I Think About It

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February 16th, 2006, 03:29 PM
past.elevation

I Think About It

{Intro}
i got some shit i gotta get off my chest
so ima let it all out
check it

{Verse-1}
I got some shit on my chest that causes so musch stress
honestly i dont know why i think about it, i get in a mess
i have opinions but know one ever cares to listen
i can be a ass hole but only if im put in that position
my ambitions rise higher and higher as i let this pain go
i had a dream once about my death im gonna die slow
i often have conversations with myself, im goin insaine
i have so much to learn, knowledge is what i hope to gain
if i could take back my past i would do it in a nano second
lifes been nothin but painfull and i get drunk & high, so reckless
i cant pin point it exactly as i would like too i just wanna be alone
i cant stand it anymore i just wanna smash my cell phone
i get relentless call all day, i constantly arguee with myself
god shine your light on me please, because i think i need your help

{Hook}
i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace

{Verse-2}
the way i see things, is the way i want em to be
i cant see why perfectly but i keep on argueing
theres no point to life, im just here to live and then die
im not gonna lie at night i still up in my bed just waiting to cry
no tears ever fall from my fearless face, tearless cheeck
my futur is so bleak, i dont want you to call me unique
i wanna be know as a leader, never followin my destination
i say things with out hesitation, fuck waitin, im tired of conteplation
why should i sit back and live life how you want me to live
by the age of 22 i'll end up havin at least 2 more kids
that would make 3, im not the perfect father but atleast im there
im in my kids life so call me a unfit dad cuz i dont even care
im not gonna stand for this bull shit much longer
how come right cant be more right but wrong gets wronger

{Hook}
i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace
_____________________________
im workin on the rest i just wanna know what i can fix and work on with it feedback is appreicated greatly.
_____________________________
MY TWO LINKS
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...0&page=1&pp=15
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02#post3977702
February 16th, 2006, 05:15 PM
DaMicSnatcher

hey i liked it a lot..... 6/10 you have potential to do better though i can tell, so if you practice, you'd be 10/10....i like ur concept too

check out my open mic sometime
February 16th, 2006, 05:22 PM
lady_Desiree

the flow was aight you couldve did better with this if you wouldve came with more verses to it and made it into a song maybe but as far as your creativity i think you put that together wella nd you dropped some good rhymes through out as well
February 16th, 2006, 07:22 PM
Jon

Diffrent, not really feeling it. It seems that every OM you write looks like the lyrics to a song. The flow was alright, structure was meh, and wordplay was terrid. This was an ok drop, not the best, less then what I expected. You would get a 6/10 for this.

Keep dropin.
Check my newest verse (Prolly droped in 1-2 hours)
February 16th, 2006, 09:20 PM
past.elevation

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonathon

Diffrent, not really feeling it. It seems that every OM you write looks like the lyrics to a song. The flow was alright, structure was meh, and wordplay was terrid. This was an ok drop, not the best, less then what I expected. You would get a 6/10 for this.

Keep dropin.
Check my newest verse (Prolly droped in 1-2 hours)

ummm ive only dropped 1 om on this name and its because i plan on recording them soon
February 16th, 2006, 10:29 PM
past.elevation

ok i added my second verse now what do ya'll think of it
February 16th, 2006, 10:37 PM
Doogal187

i love the way you wrote the song
props to the verses both really good
props to the hook

i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace

great peice of wording

keep it up
February 16th, 2006, 10:44 PM
past.elevation

thanx for the feed but it was still shitty feed the longest part of it was my hook that you copied and pasted
February 16th, 2006, 10:47 PM
-IsIs-

i liked it to. flow was tight. the structure was clean in my opinion. the imagery wasnt really apparent in conjunction with description. but wordplay and multies upped this for me. overall a 6/10. you have some nice potential that is just waiting to be harnesed. keep droppin homie you will be pretty dope. can you drop an honest vote in my battle in my sig its gettin slept on.
February 16th, 2006, 10:56 PM
Ryan

yo this was a pretty strate peice but a lil elevation wouldnt hurt...

7.5/10
February 16th, 2006, 11:12 PM
***Lady_Latin***

i think that dis was a tyt drop...overall i like ur structure (even tho it def looks like a song) but if u's recordin it soon then dat xplains it all--
ur word choice kept it simple but i think dat more xtensive vocab probably woulda killed da piece...
my favorite lines were def ur hook...

