The mistake I regret...(short rhyme)

[Born To Kill]

I sit here alone, and remember an empty Valentine’s Day...
That was only just yesterday...
................But the wounds run deep and already weigh.
Heavy on my head, like lead that’s poisoning my mind...
And has me by a thread...
.....................Dangling closer to disaster every time.
Had my ears filled...and listened...how fuckin stupid is that?
Not as stupid as believing...and then adding fuel to just a spat.
Watched her expression change...watched love leave her face...
As my aggression turned deranged and I rejected her embrace.
Told her I knew...when there was really nothing I'd learned...
Then I told her we’re through...and watched that bridge burn.

Turn back the clock and let me have my mistakes back...
So I can unlock what’s true and toss all the fake facts.
Listened to rumors and innuendo, got played like Nintendo...
When jealousy grew like a tumor and I let my best friend go.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=271456

[Doogal187]

I love the emotion behind it

this is a fucking brilliant peice man

probs to you and keep bringing this shit
and ill keep reading it

love ya style

[<Supreme>]

real life shit
gd drop
rhymin - gd, but slightly simple
flow was gd throughout
structure was ok

cuda dun with bein a bit longer with stronger imagery
but keep droppin

can u make a quick comment on 'My Vision' plz, the links in my sig

[Born To Kill]

Thanks, cats...

Wasn't trying to break any complexity records on this one...

Just popped a topic that popped into my head.

Obviously this didn't happen to me...at least it didn't happen recently.

Peace

[Spekz]

well first of all it was obviously just a qucik drop, which isnt ever a bad thing, sometimes u just gotta write....well in this piece u had a good flow, wordplay was pretty good...vocab was decent, ok emotion, imagery wasnt all there....for a short and sweet drop i could relate to ur message so made me enjoy it a lil more...overall short drop had some good things and its moments were u could tell it was a quick drop...

Listened to rumors and innuendo, got played like Nintendo...
When jealousy grew like a tumor and I let my best friend go.
^^liked this cuz i could relate


Told her I knew...when there was really nothing I'd learned...
Then I told her we’re through...and watched that bridge burn.
^^like this cuz of a the meta

overall good drop

........Hey could u drop some feedback on my OM Barbaric Brilliance (link in sig)....um its a piece i put some time in, ive been told its my best one, and somebody already nominated it..........so some experienced fb would be nice

[past.elevation]

honestly i liked it, it had lots of emotion put into it but there was some points i didnt like about it too, im not gonna be like everyone else and just say i liked it im gonna tell you what some good and bad points about it was and the things that i didnt like about it was the fact it was so short and the structer to me was a lil off and it didnt rhyme to its full potental but over all it was a pretty good read keep up the good work