You are God.

You are God

Can we please have a moment of silence for lives lost to religion
…..
….
…
..
.
Irish green was wasted, replaced with dusty colors forming an awning
The place were dew couldn’t settle and birds to scared to sing in the morning
Warming pollution coated and was found devoted to the air
If the majority isn’t making an effort the minority’s facing despair
The local square was captured, enraptured by the Irish terror
Found home ground to warfare for the catholic, protestant error
The weather turned for the worse, a curse fell upon the estate
Weather is a trend setter..
..For worse or better gifted the Catholic’s feelings of hate
Irate emotions and religious devotions, eased the Catholics mission
Ambition to represent tradition..
..Had them taking more blood than Crips within prison
The Protestants position was situated directly opposite their spot
As the plot grew thicker, so did the cloud cushioning the chimney pot
The tension got intense due to suspense but they remained calm
Thunder witnessed the men kneel and rest their heads within their palms

“Let us pray”

“Oh mighty lord above us, love us and offer support next to me
Only sacrificing life’s to endeavor, ever so closer to your ecstasy
Guide us to the light, as we fight for you in order to learn
Each cup of blood captured feeds you energy for your return
Our concern for your world is curled up within our aggression
An obsession for happiness..
..Can often result in deep depression
But our confessions enable us a stable footing that’s exposed
And when we kill the none believes we pray your gates are closed
You are my God”.

“Let’s do it”

The Catholic’s started to panic, manic of making this worthwhile
While one cocked his weapon the other one grimed with a smile
Versatile with passion, crisp and light on their feet as they traveled
Present with each step past their destiny, as their future unraveled
And as they gathered outside the destination, grenades by their side
Detonation was thrown, as a drop of sweat followed the ammunition inside
The target had subsided the building, and had fled from within
And left a lost mother grasping in her withered arms his offspring.

“Children let us pray”

“Lord I am not scared, I was prepared for the damage life courses
Within a breath of fresh air, it’s only natural to take pauses
And if you sacrifice my life, tonight I no its heaven I’m seeing
Cause I sacrificed my life to raise you two healthy beings
And I no it sounds odd, but if it’s me give me the nod
As there is no better time to see you, you are my God.”

R.I.P to all the families lost to religion.



#1.

#2.

Irish green was wasted, replaced with dusty colors forming an awning
The place were dew couldn’t settle and birds to scared to sing in the morning

perfect openor.

this was probably one of the best ive seen from you K, and i mean it.
your flow was very nice, and your vocab was insane. Your emotion was incredible as well, there is really nothing for me to critique because i cant get nearly as dope as you.

But man, this is a very, very nice piece.

hopefully legends:thumbup:

thanks man yeah i felt this was one of my best

blah legends hates me...but thats not why i do it.

Really good piece. I loved the opener, the rhyming and emotion there was excellent.
Although, it got better after the first paragraph, and i really felt those parts. Legends material..maybe, an om of the month..definatly. The ending..kinda left me there though, I think with a more solid ending, it would improve this piece.

Chek out thr clone in my sig.
Pz

thanks i will get to your tonight

yo that shit was the nices ive redd on here

Oh, this was nice...and the opener is what really grabbed my attention. I loved the emotion in it, with the minorities, I could really feel their pain...especially when that mother was praying...really deep. The feeling was there throughout the whole verse, because this was a real emotional piece, if U, or someone U loved was involved in this it would be extremely sad. The imagery was also terrific, throughout almost the entire piece I could picture the setting the the actions perfectly...which made the emotion that much better. U, Kost, Makeshyft, and the Pancakez drop the most interesting open mics. Everytime I am drawn to reading them and giving feedback. And once again, I cant find hardly anything that needs improvement, besides the flow was off maybe one or twice in certain areas because of the very large vocabulary, and I think one line was stretched.

Perfect piece...very enjoyable

10/10

Hit up one of the battles of open mics in my sig...and keep a look out for my next open mic, because I have a great original idea...

Wow.. dis was beautiful man, ya imagery in this was [never sed dis] perfect. Great emotion, opener was excellent specially the bird refferal in the 2nd line. The title grabbed me to, a gud contraversial one, i liked the topic 2 [catholic/protestant war]. it was extremely original, i don't believe i've seen someone do this, especially not to this extent.

