Melody of Mayhem

Melody of Mayhem

I stare at this globe twisting, falling victim to sacrilege sharks & vile beasts
I’ll repeat styled in simplistic speak: we’re judged by Masonic geeks…
Unblessed by decadent freaks who confess child abusing volatile priests
People enact wild feats if need be to feed thee with proceeds laden greedy
Seedy stairways to Hell sodden knee-deep in junkie needles & faeces
A species duped by disease & plagues that cause fatigue to leagues & nations
So even the patience of Saints & Seraphs shall be broken to fractions
Words stir actions; reactions rouse sections & all types of bedlam do happen
I keep saying: “I’m thru rapping”, pissed-off with yapping in deaf ears”
Sneers of spending time perfecting rhyming arts once inscribed by the peers
Latter-day Solomon’s, knowledge seeking acumen, deepen my vision…
Lest I weaken in grim sin, hail Zion, bestow me the heart of a Lion for living
Babylon’s culture widens, her wrath is a wolf hiding clothed as a lamb
She seduces with whispers, and promises pleasures untold unto man
I felt damned in life’s session… at-least in my own deep interpretations
Wishing my eyes would flow as fountains, releasing these internal tensions
Seems I drift in dimensions sandwiched-between gentle and thick-skinned
Versus the devil - I’ll wrestle till the end…
……………………………………seeking harmony… my lips whistle in the wind

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=286329
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=286323

well i guess i'm not flavour of the month

up

Quote:

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Babylon’s culture widens, her wrath is a wolf hiding clothed as a lamb
She seduces with whispers, and promises pleasures untold unto man
I felt damned in life’s session… at-least in my own deep interpretations
Wishing my eyes would flow as fountains, releasing these internal tensions
Seems I drift in dimensions sandwiched-between gentle and thick-skinned
Versus the devil - I’ll wrestle till the end…
……………………………………seeking harmony… my lips whistle in the wind

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^Wow...now that is impressive. Seriously, are you serious? lol Your flow was grade-A, your rhyme scheme was sick, and your wordplay and contend were both type nasty. I have to tip my hat to you man. Great show!

your word choice was amazingly great...the flow went well with it too....the concept was deep man, this piece impressed me a lot...the content was just WOW speechless, it was a great piece :) i really look forward to readin more of your work in the future :)
keep writin!!

thanx Dms and legendz


an wow chico.. u must be really retarded.. i feel sorry for you u apparently live in an english speaking country and are yet to understand the workings of such a language.. its never too late to learn how to read though...give it a try kid

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ChicaGOrilla

i think your flow needz to stay in harry potter.. no offense, but u lost me after.. "seedy stairwayz to hell"

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That's someone who justs wanna get his posts count up.get the fuck outta here.

Ayo Vor this shit was good ma dog...it's ya old style of each line ending in a diff rhyme and being filled with multis and mets etc. I like the vocab and it was impressive so yeah carry on bringing the shit down, plus ya structure was aight but you let the form go this time

If ya got time chedk this out ma dog, thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=4332021

f'sho

stare at this globe twisting, falling victim to sacrilege sharks & vile beasts
I’ll repeat styled in simplistic speak: we’re judged by Masonic geeks…
Unblessed by decadent freaks who confess child abusing volatile priests
People enact wild feats if need be to feed thee with proceeds laden greedy

Great way to open it

u had really good flow but at times it was off but still pretty good
u had very good wordplay but jus like flow it was off at times
amazing vocab i really liked ur vocab in this piece it wasent off to much
tha structre was good i could read it well but it fell sometimes lol still good
ur topic was really good u stayed on topic for tha whole piece to which musta been hard to do

I felt damned in life’s session… at-least in my own deep interpretations
Wishing my eyes would flow as fountains, releasing these internal tensions
Seems I drift in dimensions sandwiched-between gentle and thick-skinned
Versus the devil - I’ll wrestle till the end…
……………………………………seeking harmony… my lips whistle in the wind

nice way to end it

def angel

i honestly havent got a clue what u mean by my flow and vocab being slightly off
and as for wordplay being off... what exactly do u mean by that???????????????

This was... Eh, I dont know I'm kind of torn. At times I really liked it, but then others it just seemed like the piece was just too much of a strive for intellectual stature. Often it just felt to me like you just wanted to use these "big words" which resulted in questionable usage and just lines were at the end we kind of feel like you don't even know what you're saying, but rather thought in your head that it sounded good, so you threw it in. I dont know, that may not be the case but it just came off that way to me. Uuuum, the overall content and message of the piece was nice though, fairly original topic, not really something you see too often. The emotion just wasnt really there for me, again because it felt to me like you were just saying things to say then, without really meaning or feeling them. Also, maybe throw on another verse to thing... Its kind of quick. Not bad though... Keep writing man.

I'd apreciate it if you could leave feedback on my new Om:
"When the Elephant Walks..."
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287748

nah basicaly it was inspired by reading the likes of the bible and some other so-called lost bible books...plus i was just trynna develope on mettas ... u kno... as for emotion.. i just cant express any most of the time.. in writing or w/e... apart from say anger which is always easy to hit on......

f'sho

Ya... Venture off into the Poetry section, that's where I learned metas and how to write emotion. Topicals really aren't as focused on those, when you first start it's all just about story and shit. Just about every topical heads goes through their poetry phase though, and after that is when you come out with a whole group of new styles and techniques.

Honestly, the beggining of this reminded me of early Wu Tang. The imagery & the way it seemed like you didnt have a complete thought but it still somehow went with the piece. Then you picked it up towards the end & wrapped everything up nicely. Well done.

yeah for real Evolve.. i just notice the Wu influence as u mentioned. yeah i used to rinse early Wu for tru. nust of came back to me subconciously.

safe 4 da lookout

i liked this... you had streached out structuree... but you pulled it off with good flow... alot like i do in a lot of my writtens... mine work here i could feel the atmosphere you wehre reaching out for here... i thought you molded some of the senttecnces into some nice imagery... all in all it was a nice thought that pulled all toghether with a little bit of clarity... nice work...

check out my latest.

safe

I dont know what some people mean when saying the flow was off. I was reading that aloud to myself and didnt have any issues. I wouldnt call what you were doing in this multi's a lot of the time, but nice use of internal rhymes. Topic original, and the vocab you used didnt come off forced to me like others have stated.

Nice read, keep it up.

topic was pretty interesting.......ya flow was mad smooth..props
vocab and complexity was here and that was excellent....
imagery was nice overall......rhymes were really good same with multies
overall this was a good read, i liked it..keep it up..peace

thanx yo...



1

I liked it......cool multis and effortless flow...

I liked your complexity and everything just came together nice to form an exceptional piece..Soryy for the short feed but I'm the 20th replier so everyone beat me to it........

^safe bro . yeah i just read and replied to 1 of ur pieces...

bumps

Keep doing what u do, good piece and a good rhyme scheme.
check out my piece.

yeah!