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stop the violence
my first part :
we need to come up with some sort of ceasefire.
If it was an East Coast/West Coast or not
too many soljas on tha street gettin shot
we need to put a stop to this before it gets out of hand
stop this shit for your childrens furure try to understand
put away dem gats , that shit is for dirty rats
muhfuckerz from the gutter who be usin dem baseballbats
dont start killin the streetz , walk straight on your feet
follow the right path , give space for our children to breathe
nomore violence its guidin u straight to your grave
it aint bout surviving anymore , its bout being weak or be brave
we keepin the youngsta's inside
in times like this its just better to hide
playgrounds turned into battlegrounds
imagin for yaself how a gunshot sounds
errything turns black in front of dem eyes
try to say sumthin to his parents before he dies
another youngsta left his beloved ones
ya finally earned the respect but now u gone
family of dem who has fallen already
we cauzin pain dont y'all get it
family of the fallen ones keep sayin " for once put ya sets away "
make sure there aint gone be another death today
can we please have a moment of silence
the lord took u under his guidence
new paths for u to cross
parents keep morning bout ur loss
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160014
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=158374
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uppin'
drop sum feedback
pz
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ayo after 2months i try to write sumtin agen
drop sum FEEDBACK IN HERE
tell me what y'all think
i wrote the first one few months ago
but read dem both
pz
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its str8 i mean its real cool how some one can make something inspireing like to bring world peace and shit. i wish muh fuckaz would stop sleeping but yo i just wanna say good shit
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i agree if it inspires it definetly was coneyed in the proper way of fusing a message and talent
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ty for the feedback bruh'z
appreciate it
UPPIN FOR THIS ONE
this to the rest y'all.......... read & drop FEEDBACK
TY
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Was def feeling this drop...concept was ill, camre straight from the heart and you kept it down to earth, not to many big shot words...just telling what's going on...bold n pure...Nice drop for sure!
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yo miss jess
ty for da feedback
i kno it aint all gd
UPPING
say what ya think
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You got major potential. This had alot of nice lines, but they weren't worded properly. Probably because of poor vocab. or grammar, but that doesn't matter though. I felt what you were trying to say, deep emotion, and a deep look at the topic. It would've been better if it was longer, and worded properly. But the whole idea & concept of your drop was decent.
Please hit this up:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160309
Peace
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i kno my vocab could be better
ty for the feedback bruh
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uppin' .........
if ya readin this
drop sum fuckin feedback
damn
just say what ya think
DAMN
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uppin'.......
comon y'all
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this was a good subject rhyme, nice 2 see someone who aint afraid 2 say what he thinks, most of the mc's on here just talk about how they gangsta's and there still getting tucked in at night ha ha. this was tight tight tight.
return the favour and reply 2 my last post
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160700
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you do have a basic vocab as far as intensifying your vocab look in a thesaurus find synonymns for your comnmon words alot of times using a dif word for same meaning adds creativety.....also though i understand the topic you did bounce alot from message to message u have to blend not bounce...this was a well thought idea non the less.and you put some hard concepts into it vocab also sounds better with multis which im juts learning maybe that will help.
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props... one of da best I've heard man.. damn.. serious, strait from the heart
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hey man i really really liked this piece. you could really add to, and even make this better. you got alotta potential..so all you gotta do is elevate a lile more, and u gonna be good son...peace
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iight
ty for the feedback
STILL UPPIN
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i really liked the subject matter of this piece...but the structure wass all over the place...i dont know maybe you wanted it to be that way...its wasnt that complex as far as vocabn went but then again maybe thats how you wanted it...but overall it was a really good read...props and keep elevating...one
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i got sum gd feedback
even with a basic vocab
thx y'all
still uppin
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yo drop sum feedback
damn
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topic was decent - good to have something with substance like you did - you wan'na bring something new to it though - this type of thing has been done so many times - you got'ta make yours stand out - flow was aight - scheme could be improved - overall kinda decent ish - needs some work - but we all do - just keep at it - peace
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good drop i was feelin this shit ur vocab cud be better tho
keep droppin
peace
