u feel me...can u hear me
I'm tryin ta lift tha spirits of tha weak and weary
eyes teary from tha stress of livin a life restless
missin out on tha fun cuz u not on funs guestlist
nested in tha ghetto livin in tha project
keep u're mind right don't lose u're ghetto logic
u can knock it but in tha end
u gonna look back and c tha streets were u're best friend
lessons of survival lessons of death
lessons of hell heavens tha only lesson left
deaf to tha teachins deaf to tha preachins
deaf to appraisal...all I hear is screachin
leachin to tha fact that I need tha lord in my life
leachin to tha fact tha I need to pray at night
Jesus Christ I love u u're my savior
spittin this verse was a new satisfyin flavor
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yo this was good really good flow and consistent with it to great job on that the concept was fine and i could see some more poetic lines in there which is always good vocab was decent i think it was better towards the middle the wordplay was nice good usage so overall good peice keep it up
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rise to tha top
if u leave feed on this and have an open O.M. I will rtf
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flow was good continuesly throughout....good job on that....rhymes were very good and same with the multies you had....topic was intereesting..i liked it...overall this was a nice read..i enjoyed it..keep it up man...peace~
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rhyme scheme was ill...wordplay was ill...i liked tha multis you used...you had some good complexity in it..all in all this was a very ill piece....a little short but you stayed on point through out tha whols piece...keep elevatin adn droppin.~1~
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concepts been seen, but other then the used concepts i liked it, u had good imagery and i liked ur flow and u had exellent wordplay.
good multis with the rhymesheme.....good work
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good wordplay, nice structure, ill flow.....man u did good on this piece homie, keep up the good work
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The beginning and middle were SOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than the end. The vocabulary was mediocre. This could of been a DOPE piece, u just fell off towards the finish, and U got a lil too soft w/ the Jesus is my savor ish. U could of worded it to hit a lot harder. The first half was superb, the end was shit.
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This was a well piece my brutha....it flow well, real smooth. it was well understood, but the structure was kind of basic. but you stucc to the topic, and had a goood rhyme skeme. the vocabulary wasn't that good, but i saw the piece towards the end. good piece fams.....keep writing
peep the OM in my sig....
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yo fam hella hot...nice structure..it rhymed very well...good imagery..i liked the metas and multis....you stayed on topic throgh the whole piece which made it want me to finish it...this was one of the best ive seen in a quick lil minute.. all i can say is keep up tha hot shit homie...you should teach me how to do OMs..lol...
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