..Mind Myself..

Tha fractions in which I think..I react in small time
And my actions make me blink..but as do all minds
I control my thoughts..as they're kept in my brain
Then they're shown as I walk..exempt from restrain
What I do relies on them..so I have to be careful
My skill suprises men..and it comes from a rare skull
Even now my intelligence capacity is untapped and
Untouched but against yours..I'll win..it'll happen
Some views are intricate..and so some don't get it
Don't know how to deal with it..call it Jimney Cricket
Think of ya brain as ya temple..thoughts a sanctuary
Even mental words from blind men hold great visionary
As I say it..its sacred..and unheard by ears helps
Some filled with hatred..until I start to fear myself
Then I back up and breath..giving my mind oxygen
Knowledge intertwined and weaved..keeping it boxed in
So you can use it as you want..to succead or be
Filled with regret and haunted by what future for sees

..Just a lil keystyle of some shit
I had to get out..open for examination

Reply
Reply

well then... your scheme was decent, there was 1 or 2 transitions tho, could be made smoother, some decent multis, one seemed forced tho apart from that...blah.... but your concept was good, and it ended on a pretty strong note,,, i like that sorta way of ending, if you know what i mean.... like sorta leaving you pondering/thinking..... so yeah interseting little read.... nice key....

okay for me. at one point the flow was off. good multies.

Think of ya brain as ya temple..thoughts a sanctuary
Even mental words from blind men hold great visionary
As I say it..its sacred..and unheard by ears helps
Some filled with hatred..until I start to fear myself

my fav part of the piece . overall okay keep writing

This was cool. The concept was aight, but one that you cant really put a finger on. It was still cool. I liked the rhyme scheme. It flowed easily. Decent read. Keep doin' what you do, homie.

Please Drop feedback here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117801

Thanks for all tha feedback

The mind is a big place to explore but you did
it in short and snappy way. But it was nice.
Your flow was at its best at the beginning,
It didn't fall off but it wasn't as fluent
all the way thru.
Your scheme was pretty basic but you still had
some nice complexity thru some vocab'.
You followed the topic nicely & stayed on track,
It was nice how ya exemped yaself at the end.
Props all round for this. You kept my attention.

Make sure ya peep this plz-
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...83#post1241483

That link wont work. So just peep it in OM
pz

Thank you..

I didnt like the beginin flow but the rest was of the hook no doubt after i kept on readin it became more...fluent to me...structure was easy to read good shit complexity with yo vocab no doubt some i couldnt really comprehend..lol impressive peice hopefully i will read more of yo pieces

Check mine...called Untitled

Pretty good for a keystyle if you ask me...

^Tha fuck?!?


lol

This was alright. had a decent flow

nothing really stood out, but atleast the flow didn't suck

Lol, peace.

Glad you liked tha flow..
Thats what I focused on
Tha most in this piece

Bump

nice flow, good ryhmes , sturcutre was aight and vocab was good all good imagery and nice visions portrayed in your words. overall dope drop.

i liked this wize ways really nice..good structure and nice flow...i enjoyed tha multis and ...th wordplay was nice could be worked on a bit but it was still nice man... keep it up kuz I liked it...LataZ....

Thanks

Scheme was ehh, but you had some complex things in here that attracted me to it. It was short and to the point. Flow was ok, fluid at the start, tampering off near the end, watch out for that. This was good for what it was, I liked it. You kept me reading and the ending was good. Nice job. Keep dropping. Pz.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1282386
^ ^ Feedback appreciated , Thanks.

Very interesting concept, haven't seen this topic done before... I like how you made something so complicated seem simple... You explained it with some good metaphorical use and imagery..

Even now my intelligence capacity is untapped and
Untouched but against yours..I'll win..it'll happen

The second line in this bar was forced, you can't tell me it wasn't... Just try make ya rhymes smooth and not forced, it will help your flow also, which was off a bit at times, especially where you have the forced rhyme...

Overall a pretty good piece.. Just work on a couple tings...

Could you hit my piece in my sig? It would be hella preciated...

Thanks peace....