12 lines
30 min
no b/s
You first.
Printable View
12 lines
30 min
no b/s
You first.
aight my first battle in here...i'll try and adapt to the rapbattle stle
dumb guy thought he could stand up to this challenge
saw my rhyme stepped back and lost his balance
wouldnt out shine J with spits if ye wore lip-stick
is he holding hotness?nah the kid grips shit
suprising nobody bites your lines coz all em "fillers"
you wanna see pussy take a glance at the mirror
lyrics like un-needed maths teachers coz they sir- plus to requirements
this aint no formula one break but i'll have him re-tyreing
its like bullied midgets coz he not "up" for this fight
miss with my left then your face getting stuck with my right
your good lyrics unheard perhaps coz each verse is filled with dumb words
its like i beat you at losing my virginity the way i cum first
what did you mean when you said 30 min? 30 minutes to post my rhyme?...................................
You've got a braveheart like Gibson..but an actor just the same.
But Dope is a role you can't pull off..Your casted as lame
Let me show you the ropes...start with the one around ya throat there
Stand on a chair to get on my level..I'll kick it and hang ya ass in mid-air
While you stuck on the level I attained... and elevated from
I'll make you my son..celebrate your birth and death..one verse Son.
I got no personals at all for you..you're still just a newb
Who talks shit and swallows spit..mouth still attached to the boob
Your death will be another notch... for my winning streak
Like I slid across the gym floor without moving my feet
Dumb kid...from the burbs..trying to make himself Hood Rich
Who couldn't "wet" my appetite for a battle even if he could spit
Don't worry about it...we both came in under our time constraints.
dumb guy thought he could stand up to this challenge
saw my rhyme stepped back and lost his balance
blah..no punch...
wouldnt out shine J with spits if ye wore lip-stick
is he holding hotness?nah the kid grips shit
suprising nobody bites your lines coz all em "fillers"
you wanna see pussy take a glance at the mirror
filler and played rhymes
lyrics like un-needed maths teachers coz they sir- plus to requirements
this aint no formula one break but i'll have him re-tyreing
weak meta and punch
its like bullied midgets coz he not "up" for this fight
miss with my left then your face getting stuck with my right
played
your good lyrics unheard perhaps coz each verse is filled with dumb words
its like i beat you at losing my virginity the way i cum first
sex shit is mad played dawg
You've got a braveheart like Gibson..but an actor just the same.
But Dope is a role you can't pull off..Your casted as lame
decent...u already beat hime with this punch/meta
Let me show you the ropes...start with the one around ya throat there
Stand on a chair to get on my level..I'll kick it and hang ya ass in mid-air
played
While you stuck on the level I attained... and elevated from
I'll make you my son..celebrate your birth and death..one verse Son.
ok
I got no personals at all for you..you're still just a newb
Who talks shit and swallows spit..mouth still attached to the boob
whack
Your death will be another notch... for my winning streak
Like I slid across the gym floor without moving my feet
ok//kinda weak tho
Dumb kid...from the burbs..trying to make himself Hood Rich
Who couldn't "wet" my appetite for a battle even if he could spit
ok
Que took this easy..he threw punches...JMH only had filler..no real punches......check out WEC to get battle tips man...Que a kinda weak verse from what I've seen before..but still enough to beat JMH
PLease drop an honest vote here guys..thanks http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113550
i dont need no tips ive been text battling for 3 months and got plentywins, but the style of layout is very different here and i didnt know how much quality to put down coz i aint seen him battle....your break down was unfair...bar 1 for example you said there was no punch when there was, key word"stand up" but whateva ,nice verse quelude
i liked quelude shit his at least had some decent punches
next time i will explain my lines so you get the punches
Count this as an up as well...
JMH...Don't put explanations anywhere..it's newbish. Just keep dropping..your shit was O.K. you just need to elevate..also..opinions differ..some people value different things when it comes to voting so just chill and let them speak..you can't change their minds..if it's unfair report it to Investiagted Reports..other than that...let's keep the votes coming and drop ya links.
drop what links?you want a link to an ill verse i dropped yesterday in another forum?
No hate to you man..but I dun care how many wins you have...ALways drop dope...dun blame it on not know ing your opponent..And ya first bar was weak..a mad played punch...No offense..jus an honest vote
quelude won this.......
but both verses were hella weak
work on it
Uppin.
Post and Drop a Link.
Quelude vs. Jmh
JMH
dumb guy thought he could stand up to this challenge
saw my rhyme stepped back and lost his balance
-filler,metiphore = 3
wouldnt out shine J with spits if ye wore lip-stick
is he holding hotness?nah the kid grips shit
metiphore,-wrong = 2
suprising nobody bites your lines coz all em "fillers"
you wanna see pussy take a glance at the mirror
personal,punch = 6
lyrics like un-needed maths teachers coz they sir- plus to requirements
this aint no formula one break but i'll have him re-tyreing
metiphore,-strectched,-played = 3
its like bullied midgets coz he not "up" for this fight
miss with my left then your face getting stuck with my right
metiphore,-played,punch = 3
your good lyrics unheard perhaps coz each verse is filled with dumb words
its like i beat you at losing my virginity the way i cum first
multi,metiphore,-played
You could not come more played than this. half your verse, maybe a lil less, like 3 lines had majorly played concepts like the re-tire,cum first,and midgets line. You really need to step away from the radio and do this on your own. Be more creative.