Quote:

---

The tension got intense due to suspense but they remained calm
Thunder witnessed the men kneel and rest their heads within their palms

---

and the closing bars wer a perfect way ta end it. i'll definately drop a nomination for this man. it's evident why your a 5x OM HOF. Killa material dawg.

it was good. I like it

thanks so much people i did put my heart into this one...be my guest if you wanna nominate sinned and untouchable hit me up on aim.

Bounce :)

Very nice piece man.. good subject matter too.. the Northen Ireland conflict is pretty rough.

I especially liked..

An obsession for happiness..
..Can often result in deep depression

Great line.. holds alot of truth too.. nicely done.

Captured the feelings and topic well.

Another bar I liked was..

The target had subsided the building, and had fled from within
And left a lost mother grasping in her withered arms his offspring.

Flowed perfectly.. great use of vocab and perfect imagery.

Overall a great piece man.. props.

this is one of the best ive read on this site.
you have raw material and the subject matter
was kept. the flow was perfect no flaws.
your word play made it very easy to follow.
you was I there or what Holla back

this is the truth.

......

You know how I feel about this... It's great... The opening is excellent, I love it... The way you wrote it was very good. The imagery... Description... Metaphor... They were all great. However, I think what really made this good was the message you conveyed with most lines, a lot of them had a powerful message... Which, to me, is amazing.

Nice work... Sucks your opponent no-showed in the playoffs. Be sure to vote on my battle in the playoffs!

Peace

will do stay up my man dev.

well............

overall this was a dope piece man, first paragraph was real nice and got better from then on,...peeg pretty much summed up this OM but there were more lines which were real nice, i could just post the whole thing lol, overall though man real nice drop, keep at it

thanks my man

This piece reminds me of a thread I made in ID.
Again, like your other OMS it's pretty good.
Although I'm not in the mood to read right now
I read it and thought it was well done.
:thumbup:

I have no idea why, but I just cannot get into this piece.

It's as if the topic is so distant from me, but I can usually relate to anything. I don't know, I found myself having to force myself to keep reading, hoping that I'd find something I like. I just couldn't...I tried reading it like ten times but I just don't like it. Maybe it's because I'm missing some information or because I'm too slow to understand. I like the imagery, that for sure is good. You nailed alot of lines, very impressive. As others have said, your opening lines were very well written. I found your tone not believable. I don't know, the tone just didn't seem real to me. Maybe I'm reading this in the wrong state of mind. *reads again* Too much use of "as" in the third verse for my liking. Yeah, I don't know, I just can't get into the topic. I thought the closing lines were very good, nice emotion in them. Sorry about such a shitty response but it's my truth. I've read it about twelve times now and I still can't get into it...

Aight Judge ... well worth the read .. the structure of it all was nice kept me ebbing on through it .. kept my attention with the internal ryhme and the imagery .. are you gonna turn this into audio ?.. I remember back in the day when you used to ask me to check up your peices for you and now You've grown into a nice topical head .. congrats man . Keep writing I'm pissed at myself for stopping you will only improve and there is nothing you can't do with a pen player .. this peice overall left a strong message the vocab used was nice and you still kept it a little street with some of your similes I like that . don't wanna write above muhfuckas heads or nothing . Looking forward to your next peice homey nice drop ...don't worry about legends its basically like highschool homecoming queen bs .. this was a peice that could hang with the better .. but not the best =) .. keep working pz.

thanks to all

Wow. this seriously may be the dopest OM I've ever read. Seriously. The vocabulary was awesome, the details and visions given were outstanding, and the story went together so well. I'm not really sure how to break down topicals and what not, so I apologize for that... but this is legends material if you ask me. Without a doubt...

Irate emotions and religious devotions, eased the Catholics mission
Ambition to represent tradition..
..Had them taking more blood than Crips within prison

That line was cool. Real cool.

Iono what else to say though man, this shit was amazing, and it sucks that OM is so horrible with leaving feed, and reading pieces, cause this shit was ill.

If you could, please check out, Heavenly Sins. I'm trying to improve myself as a topical writer now, and NO ONE leaves feed. I'd appreciate it man.

thanks so much people up!

2 words: fucking dopeness. The concept was great, the imagery was pretty much perfect, your vocab was correctly balanced, the structure was great, the italics to break up the verse, the prayer:

"Our concern for your world is curled up within our aggression
An obsession for happiness....Can often result in deep depression"

great stuff, i'm feeling the situation, the UK hears about Ireland's situation all the time. Just a great OM man, its getting nominated for OM of the month again.

keep posting, and if you could rep my piece 'shadowboxing' i'd appriciate the feedback.

thank you.

and bounce!

