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Toy Soldier
Pops on crack with a sufferin past
I dream in black and white, the world color me bad
Other than sad, painful and stress
Life is good with the webs that, tangle with death
Death and blood is desired, in the eyes of liar
Gats fired, in attempts of bringing their enemies to a higher
..Ground, sound rumbling, earth shattering pain
The feelings insane, when lead and metal penetrates the brain
Nothing remains, of the shooters.. the rapers, robbers, and looters
While kids and teens worship me through radio waves and computers
There was nothing I could say to suit her, we were in da club like 50
She tried to hit me and missed me, I broke free, and she kissed me
Found the key, to her heart, we danced the night away
She wanted to stay, I said nay, we had no more time to play
And as we walked to gather our belongings, a feeling hit
I took a sit and argued with myself whether or not to get
..My gun out, I heard a shout and stood up looking for the Source
My mag, both the gun and 'zine, looked at my homie and said of course
He was chillin, feeling on some honeys, making money
Bizzare, was there too mackin' on chicks, actin' funny
Alcoholic level was risin' with each hit, a bit more and i was finished
Bitches beggin' for autographs, their ideas of me diminished
I decided to leave, dry heaves were already coming on
Dawn was coming, I yawned, and learned my girl was gone
I headed outside when that same feeling of fear hit again
It triggered thoughts of sin, I said a little prayer, amen
My nigga came with me, forreal son, the kids a G
Probobly besides Slim and them the only niggas to really miss me
And as I stepped outside, people screamed there they are
Bam* Bam*.. direct shots aimed at both me and Bizzare
The toy soldiers came tumbling down, without a sound
Resulted in the death of me but luckily my nigga just hit the ground
Atleast he was found, we all now know the truth
But that day the shooter got away with murder..
...I guess the world didn't need any Proof
Pops on crack with a sufferin past
I dream in black and white, the world color me bad
Other than sad, painful and stress
Life is good with the webs that, tangle with death
-Proof
R.I.P.
October 2, 1973 – April 11, 2006
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Damn, this was serious.
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R.I.P Proof
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I never thought of someone taking the onlook that night and turning it into this. good work man. this piece is beautiful. The imagery was good as well as the flow and structure. You also had multi's that were there as well. Great work on an overall standard. keep it up man.
Can you leave feed on the OM in my sig. It's called Crying Soul.
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Just to let you know, you need two links man.
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Mah bad. I see you posted the second one.
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aw man. sad :( ..it was a hott way to represent the topic. i've never thought about doing this before, it's a nice way to show people/tell them what happened. your details were limited but it's hard to say what exactly happened with everyones opinions. i liked the beginning and end, those were most illustrated on the goings on around the people. the middle was more of the emotion of proof, it was deep. good job auto, decent read. R.I.P. ...
!Nash - hit "..In Memory" on front page of OM ..or second
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290443
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ok cool thanks for the feed its much appreciated.
ill hit up the links when i have time, but dont worry, if u leave a link ittl get hit up.
rise
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I read alot of OM's and this was one i enjoyed to read, the way you did it around the whole proof thing was unique, and never have i seen someone do it like this.
Favorite Part
And as I stepped outside, people screamed there they are
Bam* Bam*.. direct shots aimed at both me and Bizzare
The toy soldiers came tumbling down, without a sound
Resulted in the death of me but luckily my nigga just hit the ground
Atleast he was found, we all now know the truth
But that day the shooter got away with murder..
...I guess the world didn't need any Proof
^ I thought that was dope, sounded almost professional..really like that last bar, and the metaphore was a nice touch. I also liked teh way you started and ended, nice choice. I think the reason i liked it was because of the emotion of proofs death,a nd how it happened, and how you keep a consistant flow throughout. Good Job.
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Thanks, I hit up all OMs.
Rise
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i liked this......rhymes were good......multies were nice..topic was interesting...fllow was smooth throughout this whole peice...vocab and complexity were definately here..good job on that.....structure was nice and creativity was here..i liked this peice..keep it up.peace~
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it was nice vocab flow was nice imagery was really good a sad story opened up fresh wounds. very nice maybe HoF material i liked it keep writting i see why u got ur in goood crews with drops like these
hit my om Forbiden Desire
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this is ILL.
i enjoy'd the flow and what not, but seriously, i think this would be dope behind a beat. like, the flow was 'rill ILL and i could see me bumpin this for the homie proof. dope 'ish Auto.
'nother thing is, i peeped this and its ironic. like, 2 weeks ago or so, i recorded a dedication track to Proof over the "Toy Soldiers" instrumental. hit me up if ya eva wanna hurr it. pz and keep droppin like this. also, if u have a mic, maybe u could be the other peep i need for that audio. pz.
-untold
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thanks untold, ur feed is much appreciated. but na i dont have a mic but i should be getting one soon so ill holla back. o and pm me the song, sounds ill.
rise
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This shit was dope son!.
nice shit FAM nice shit!. i loved the concept and your vocab multies that just fuckin ripped open and blened very well. i liked your flow it went off good. the delivery was great!.
this was sheer DOPENESS on another level is what it is!.
keep it up homes.
RTF on my OM in my sig
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this is some deep stuff, real good flow was amazing, good story could have been worderd better, really was feeling it and i usualy dont like topicals, amazing flow and good vocab, ill ok forward to ur next piece.
"Nothing remains, of the shooters.. the rapers, robbers, and looters
While kids and teens worship me through radio waves and computers"
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wow....this peice was excellent..topic was interesting and this was pretty sad overall....i was feeling it...vocab and complexity was aight and imagery was very good throughout....rhymes were good and multies were as well....flow was smooth..and overall i felt this peice all the way..real dope..
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cool piece, though a little late for a proof piece... but it was good... nice flow and the rhyme shcheme was pretty tight, though some parts flowed choppilly due to not all the rhyming syllables flowing corectly. Structure was cool, and the wordplay was nice, though ive seen it in text battles in fl, like "if you dope theres no proof like d12s rosters" blah... overall this was good
hit up "Technicolor Angel" the link is in my sig
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yo this shit is ill,dope everything in the book i like how u took it and turned it in this way i dont think anybody thought of doin this but u turned it into art nice flow wordplay i can go on and on wit this ~1~ om is in the sig
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this was filled with emotion and the imagery was dope.
topic was cool. very interesting. flow was smooth and nice.
vocab and complexity was here. rhymes were good....
and overall this was a very good peice..pretty much dope.
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very very ill........R.I.P......tha best emcee of D-12 aside from slim......very emotional piece...wordplay and creativity...imagery and rhyme scheme....vocab...the amount of complexity you used worked terrific...very emotional and raw piece.....much props...and RIP to Proof once again...hell be missed...dope drop..keep droppin tha hottness.~1~
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this was mad good......topic was very interesting and it caught my eye...
this flowed very well...smooth the whole way through...rhymes were good.
imagery and emotion was excellent..i felt it all the way...
overall this was a very tight peice..keep it up...peace~~
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I enjoyed the read, but I couldn't help to notice that some things in it were kind of wrong. Like the Bizarre thing, he wasn't really with him. Nontheless, it was still pretty tight. One thing I didn't like, though, was --
Gats fired, in attempts of bringing their enemies to a higher
..Ground, sound rumbling, earth shattering pain
-- how after higher you continued ground to the second line. It sort of messes up the flow a little in a way.
But overall, pretty nice piece.