Overall = 17
---------------------------
Quelude
You've got a braveheart like Gibson..but an actor just the same.
But Dope is a role you can't pull off..Your casted as lame
metiphore,wordplay,punch = 8
Let me show you the ropes...start with the one around ya throat there
Stand on a chair to get on my level..I'll kick it and hang ya ass in mid-air
metiphore,punch = 5
While you stuck on the level I attained... and elevated from
I'll make you my son..celebrate your birth and death..one verse Son.
-self hype,wordplay,metiphore = 6
I got no personals at all for you..you're still just a newb
Who talks shit and swallows spit..mouth still attached to the boob
multi,personal,metiphore = 6
Your death will be another notch... for my winning streak
Like I slid across the gym floor without moving my feet
-self hype,wordplay = 5
Dumb kid...from the burbs..trying to make himself Hood Rich
Who couldn't "wet" my appetite for a battle even if he could spit
personal,punch,metiphore = 6
Alot better than JMH. Very nice opener, kina dissapointed me tho, cus after that no lines were as good as that one. Besides that line I'd say a very average verse. But then again, you probly seen what was dropped before you. Ok drop. I think you can do alot better if you keep the heat up consistantly.
Overal = 36
---------------------------
Vote = Quelude
Drop an honest vote here
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...42#post1173242
Uppin.............................................
hit my link up :)
Uppin
..................................Vote and Drop a Link........................................
-Quelude-Quote:
Originally Posted by Quelude
Yo vote Quelude
Flow/ he had a nice flow going on with gud rhymes, wordplay could be betta tho, gud variation; JMH din't had a lot of variation, his rhymes were zzz.......
Punchlines: Quelude had more punches and they just came harder than JMH cuz his punches were all played i thought
Personals: They both had sum weak personals but Quelude had more and his personals just came betta than JMH
Multis: Quelude had sum nice multis goin on while JMH were just played
Structure: They both had an aight srtucture I suppose
Overall vote: Quelude
Vote on this man thx
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113596
dumb guy thought he could stand up to this challenge
saw my rhyme stepped back and lost his balance
^ok this was a weak punch with predictable rhyme scheme
wouldnt out shine J with spits if ye wore lip-stick
is he holding hotness?nah the kid grips shit
^ok this is a weak punch also.....
suprising nobody bites your lines coz all em "fillers"
you wanna see pussy take a glance at the mirror
^blah not that creative but i'll give it an ok punch...overall
lyrics like un-needed maths teachers coz they sir- plus to requirements
this aint no formula one break but i'll have him re-tyreing
^meh best line so far except its a little stretched out there...
its like bullied midgets coz he not "up" for this fight
miss with my left then your face getting stuck with my right
^agian easy simplistic rhyme sheceme midgets are played ...word
your good lyrics unheard perhaps coz each verse is filled with dumb words
its like i beat you at losing my virginity the way i cum first
^ok that not a bad line try to stay away from sex but actually not a bad closer...
You've got a braveheart like Gibson..but an actor just the same.
But Dope is a role you can't pull off..Your casted as lame
^good wordplay a nice punch....good opener overall
Let me show you the ropes...start with the one around ya throat there
Stand on a chair to get on my level..I'll kick it and hang ya ass in mid-air
^this has been done but its good.....i like it lil played is all
While you stuck on the level I attained... and elevated from
I'll make you my son..celebrate your birth and death..one verse Son.
^nice nice i like the punches and creativity here......
I got no personals at all for you..you're still just a newb
Who talks shit and swallows spit..mouth still attached to the boob
^ehhe ok nice wordplay....good stuff ...punchin consitently
Your death will be another notch... for my winning streak
Like I slid across the gym floor without moving my feet
^hmmm......well......see this wasn't bad but....meh
Dumb kid...from the burbs..trying to make himself Hood Rich
Who couldn't "wet" my appetite for a battle even if he could spit
^oo nice wordplay here .....check it quelude took this easy no hate to anyone...
Oak already dropped the link hit it up y'alll..he it is again
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114031
Punches: Que, had some nice ones and some weak ones, but better than nothing. Attached to the boob line was weak.
Wordplay: Que, show you the ropes line was dope
Multis: J, had 2-3 syllables per line
Personals: Neither, none from either verse
Opener: Que, opened with a decent punch, J opened with filler
Closer: Que, dope wordplay, J ended with ultra played shit
Vote - Quelude
J you could use some elevation, no played shit, flow is alright. Need much more punches, you only had one, and it was played as fuck. Quelude, what were you thinking with the boob line?!?!?!? Rest of the verse was nice though.
Dumb kid...from the burbs..trying to make himself Hood Rich
Who couldn't "wet" my appetite for a battle even if he could spit
Dope wordplay
return the favor in my battle with AK-Mixa