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Thread: Red Rum

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    West Memphis, 10
    Posts
    4

    Red Rum

    real fast raps over erie beat

    {Smooth One8Seven}
    pass me the hatchet its time to get wild/
    dismember the bodies and stack them in piles/
    drag em in trash bags down to the river/
    shouldn't a fucked with these West Memphis killas/
    all of the victims are unidentifiable/
    because i'm so smooth and so slick when feeling homicidal/
    scopin out all these fuck bitches on my hit list/
    along with the innocent bystanders, satan as my only witness/
    if the 5-0 arrive before i escape/
    Devious get to the stash spot and dig some more graves/
    showin no mercy, overtaken by the psychosis/
    smilin the minute before i slaughter without notice/
    10 wanted men in my clique all wanted for the same crime/
    cuz all of my niggas got one thing in common mo murdah on they mind/
    before my enemies try to put me under the dirt/
    i'm fliping the script mane its red rum reversed/



    {Lord Devious}
    liquor sippin and thinkin' 'bout murdah mane/
    lucifer got me goin insane/
    i snort up this devils dust and drag off my weed/
    dressed in black with a jason mask snipin enemies from the trees/
    i'm goin psycho can't control the rage/
    so i'm strapped with an ak blastin' away in a daze/
    with bloody dead bodies layin all over the place/
    the voices i'm hearin' say i must obey/
    killin and spillin blood in the streets for ya cheese/
    leads to mass murder cuz i'm not discrete/
    wipin' out innocent witnesses i think nothing of it/
    when homicide's on my mind fuck it i'll do it in public/
    after the slaughter is over i'm takin this dosia to a torch/
    smokin a blunt in ya house as i sit ontop of your corpse/
    ya wifey, ya son, even the baby will join you in death i killed em all/
    with their blood on my hands i'm writing red rum all over the wall/

  2. #2
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    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    London
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    38
    Posts
    6,410
    Battle Record
    2-1
    You need to get two links, to two OMs you left decent feedback on, or this gets closed, thanks.
    ...

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    9,864
    first of all.....you need to stop with the / slashes.

    they are extremely herbish.

    topic was nice, but you ruined it with your shit......you need to get emotion, vocab, rhyme schemes etc.

    read some tutorials, or ask someone for help.

    im down to help you, always here to elevate people....aim - Paythekostho

    keep it up though

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Age
    37
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    9,422
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    34-2
    exactly what is sed above man
    read some of the vets peices in here
    you need more complex rhymeing
    more schemes more vocab and stop
    with the short stubby lines man
    nothing great elavate and fly.

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  5. #5
    Da_Trifecta
    Guest
    Yeah man i agree with what said above
    ya good rhyming switch was jai like set off

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Wiccid's Avatar
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    yo that was nice homie i give that a 6/10
    Stay Still Herb

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    Push n Herbs Aside


    THE END IS NEAR FOR ALL

    The Establishment

    &


    Lyrical KnockOut

    RESPECT THOSE WHO RESPECT YOU

  7. #7
    A few of the Chosen Lurid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    valleys of death
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    34
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    22-11
    first of all.....you need to stop with the / slashes.

    they are extremely herbish.

    topic was nice, but you ruined it with your shit......you need to get emotion, vocab, rhyme schemes etc.

    read some tutorials, or ask someone for help.

    im down to help you, always here to elevate people....aim - Paythekostho

    keep it up though
    __________________

    ps kost nice sig nigga i saw the one that said nip slip that one sucked compared to the one u have now
    Notarized Artistry

    Open Mics

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  8. #8
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    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    London
    Age
    38
    Posts
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    Battle Record
    2-1
    No links, closed. And lyricalgangsta, stop upping these wack pieces idiot.
    ...

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