A lot of peeps sayin that tha opener hits tha spot, and damn, i gotta agree, u got high vocab and ur rhyme structure is nice. what stood out to me was tha emotion dropped, it gets to ya. there aint much to improve on ur part, keep it up a'ight

*peace and love*

This Is One Of The Best Topicals On Religion That I Have Read. Very Enjoyable And Great Vocab...Imagery Was Fantastic In Some Parts, And The Emotion Was There In All Of It...

Awesome Open Mic...

thanks.

i know i am god, but psst this isnt legendary judgy!

but it was nice, somewhat bored me in the middle than came back .. it needed to be more consistent, but it was coo .. vocab could be upped on some places, but nothing biggie .. though you could trow in some more complexity .. keep writing holmes.

:thumbup:

LMFAO at people telling me this ent legendary i dont ask for the nomination people...

anyway thankk and i dont do this for legends i do this for writting

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by K

LMFAO at people telling me this ent legendary i dont ask for the nomination people...

anyway thankk and i dont do this for legends i do this for writting

---

word.

and dont be stepped on your toes, im just being honest with you, .. i could lie if you want?

This was niiiiiiiiice man that wazz good man props given on that one

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by K

You are God

Can we please have a moment of silence for lives lost to religion
…..
….
…
..
.
Irish green was wasted, replaced with dusty colors forming an awning
The place were dew couldn’t settle and birds to scared to sing in the morning
Warming pollution coated and was found devoted to the air
If the majority isn’t making an effort the minority’s facing despair
The local square was captured, enraptured by the Irish terror
Found home ground to warfare for the catholic, protestant error
The weather turned for the worse, a curse fell upon the estate
Weather is a trend setter..
..For worse or better gifted the Catholic’s feelings of hate
Irate emotions and religious devotions, eased the Catholics mission
Ambition to represent tradition..
..Had them taking more blood than Crips within prison
The Protestants position was situated directly opposite their spot
As the plot grew thicker, so did the cloud cushioning the chimney pot
The tension got intense due to suspense but they remained calm
Thunder witnessed the men kneel and rest their heads within their palms

“Let us pray”

“Oh mighty lord above us, love us and offer support next to me
Only sacrificing life’s to endeavor, ever so closer to your ecstasy
Guide us to the light, as we fight for you in order to learn
Each cup of blood captured feeds you energy for your return
Our concern for your world is curled up within our aggression
An obsession for happiness..
..Can often result in deep depression
But our confessions enable us a stable footing that’s exposed
And when we kill the none believes we pray your gates are closed
You are my God”.

“Let’s do it”

The Catholic’s started to panic, manic of making this worthwhile
While one cocked his weapon the other one grimed with a smile
Versatile with passion, crisp and light on their feet as they traveled
Present with each step past their destiny, as their future unraveled
And as they gathered outside the destination, grenades by their side
Detonation was thrown, as a drop of sweat followed the ammunition inside
The target had subsided the building, and had fled from within
And left a lost mother grasping in her withered arms his offspring.

“Children let us pray”

“Lord I am not scared, I was prepared for the damage life courses
Within a breath of fresh air, it’s only natural to take pauses
And if you sacrifice my life, tonight I no its heaven I’m seeing
Cause I sacrificed my life to raise you two healthy beings
And I no it sounds odd, but if it’s me give me the nod
As there is no better time to see you, you are my God.”

R.I.P to all the families lost to religion.



#1.

#2.

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This was a dope piece! The 1st piece i've red of yours and not the last! You got amazing skill homie and i red this 5times before i layed down my reply, this gets 10/10 easy for rhymes vocab structure and just plain dope ness!

Very well written and expressed piece. You did a good job on this writting. Personally, I like the 1st paragraph the best because some of the vocab used in this piece brought out the message best... You stayed on topic very well

greatness in motion.. good shit..it was solid from all angles.. flow, vocab, errythang was there.. ill definitely be looking for more pieces..

thanks agen

this peice was just... INCREDABLE... K... you are amazing... I assume you in sacred scriptures and you elite cuz man...this was incredable... brilliant structure and idea...the hole thing was incredable....
great shit