"Rainfall..." - Bloomquist and T-West

Rainfall

It starts pourin' rain...but this isn't the first...
an image takin' shape...this is life at it's worst
Thoughts rift, eyes shift...mind drifts to unstable...
catch myself starrin' at my dusty turntables...
"When will it stop rainin'?...I urned for the sun-
to come...imaginin' fields where I could run...
rememberin' the hikes...the times I climbled trees...
fallin' off my bike...big cuts on my knees...
these were the scenes that I breathed...
the reasons I lived...
stories I'd give, when I had kids...
my pain from the rain...others never understood...
life bein' slain...from my short childhood
I started to imagine things I could be missin'...
The finer parts of nature, i'd never get to listen
The eyes of my life...would they ever glisten?
my soul now compared to a Vinyl record...
"Drip"....the rain on the window pane...
not original but plain...all drops sounds the same
they came...they left...neither bringin' any new...
mark lasts for a bit...but then it goes through...
this is all I can do...only sit and observe...
but everynight I dream of "what if it curved.."
no blinds, or curtains...it's always in sight...
cuz if I blocked the rain...i'd be blockin' my life...
:
:
:

Raindrop's stall as these opportunities call..
Hate dissolves as this society falls..
Symbollical flaws are dispursed with fleets of rain..
Pain calls the rainfall to stop, pursue its self and contain..
Re-Construction of the art in a philosophical being..
De-Corruption is to start without all deceasing..
Raindrops hit the pavement, shrouded in silence..
Muted as Evaporation barriers violence..
So time is, of the essence as blind minds retract..
So find this, teaching lesson as these signs react..
Hidden reasons in scriptures of raindrops falling from truth..
Expressing seasons of emotional conquests calling our youth..
Will the raindrops reform together? Or will it slowly die?..
Cowards disgrace all bretheren as the feelings collide..
Lives are stolen from family as the rain begins to tame..
But fear not, for the sun will appear without shame..
Clouds will clear, raindrops will gather and return to thier skies..
A golden age throughout.. no regrets or demise..


The water blurs words that are scripted on paper..
but I pray for the day when it might turn to vapour..
as the rainfall pours...it captures my thoughts..
when will the sun come?...and shine on hip-hop..

Verse One: T-West
Verse Two: Bloomquist

Link
Link

First verse was nice, I saw a bit of wordplay in there

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Verse 1

It starts pourin' rain...but this isn't the first...
an image takin' shape...this is life at it's worst
Thoughts rift, eyes shift...mind drifts to unstable...
catch myself starrin' at my dusty turntables...
"When will it stop rainin'?...I urned for the sun-
to come...imaginin' fields where I could run...

---

That was a nice and solid way to start off the shit
The whole verse was pretty nice. It's just that stuck out a bit
Dont kno why, but it was a nice drop by T-west

Bloomquist, you also came off with a nice and solid start

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Verse 2

Raindrop's stall as these opportunities call..
Hate dissolves as this society falls..
Symbollical flaws are dispursed with fleets of rain..
Pain calls the rainfall to stop, pursue its self and contain..
Re-Construction of the art in a philosophical being..
De-Corruption is to start without all deceasing..

---

A bit of wordplay, and some vocab. Nice combination
Imagery was nice. This was a very nice drop too.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Verse 2

Lives are stolen from family as the rain begins to tame..
But fear not, for the sun will appear without shame..
Clouds will clear, raindrops will gather and return to thier skies..
A golden age throughout.. no regrets or demise..

---

Vocab was there. Imagery was nice. And flow was good.

Both had some nice imagery and flow
Overall.. this was one hell of a piece
Props.. keep it up you two.



Hit this up - http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=142942

Uppin for any feedback for my boy T and me.

Upping again. Dont sleep people.

I thought this was a great piece....keep it up guys...the verses went well together, the flow was on with lots of multies and internals from both of you....Like Ill said, I saw a little wordplay and some nice references, T your opening few lines were real nice and Bloom your closer was also solid....I thought this was a real nice collab by the both of you...Good job....Keep em comin...Peace...

Good shit. West, your verse was aight. The flow was cool, and the imagery was good. Nice descriptive verse. Decent shit. Not your best, but still above average shit. Bloom, your verse was also nice. The flow was a lot better than the last shit I read from you. Nice immprovement. Overall, nice collabo. Keep writing, fellas.

-W1

Question: does anyone understand what we were even talking about it this piece?

I didnt really understand the topic all that well.. Its like you were saying the rain holds you back from ever doing anything.. I dont know its raining right now damn I hate oregon weather.. But you both had a smooth flow in each of your verses.. Also you both had good description and image qualitys..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BQ'

Question: does anyone understand what we were even talking about it this piece?

