Arm's Length.

I kept you close, closer than most would ever know
We've grown and shown we were harder than stone
Cant be broken..
Bones, out of the garmet's home
Nothing to hide..
Abided by the higher tide, We rode..
To shore above waves so sure we would see no troubles..
Now its seems that when we breathe all we see is bubbles.
Undercover tones are subtle & double in hidden terms
Words are submerged under the rubble..
Forbidden worms..
That dig under the cover of other's who kid..
In turn..
Bridges are burned with no concern for the past
Leaving flash in the pan friends turned to ash..
No laughs..
Or the need to ask whether first or last..
It doesnt matter
Because there's nothing worse than irrelevent chit chatter
Venomous spit splatters...
Then desinigrates to thin air
So worthless is the purpose when your exsitence sits there
And fair, is just an opinion..
So any ass with a hole can speak
Just know, if shit's what your dishing..
Everyone's nose will smell how you reak.
Only the weak judge and hold a grudge..
Cause God loves the meek
Seek and ye shall find a shallow mind won't survive the deep
You reap what you sew..
So i've stiched a suit of armor
So don't bother with you sharp tounge..
I wont let you harm her
Gone are..
The days of friendly phrases and salutaitons
All thats left are the ways in which you've strayed thru hating
Stayed debating.. the start, the end, the wrongs & the rights
When all along .. your reflection didnt belong in the light
Sing your songs of might... And i'll be strong thru silence
A sight for sore eyes, The truth hurts your eyelids
Like ultra violet.. rays.. I'll stay warm with Karmas strength
Once had a tight grip...... but now your at Arm's Length.

Fake friends always bend in the end..
All thats left is for them to brake away.. go ahed.. brake far far away.

Evolve You Know You AllWays Do Your Thing Holmez, Damn This Was A Dope Peice, It Stayed Constant Through Out, Flow Was On Point, Vocab Was Tight,

It doesnt matter
Because there's nothing worse than irrelevent chit chatter
Venomous spit splatters...
...Dunno Why, There Was Better Lines In That Peice Than This But For Some Reason I Was Jus Feeling It Bruv,
.........

that was hot i liked it a lot
good poetry

Appreciated

Come on

nice writting

Wow.. Great feedback ^^

^i know right.

anyway, why is this being slept on?

kids dont get the concept.. they read a few lines, then say "its whack" when really.. they have no idea. or will just tell u its dope cuz of ur post count' LOL. but on my side, i think this was outstanding, i loved it man.. metaphors were definatly the key here.. multies were nice, rhyme scheme u choose made it cool. definatly looking forward to seeing u drop more in the future, we need more kids like you in this forum.. those who dig deep for the concepts, take this peice for example: "Venomous spit splatters...
Then desinigrates to thin air
So worthless is the purpose when your exsitence sits there"

was nice.. liked it alot..

keep it up man.

Thank you for real feeback. Much appreciated.

feedback

dope piece realy. dont see what critical feed i cud give coz its str8 nice. poetic rythym n rap flow combined . imagery was there. rhyming was tite..concept was truth to the bone. easy to follow. emotion was there f'sho........ wasnt the prettiest of verses to look at from a cosmetic point of view. but that doesnt matter an inch coz shit was str8 smooth poetics
keep em poppin dun

1

that shit is dope man i thought it was

Thanks... Appreciated

To shore above waves so sure we would see no troubles..
Now its seems that when we breathe all we see is bubbles.
Undercover tones are subtle & double in hidden terms
Words are submerged under the rubble..
Forbidden worms..

^Liked this part.

Flow was awkward as first until I got used to your structure. This was a pretty good piece although I thought that some of your lines were a bit underdeveloped and/or immature. For example, spit splatter/Everyone's nose will smell how you reak..I didn't quite understand the relevance of those two lines, but besides that I really liked reading this. These lines overshadowed the minor flaws though:

In turn..
Bridges are burned with no concern for the past
Leaving flash in the pan friends turned to ash..
No laughs..
Or the need to ask whether first or last..

^Simple, yet they had meaning. Good shit. Check out my joint in my sig.

