The Infantry

The Infantry
By: Dusk2Dawn

Camouflage worn illusively,
War zones examined with scrutiny,
Terrorists engage in mutiny,
So we rape their women abusively,
Rip their vales off ruthlessly,
Anal leaves blood streaming profusely.

Cautiously we take footsteps silently,
Putting infrared on and the safety off quietly,
We attack with guns blazing and surging violently,
Guerilla warfare, assault and onslaught bystanders defiantly,
On rushes are done violently, their never takin lightly or mildly,
Hit the weed to take stress off, then continue to blaze rounds wildly.

Individually were filled with stupidity,
Thinking being soldiers gives us validity,
To torture innocents to a state of tranquility,
While we show no signs of remorse or humility,
We beat women and children with ease and lucidity,
Bush backs us up for infinity for we are The Infantry.
.
.
.
A war over oil, I was picked, I'm not here by my own goodwill
But as long as I'm here, gruesomely or violently my human needs will be fulfilled





http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post4458017
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...05#post4407405

WOW!!!! This piece is off the Hook.....And the Topic is NICE.....I like how you played on the War Situation ....I've read pieces with similar topic's but none contained...the imagery,vocab, or structure that you put in this one....What I really enjoyed about this piece was the use of effective vocab......It seemed like you pulled out a thesarus for this one (not saying that you did)....But overall I'd have to say that this was a very good piece......GOOD SHIT ....KEEP IT UP .....

http://img107.imageshack.us/img107/8...jtsa8384oh.jpg

shit was wack as shit......bitch...........-100 out of 10 good attempt at real rap music......if ya gonna bring it bring it ya know.....juss trying to help you out this was a piece of shit and ole boy above me is dick riding cause he needs some dick back lol fuck u bitches come get it

^^Hahaha, you've been in every thread so far saying everything was Wack. haha


Uppin anyway

Hmm I wonder what he'd say about bounce's work. Anyway buddy was good? Overall I thought the structure was interesting IN a good way Overall rhyme was great. it felt very Armyish because of the repetitive rhyme. I don't know overall the imagery needs to be upped up a bit but i like the detached feel because it lends to the soldiery "armoa" of the piece itself. Good job overall.

RTF if you have a chance
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292214

Bump

this was a decent dop man nice effort and was executed well. nice multies and vocab that waas blended in and tried!. nice work man nice FAM.

im sitll wainting for you to RTF on my OM's

Bump, and I got you affizal!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ~Vertikle~

shit was wack as shit......bitch...........-100 out of 10 good attempt at real rap music......if ya gonna bring it bring it ya know.....juss trying to help you out this was a piece of shit and ole boy above me is dick riding cause he needs some dick back lol fuck u bitches come get it

---

stfu or il murk you for your life^

anyways ;).

This was a very nice peice homie, structure all good and even and nothing stretched at all. Like the topic and how you touched on how the world is, and how you feel about it. This multis were very nice and nice choice of vocab nothing basic or boring. This was very good, keep writing and elevating and dropping.

~1~

Damn, this piece was fuckin beautiful. I loved the word usage and vocab on it. Made the reading very fun. This piece had great insight and made me think. The structure was good and this was very well presented. Great job mah nigga. I'm feelin this. keep it up.

Thank you. Bump

Yo can you leave feed on the OM Gettin Ready For War in mah sig please. appreciate it mah nigga.

Yep.

Bump.

Very good piece, i'm impressed by the effort you have put in to make the structure and form better, there was one or two odd lines here and there but overall it was quite immaculate or is that articualte idk lol.....the vocab was good but could have been better. I saw influences of "The Fickle War" in here which is good cause it means ya been payin attention...Overall a very good piece, carry on steadily improving.

Preciate if you could check out this piece
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292317

Yes I got you, it may take some time though but I'll get you the feed, Thanks for the comments.

Nice Piece Dusk You Already Know I Respect You As A Lyrcist But Homie This Was Short And Crisp And Violently Brought The Point Across...the Only Thing I Think It Lacked(and You Know I Gotta Throw My Two Sense In Cause We Homies) Was Emotion....but Then Again Killers Rarely Show Emotion So Ths Might Have Enhanced It....imagery Was Good.....vokab Was More Than On Point.....truthfully Wanna Say This Is Probably One Of The Best Pieces I Have Read From You....keep It Raw Homie!!!!!!!

this was an ok piece but i cant give you too much feed because of its lenght it was a nice piece evertyhing was on key flow,structure all you need to word on is emotion and lenght i rate this piece 7/Ten

Bump.

bump.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ~Vertikle~

shit was wack as shit......bitch...........-100 out of 10 good attempt at real rap music......if ya gonna bring it bring it ya know.....juss trying to help you out this was a piece of shit and ole boy above me is dick riding cause he needs some dick back lol fuck u bitches come get it

---

Yous a hata and a fag...thats scard to battle a bitch nigga......

okay back to the piece.....

i was definitely feeling this...omigod the way u used the vocab was sick. the imagery was definitely there as well. nice work.

it was alright. not really likeable for me. i know EVERYONE else is giving you props and shit here but it just didn't go right with me. it seemed like at some parts you were just trying to rhyme and the lines you'd write had NOTHING to do with the piece. your wording and shit was awsome, i just hated the way you worded your story. it was kind of short as well, and seemed more along the lines of a Poetry piece than anything. it was good in it's own sort of unique way though, decent read. not my favorite in all honesty. decent in my eyes ..

!Nash

that was good shit dog
im feelin the whole war thing
good verse