Self-Centered... (from a battle)

Isaiah this! Psalms that! Books of the bible, and not one knowledgable,
Has anyone really analyzed the bible? None of it is logical!
Then once we question, the tongue lashing launches,
“You betrayer of Christ!” and we are fed bullshit responses,
You cannot answer a secular question with a non-secular event,
Searching for answers, the books are just filled with shit content,
My descent is padded by cries, from my family’s eyes, shrieks pop out,
Because if “if I don’t believe, I’m going to hell” what a fucking cop out,
So I pick up this “ancient text” and lose patience with the attempt at intelligence,
Where is the relevance? It’s hard to absorb, what is SO easy to ignore, tell me this:
Has anyone ever seen a miracle? Or are they just word of mouth,
And why doesn’t god help society, the world is absurd by now,
So please, go to your church, and talk to the priest / pastor / WHATEVER!
There is so many religions competing, and WE need to get our shit together?
I find it ridiculous; religion in itself is the biggest hypocrite,
I’m conspicuous, is religion along with Jesus blind?… or just ignorant.
I’ve seen hell, and believe it… it’s what we call “earth”
Adam and Eve fucked us? The Savior should have resolved it at birth!
But it all lead to death, if he knew he was going to die, why let it happen?
He was human! Same emotions, and he let them attack him!
Who would want that? Answer that, Jesus might have been a good mentor,
But was this man really a god… or was he just self-centered…

Links-
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...40#post2275840
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...57#post2275857

i sig the concept man, and the execution was pretty good as well. it read more like angry poetry than a hip-hop verse but i thought that was a good thing. solid vocab and rhymes, although multi's would've helped i think. decent imagery as well. just a solid verse all round.

keep posting.

thank you very much.. :)

You should show your dad and grandma this. They would be proud.

Incineratedrose.


Everything i read from u is dope man and i read this one it was real dope :thumbup: i liked ur rhyming ur structure and ur flow theres nothing bad to say about it but Good Job.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Daedal

You should show your dad and grandma this. They would be proud.

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yeah, they love religious bashing.

Word. I love when grandma starts pushing down the church row when I don't go up for communion. It warms my heart like no other.

yeah..

you wanna lead feedage or what?

Nah, not really. I just felt like updating you on my heart warmth status.

pretty good. i'm been feeling anti-religious as well. i liked the way it all came together and i liked your rhymes. i agree that it seemed like angry poetry - but it can also be seen as poetic rap haha. keep this stuff up.

yeah, i was feeling this, obviously you have a talent for this....i found the structure obstructed the flow too often....but the message you sent across made up for it. i thought you could have worded some lines better than what you had.....some lines were really good and spoke alot of truth, but then the next line would be just a filler or something. but overall, this was a really good piece, you had alot of great ideas, mostly everyone can relate to this (except those hardcore religious bastards) which is a good way to write, so, in closing, keep up dawg

fav lines:
I find it ridiculous; religion in itself is the biggest hypocrite,
I’m conspicuous, is religion along with Jesus blind?… or just ignorant.
Who would want that? Answer that, Jesus might have been a good mentor,
But was this man really a god… or was he just self-centered…

there was more, but i typed enough already....

^thanks, i'll be sure to hit up your links.

Decent peace, Flow was off, So was te rhyme scheme. Overall it was average I guess. Keep droppin.

maybe you need to re-read it.

because the flow works, try reading it out loud.

bahh, screw you and your inners, you only have one in there, ahh well....i guess if you have 81 open mics in the hall of fame, you're allowed to be arrogant.....

i enjoyed the concept of this piece...it was suprising and a little bit funny...
the part where you said the book was filled with bullshit content was funny as fuck ....vocab was average wasnt too hard to read...multies could've been used but didnt take away from the piece at all... rhyme scheme was decent ...overall i give this a 7/10....
RTF...would much appreciate it gettin slept on

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=184638

^thanks.

and i know, i didnt want to have a shit load of internals, that is just gay.. that and having a multi on every line.. sometimes simplicity is key.

Word.

I loved this. I left feedback in the battle that you posted this in.

Pz. man

I liked the concept, you took the topic in a creative way. Had some good ideas. There was nice vocab scattered throughout. You were descriptive, which helped you get your message of the piece out. The verse closed nicely, leaving the reader with something by questioning.
Thanks for checkin out my open mic.

anytime anytime, and thanks.

yeah man im wit u on that i think ppl should read the versus out becuz in they mind it seems different

uhh, alright.. feed maybe?

yo main shit was lyrical.. good use of vocab got some multiz.. but str8 up to be honest it was borning as hell.. why shood i give a fuck about what u think... u gota force me to like it main u gota make your fuckin words stick out and shit.. stay up doh that shit was pretty potentialy ill and shit..



wesstcoasst...

i really dont care what anybody says that puts "Wesstcoasst..." after their post.