TR - I should have stayed dead

Doc, I heard the last thing you said
If your tone is any note I should’ve stayed dead
Death, hurry and come claim me
So these people I love can stop complaining

I can’t sleep so I flirt with the overnight crew
And it hurts to see the sight of the bearer of bad news
Now I’m used to getting probed and prodded
But I’ll never make a muscle to see my skin blotted
Beside me I can see a couple Hallmark cards
Yet nothing from some people I held in high regard
I asked my sister and she did her best to reach you
I can’t believe I open my eyes and still haven’t seen you

Doc, I heard the last thing you said
If your tone is any note I should’ve stayed dead
Death, hurry and come claim me
So these people I love can stop complaining

Those who worried; I apologize
Those who are saddened; I sympathize
Those who cried; I visualized
Those who were afraid; I epitomized

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...53#post2134053
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post2134066

Dope shit, TR...

Honestly...prolly one of ya best. Deep...

Man, I didn't know you were going through anything.

I hope it all goes as you need it to, man.

Peace and much respect/net-love!

yo that was tight it does sound like u going through some things there is no better way than to express it by writin it was tight though.

Ok.....


Can see the emotional part in your
chorus there...Was short so there
isn't that much I can say..Your first
few lines were somewhat touching..
Due do the fact that it reminds
me of someone....My critique is
you should have written way more...
Other then that for a short piece ,
yeah you had good emotion man....

Keep writing..

that was really deep, i like the emotion it let off no doubt u got some shit goin down well that make two of us.. stay strong

-ryda

I'm very glad to hear you're alright. Or, for now at least.

This is a tight piece, man. I loved that ending. Liked the hook. The main body of the verse had a simple rhyme sceme, but that didn't matter at all, it was an emotional piece of writing. I would like to see something longer though, my only real criticism. Keep at it though, this was deep, as was expected.

Reply, if you get a spare chance: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175151

elevate and achieve

The last few days I have been wondering about nominating this. I think I should.

Lol@ "But It Did Happen". Decent shit, homie. Good to see you around and active.

-W1

im glad your alive..i did what i could to find out some info..no one told me anything..so, i prayed for you...and im glad you're ok...

and this is a nice piece...
truth.

this was a nice deep piece as everyone else said glad to see you are alright and welcome back

This piece made me sad.........

"Beside me I can see a couple Hallmark cards
Yet nothing from some people I held in high regard
I asked my sister and she did her best to reach you
I can’t believe I open my eyes and still haven’t seen you"

*sighs* That hit me hard....this piece was simply great.

This was nice man, simple but very effective.

Overall, this piece cant come near the emotion you must be feeling, but it was some deep emotional shit.
I cant get over how simple it was put together, it seemed like nothing but I was pretty much blown away while reading it.

This is some hot shit man, Im lad you'r ok... Things will get better if you'r feeling like this piece says.

Overall 9/10
Simple Great.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176702
Check out my piece if you would... Thanks

And wow at the same comment being made 'simply great' at the same time.

obviously what this piece is.

nice drop man.liked the chorus,simple but deep.the piece has some strong emotions in it,but was short,should've made it longer,put mo feelin into it.the usage of vocab was ok,structure olso ok.the piece itself was as i said nice,but again should've done it longer since ya have the chorus there twice and olso an outro,which has a simple scheme,but was deep and on point.keep writtin man

Damn this was a real deep piece. I enjoyed reading it alot. I thought that the emotion was on such a high level in this damn. The content in this was great and I was really feeling it nice work.

I like the ending. :thumbup: