Mid-Human Disaster.

Mid-human disaster.

…As the hourglass smashes, time clashes with burnt ashes in passion in the mist…
Transforms to dust, dances with the wind kissed, arrival of animosities death grip …
Heaven or hell? Brisk torn-worn emotion as the raw passion for life quickly is born…
In my eyes, torturous cries-in our lives, we strive, struggle, only to meet our demise…
Surprised, that the time of man is trembling in the shadows of pain suffice, we fight?
Only to realise, nuclear power rains on our empty skies… shrivelled empty lives.

Pulsating heartbeat, we creep in bare feet, we weep as we sleep, as eyes do meet…
Blind, refined to hidden contracts of governments they bind, unknown to our minds…
Perilous fate we suddenly find, between destinies, yet we’re out of time, venomous…
Snakes in the grass, that clasp our grasp on reality as their poison revealed a laugh…
Bush seals our death as he scars another path, opens the window of opportunity…
Only to unleash a cold shivering draft, pivoting fast, as humanity arrives at last…
Yet only to cast, a warmonger on the loose to drop bombs in Iraq, it’s a story…
That shall ever be told as alumni glory, in between life and death, but surely…
The perverted sense of senseless violence would choke a smile on every face…
Appal every trace, of our evidently hate race, shimmered yet fallen from grace.

Reacts faster…
Human disaster…
Chokes laughter…
From here ever after…
I bow down to no political master.

Dissolved in a sedative smile, resolved only by mindless optimism as we lay docile…
Afraid to speak, our minds are the key to survive, so allow your brainchild to weep…
The smell corroded dreams, fills the nostrils of every child’s wallowing screams…
Taken from our power, we simultaneously cower, yet our society’s flower, wilts.

…Politics acts as our thorn our splinter, bloodthirsty killers, they born life’s winter…
Documents of love failed to make acquaintance with the printer… I really wish this…
Thing branded as time could back track on it’s actions thus gods wishes to reverse…
Our peoples stitches… I kiss the mist, as the bliss the missed, was cold and brisk…
So we shall pray to God as we realise, it’s a mid-human-life’s crisis.

‘If we don’t fight for love, freedom, power of the people… who shall?’

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288240
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288247
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287905

wow. I am definitely blown away by that one. your talent is amazing. I love it and wouldn't change anything about it. I like your vocabulary usage on it. great multies. overall great work. keep this up. The piece was perfect imo.

Thanks man, i appreciate it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by el poeta

Thanks man, i appreciate it.

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no problem. you deserved it. that peace was beautiful.

Great peice, but I think you should stick to poetry because it overwhelmed me. I dont know what to think, you had a diffrent rhyme scheme. But it was soo good, I'm not used to reading OM's from you, but this looked like poetry. I liked how you had the little stanza in the middle. You had great flow. And Multis were ok. I liked how your structure was, though it was simple. It was short and sweet. I kind of enjoyed reading it. Nice work, keep droping.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jonathon

Great peice, but I think you should stick to poetry because it overwhelmed me. I dont know what to think, you had a diffrent rhyme scheme. But it was soo good, I'm not used to reading OM's from you, but this looked like poetry. I liked how you had the little stanza in the middle. You had great flow. And Multis were ok. I liked how your structure was, though it was simple. It was short and sweet. I kind of enjoyed reading it. Nice work, keep droping.

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Yeah the poetry approach is an aquired taste, thanks man.

Upping for more feed, thanks.

Thoroughly enjoyed this drop. When reading it, it felt poetic...however I do feel this is more of an OM the a PS. The topic you chose to write on is nothing new, how you chose to approach it is very original. I'd say I probably agree with your view on Bush, Iraq etc. and if I ever think of an original way to express that probably will. The images you painted were clear, the words you chose and the metaphors you touched on were very effective. The flow of this piece was very good, helped a lot by the internal rhymes you used.

Will be looking for more of your stuff in future...keep it up.

! thats the kind of drop ive patiently been waiting for.
VERY impressed. i loved it, madd props.
DEEP concept, very original
Vocabulary was impressive
Ill watch for future drops

Peazoz

Thank you people... very much appreciated.

Thank you people... very much appreciated.

upping.

I really liked this it had a nice interesting topic and i had to read it cuz it sounded like sumthin i'd enjoyed and i did....your rhymes were really nice overall and had sum excellent vocab throughout....complexity and imagery was definately shown and that made me enjoy it more....the flow was smooth continuesly through this whole peice and i was feelin that..overall this was a tight peice with a 8.9/10 score...keep it up..peace~

the begining was cool, it rhymed, it flowed, but it was more like rambled introspective to me....


however, from this point on:

Bush seals our death as he scars another path, opens the window of opportunity…
Only to unleash a cold shivering draft, pivoting fast, as humanity arrives at last…
Yet only to cast, a warmonger on the loose to drop bombs in Iraq, it’s a story…
That shall ever be told as alumni glory, in between life and death, but surely…
The perverted sense of senseless violence would choke a smile on every face…
Appal every trace, of our evidently hate race, shimmered yet fallen from grace.

Reacts faster…
Human disaster…
Chokes laughter…
From here ever after…
I bow down to no political master.

Dissolved in a sedative smile, resolved only by mindless optimism as we lay docile…
Afraid to speak, our minds are the key to survive, so allow your brainchild to weep…
The smell corroded dreams, fills the nostrils of every child’s wallowing screams…
Taken from our power, we simultaneously cower, yet our society’s flower, wilts.

…Politics acts as our thorn our splinter, bloodthirsty killers, they born life’s winter…
Documents of love failed to make acquaintance with the printer… I really wish this…
Thing branded as time could back track on it’s actions thus gods wishes to reverse…
Our peoples stitches… I kiss the mist, as the bliss the missed, was cold and brisk…
So we shall pray to God as we realise, it’s a mid-human-life’s crisis.

You were no less than incredible. Seriously, flawless in every sense of the word. Your flow/scheme or whatever it is you want to call it was insane and unquie, your wordplay was amazing, just flat out top notch content through and through. Reading this piece was like watching a suspenseful movie...it had me on the edge of my seat the entire time, it started out kind of slow but it kept building and building and building; getting better with each passing sequence, until your left with a thrill thats like damn - asking yourself what just happen here. Anywho, its obvious i'm a fan of your work....i'll be peeping more of you in the future.....

Wow, This was a great piece really. I don't know what to say really because you have a lot of talent and are better than I am. But I like you're choice of vocab a lot. A lot of people just put big words togetther and people will say good vocab. But you use good vocab and make sense with it. You're flow was on point and and structure was really good. This piece was really well put together and I can tell you put a lot of time into it. Keep dropping my dude. Very well done

Hit this OM up please.....
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...58#post4357458