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^nobody will get it...I'm 100% positive that nobody won't...n' I doubt anybody picked up on the symbolism...I told u that we shoulda told them lol.

Thx for the feedback.

And what we are talking about...is Hip Hop...I didn't throw in a dusty turntable...or compare my soul to a vinyl record for nothin'...

Yes but no one will understand the symbollism how mine relates to hip-hop.

Very nicely done. T west started it off with a good flow. Alot of imagery was put into his verse. The ending two lines of his verse really caught. I like how he did that. Nicely done as always T. And Bloom good flow. You put more emotion into your piece. A little bit of imagery. And I see it that you were talking about your own life or you are the rain in this peice. Am I correct?

-Wise

No you are not. I am in no way the rain. But that is your view on the writing, so so be it. Everyone views differently, the piece can mean anything in the eye of the beholder. I doubt anyone will understand the symbollism i tried to portray though. Anyway, replies?

Upping again...wow inactive today i guess

Leave a good piece of feedback and i'll be sure to hit up ure work. Thanks

One final up. Thanks

This peice was dope, I enjoyed both verses and I kind of thought you were talking about something else besides the obvious, now that you mention hip-hop, T, it's clear. I liked the vocab, nothing too serious or trying too hard to sound big, ya know? nice structure and topic, great collab. Keep it up. -out

Hateful Lover

this was good, i liked it, very nice...

T West
your verse was nice, flow was very easy to follow and your message was very clearly stated and your imagery was right on point, this was a very good verse, noapparent flaws, maybe a syllable too little or many on a line or two, but that's so nit picky...anyway...very good verse, beginning to see why you're in hence and genesis, especially if this is just your average(which si what im taking it as)

Bloom

I know i hate on you alot, but this was decent, the flow was very good, the struucture was very good and i enjoyed reading it, you managed to slip in the right vocab and line structure to trhow off novice readers so your verse maintains an intellectual air...this was exceptional, but still your average....im takign it as your average...i felt your imagery...your verse was slightly more esoteric than t west's, but they fit together alright...i would have liked to have seen another verse to this, but it was good...

nice drop

9.0/10 average for the two of you

this has some dope imagry in it man.... the first verse seemed to me like it had a beter flow and a few tighter ryhmes..but i guess its about the whole peice as one.....both verse's together were tight...

pz

Hey this was a nice peice here guy's, I honelsty did not expect what I got from this. Deep in a symbollic sense, and the idea of portraying the worlds most perfect system of hydration, as the industry hounds that be, is taking it up a notch. Such an abstract comparison is not going to be associated by most, but it's complexity is very appealing in this light. Both of you hit the mark with this, left an impression with me, something few people do, now a days. Although not the best work I seen from either of you, this is by far the best use of concept I've witnessed on your parts. Very good approach to a topic that has been done to death, but not in a way that makes it brand new again. Very good on that alone. Now you did elevate the overall feel of the drop with vocab and nice schemes, but I think you nailed it conceptually more than in any other respect. The last line of this peice is so revelaing yet at the same time, teasing. The stressed importance of the 'rain' is made clear as you elude to the transition from a liquid state to that of the evaporated vapor/gas state. Scientifically sound, yet poetically drenched in symbolism, this is for the most part true, and the reader must be aware of your focus to make this conclusion. I find it to be blatant, but am not sure if that is exaclty where you were going, if so, props to you for making this a mulitlayered drop, in an intellectual sense. It's not an easy task, but makes a great conversation peice. The bombardment of mainstream/primary state of liquid/flow (rain) is flooding our minds with coruption on a creative level, muting that conscious voice we yern to let free. T-west nailed with the reference to rain as being plain, and sounding the same. I mean it's obvious what is being said here, for people not to see it, is just supports the message here, blinders are on, in the redundit beat played out it by the indiviual drops of rain. The reign in industry today, is reflective of pricise and equal amounts of much the same. It's more of a cry to escape the core form and break into the the other state of liquid/rain which is vapor, or gas form. Very nice mataphores used here, if that is what you guy's were going for. I do feel it as so, since it's all so obviously laid out as such. I just wanted to qucikly touch upon this drop, and point out what I felt you guy's did right. This is more along the lines of my approach to writting, and I can respect the amount of thought put into this.

Good job on this...
-Bounce

Wow. Much appreciated feedback Bounce. Thank you.

watup fam.
Well T....your verse was decent, great presence of basics...something was missing to me, like one of those descriptive lines that makes everything fall into place, the closer was good but I felt like there was nothing to lead up to it to give it a better effect.
Bloom, your verse was also straight, but like i said, something was missing even though the whole raindrops shit fit in perfectly and all that, but it just wasn't what i expected it to be. Not that it was bad, but it fell short of the promise i expected as both your verses started off.