{Hook}
i constanly think about it, i make indecisive decisions
i think about whats gonna happen why do i have these visions
i cant see nothing, not even my hand infront of my face
its cold, and dark i just need something to embrace

overall, nice drop--def elevate on ur imagery, i think dat would help make ur pieces better.
if u used some internal rhymin stead of mainly da ends dat would def elevate ur writin...
But other than dat, keep dis up & i look 4ward 2 readin more from u. ~1~
-LL
February 17th, 2006, 01:38 AM
past.elevation

thanx for the feed, lets get some more
February 17th, 2006, 10:40 AM
past.elevation

uppin for more feed
February 17th, 2006, 11:22 PM
past.elevation

uppin for feed
February 18th, 2006, 12:50 PM
past.elevation

Uppin For Feed Come On Ppl Dont Sleep On This
February 18th, 2006, 12:59 PM
big j da fat boy

yo i liked this peice. it had good flow an emotion in it. it was different i guess thats why it caught my eye. just keep at cause from what i read you got potential to do better. an i wouldn't mind readin more from you. so can you return the favor on my om in the air.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=273409
February 18th, 2006, 01:53 PM
past.elevation

thanx for the feed
February 18th, 2006, 03:53 PM
ReKey

{Verse-1}
I got some shit on my chest that causes so musch stress
honestly i dont know why i think about it, i get in a mess
i have opinions but know one ever cares to listen
i can be a ass hole but only if im put in that position
my ambitions rise higher and higher as i let this pain go
i had a dream once about my death im gonna die slow
i often have conversations with myself, im goin insaine
i have so much to learn, knowledge is what i hope to gain
if i could take back my past i would do it in a nano second
lifes been nothin but painfull and i get drunk & high, so reckless
i cant pin point it exactly as i would like too i just wanna be alone
i cant stand it anymore i just wanna smash my cell phone
i get relentless call all day, i constantly arguee with myself
god shine your light on me please, because i think i need your help

DONT USE UP ALL YOUR TIGHT SHIT

TIGHT
February 18th, 2006, 04:34 PM
past.elevation

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReKey

{Verse-1}
I got some shit on my chest that causes so musch stress
honestly i dont know why i think about it, i get in a mess
i have opinions but know one ever cares to listen
i can be a ass hole but only if im put in that position
my ambitions rise higher and higher as i let this pain go
i had a dream once about my death im gonna die slow
i often have conversations with myself, im goin insaine
i have so much to learn, knowledge is what i hope to gain
if i could take back my past i would do it in a nano second
lifes been nothin but painfull and i get drunk & high, so reckless
i cant pin point it exactly as i would like too i just wanna be alone
i cant stand it anymore i just wanna smash my cell phone
i get relentless call all day, i constantly arguee with myself
god shine your light on me please, because i think i need your help

DONT USE UP ALL YOUR TIGHT SHIT

TIGHT

what the fuck that aint feed thats just copying and pasting then typing some bull shit about dont use up all your tight shit
February 20th, 2006, 10:32 PM
past.elevation

uppin for feed
February 21st, 2006, 11:33 AM
past.elevation

uppin for some more feed
February 21st, 2006, 01:04 PM
Superintel

flow was ok you could of used more meta4's and stuff to make it more intersting to read but overall i think it was preety wack. elevate and use your creativity and bigger vocab next time. That will help up the feed
February 21st, 2006, 02:03 PM
past.elevation

i used a wide range vocabulary so what are you goin through and your the only person who said it was wack so wtf
February 21st, 2006, 05:09 PM
past.elevation

uppin for more feed
February 22nd, 2006, 02:29 PM
past.elevation

uppin for more feedback
February 22nd, 2006, 02:33 PM
Sy-Clops

i liked this ......8 outta 10 from me
February 24th, 2006, 02:28 PM
past.elevation

uppin for more feedback on my peice drop a link and ill leave feed on yours
February 24th, 2006, 03:17 PM
revolutionist1

i lked tha flow + tha structure, nd could feel tha emotion. it was simple but stll wrkd out. lked ur wrk man keep it up nd keep it cmin.
February 25th, 2006, 09:40 PM
past.elevation

thanx for feedback uppin for more
February 26th, 2006, 01:23 AM
ace baby

this was tight niggah it braought alot to the table.. the vocab was tight the flow was tight.. well to me anyway even though im a newbie and not that hott yet i still know talent when i see it keep doin yo thing.
February 26th, 2006, 09:54 PM
past.elevation

thanx for the feedback uppin for more
February 28th, 2006, 02:56 PM
LyricallyInclined

uppin for more feedback come on ppl dont sleep on this shit