Im sure I replied to this at RnR, but anyways - its good to see you're still at it Rich. I liked the concept a lot in this, you tied up kind of... all the 'loose ends' towards the end, nice to see you toying with a couple of diffferent schemes too. It shows you've got a whole other understanding of the technical side to topical verses, as opposed to just writing the verse out. I like that about you, there's very few kids here who've grasped that fully yet. Anyways, like I think I said already at RnR, nice drop. Stick around here more, bi-otch!
Haha,

Peace!

Nique.. The spit splatters line referred to whatever they say doesnt matter anyway.. it evaporates anyway.. so there words dont matter. The other one was saying dont talk shit on anyone and act like you dont cause if you do .. i will know. Thanks for the feedback though.

And cam.. much appreciated man. I am trying to stay active but i dont have the time.

I left feed on yours, if u dont mind.. could u vote ona' slept TOPICAL battle of mine.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290128

thanks, E.

nice shit

Thanks

very nice evolve..i honestly dont know how you do it.. you have probably the nicest flow ive ever seen.. very nice piece, flows very nice, good structure, and nice complexity. good job.. i would love to see more.

I loved this piece man. I hated the last one I saw from you, and that was all that I had read from you so I wasn't to sure what I would think of this one... But I really really liked it. You kind of danced that fine line between poem and rap throughout the piece with deeply poetic content, but a very unique and unpredictable sense of flow. This was something so deeply sophisticated about this piece, yet contextually, the vocab and such wasn't all that over the top, you just put a sertain sense of emotion in this that I've yet to see before. Another thing I really liked is the way you transitioned text battle like wordplay into Om friendly form, resulting in something that sounded truely original. Uuuuuuuum ya, all in all, great piece man.

This was a very good peice that although veering to a poetic side it still kept the basic elemnts needed to create an original and "good" OM. I liked the language and the hidden meanings used throughout the rhymes. Rhythm was excellent i.e. flow was uncontrolable, very good point there. The flow was not only an added asset but also made the piece readable more than once. Overall, this piece fulfils, the criteria in elements such as imagery and overall content. A very good OM and it's good to see that veterans are writing pieces as well.

I would appreciate it if you could leave comments on this OM.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290086

Wow...this was really good...i was feeling it....topic was mad interesting and pretty creative..props for that..anyways...the rhymes were awsome and flow was nice throughout....complexity and vocab were here...good job on that..and overall this was a tight peice..very enjoyable to read...keep it up

The concept was hot, u had an incredible rhymescheme that kept me from being bored so even if i didn't like the content i'd still enjoy it due to the rhyming. It flowed dope and and i can feel the emotion put into it.

here's a link of my piece...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...62#post4431462

I really appreciate all the feedback and i will try to get to everyones pieces when i have time.. IF if have time. Im busy at work.

Evolve;

Good stuff as usual.

I won't say too much about what I liked, as usual, i liked a lot more than I disliked. One thing I didn't like in this piece was how you had a bunch of quick phrases without any detail behind it. It made the storyline less of a storyline and more of a jump from one concept to another. Don't worry about getting to any of my pieces though. I just like reading your stuff.

Thanks feebs. This piece was personal to me & i just wanted to get out emotion.. and the quick phrazes were how it came out. I appreciate your feedback though. Where are your pieces anyway? I dont see much from you.

To shore above waves so sure we would see no troubles..
Now its seems that when we breathe all we see is bubbles.

And fair, is just an opinion..
So any ass with a hole can speak
Just know, if shit's what your dishing..
Everyone's nose will smell how you reak.

You reap what you sew..
So i've stiched a suit of armor
So don't bother with you sharp tounge..
I wont let you harm her

^^^this along with the closing 2 lines were very good in my opinion. i really didn't understand the concept until i got to the very end to tell the truth hence me having to reread and get a better understanding of the message you were putting out. rhyme scheme was very nice, gotta give you that and i really liked your word choice.

could you rtf n leave me some feed on this....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=291669
thanx, would be appreciated

Thanks Troy.. i peeped your shit too

maybe i should put this in poetic scriptures? i just dont see the point though cuz no one ever leaves feed in there lol

LOL.. i feel you

this was a dope peice.I liked the concept a lot in this, you tied up kind of... all the 'loose ends' towards the end, nice to see you toying with a couple of diffferent schemes too. It shows you've got a whole other understanding of the technical side to topical verses..DOPE

Thanks for the feedback Youkay.. appreciated