Topic: Ease The Pain (SS topic)
Lines: 30 Max
Due: Thursday, Febuary 5th
No Crew
No Hate
No D/R
Good Luck.
Topic: Ease The Pain (SS topic)
Lines: 30 Max
Due: Thursday, Febuary 5th
No Crew
No Hate
No D/R
Good Luck.
checkin in....good luck...this should be fun....
150 posts for people to vote...yadda yadda yadda
well here i am pitted against the best topical wrier on the site!!!
if i win, i will be letting bruklor ban ur name, brcause you love him!!!
Every Single Day, A Brand New Adventure
Wish It Was Pretend, These Issues Never Censored
Never An Easy Journey, A Continous Strife
Imagine Having No Control, Not Even With Your Own Life
Every Step I Take, Is As Risky As The Next
Where Will It Take Me? Don't Know What To Expect
Broken With Every Way, Physically Even Mentally
Running Out Of Options, The Cold Hard Reality
Thoughts Movin' Rampant, Lay On, The Heated Floor
Pop So Many Drugs, My Body Can't Take Anymore
Start Convulsin And Shakin', Can Feel The End In Sight
I Chickened Out, I Forfeited The Fight
Goin' To Hell, The Place For This Kind Of Escape
Thought It Through, I Knew My Ill Born Fate
Was Kvorkeinfluenced, Popped And Experienced Fantasia
It All Made Sense, The Step Of Euthinasia
Just Felt So Helpless, No Goals Or Direction
Why Would They Care, About My Personal Infection
The Pain Is Dissapointing, My Cells Going Numb
Begin To Ponder, Wasn't This Dumb?
My Families Loss, Was My Sufficient Gain
I Did What I Had To, To Ease The Pain
sorry, for being late, i had work, an college, im just gonna have to key it up now!!!
my wifes left,
the kids look at me no more,
jobs gone,
damn!!!
a love one lost... only to a fault of my own,
a happly family.. converted to a broken home,
a haven of peace was smashed, bad decisions,
evil has struck..... with intricate precision....
an illusion created in my mind.. an easy escape,
my soul offered to drugs.. my dignity to take,
a nervous hand parts.. with the devils money,
to a seedy man.... who's streetwize an cunning,
thoughts fill my head, but the process is wrong,
in my current state.. not at most mentally strong,
a needle jabs my arm, herion spreads amongst veins,
i lost control... feelings confused, mixed in my brain,
body an sense all different... a incredible feeling,
and after 1 dig of this.. my next step was steeling,
trying... but... only wanting to fuel the habit,
i never knew i already fell down the hole of the rabbit,
each doasge taken, like being on the boarder of death,
but its something i needed, because an empty was left,
just trying to ease the pain.... but its only prolonged,
a lost place in society....
......on the streets is now where i belong......
well i tried!!
peace
uppin for votes.uppin for votes.
uppin for votes.uppin for votes.
uppin for votes.uppin for votes.
why such a pessimist 007?...u came pretty good.......
actually...u get my vote..
i think 007 came better here....even though u used the same concept...
007 used it much better...better imagery, and seemed well thought
out even though u claim u keyed...
lightning came kinda weak....nothin really stood out...just plain use
of the concept...
so overall 007 came good..u came better here than in the battle part..
cuz i voted on that too....
no hate..just vote for the slept on...peace
Good topical battle.
White--I liked your details describing the emotion same structure as 007, and flow.some good vocab and nice mukties very good piece...I liked it a lot.
007- good piece..some nice details and imagery but not as consistant..I didnt really enjoy the end.
Over all I think this was extreamly close but WL just edged this with a more gripping verse.
Good topical battle though...peace
I noticed...Quote:
Originally Posted by GameTime
Uppin..For Votes.....Need To Finish This And Get Onto Hardcore Stage Of Battle...Uppin Uppin Uppin
uppin for votes.uppin for votes.
uppin for votes.uppin for votes.
uppin for votes.uppin for votes.
oihj upin rjrg r jnwngrw ren[j [ejgrnnnn
drop a vote
whitelightning will return any links drpeeed
fuckin vote you sleeping fuckers..this is ridiculous..this battle has been goin for over 3 weeks....VOTE!!!
well this was another good topical and its hard to judge cause both hit the topic so well. both had good structure and the flow was good on both. WL had the better wordplay and metas but 007 used nice words also. it seemed like 007 branched off into different parts of the subject which was good but WL made it all work with one subject. good piece from both but my vote goes to WL cause he hit the topic a little more.
VOTE_WHITELIGHTNING
open battles
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113861
Shit..dope versus by both...Ima have to give this to White Lightning by the narrowest of margins....Wl's verse jus seemd to hit me with more feeling than 007s...good use of multis and vocab...also was creative and original
007..you also had good vocab and were pretty original...but I dun think you quite had enough to top Wl's verse...stilla very dope verse...
Win=WL
Please drop an honest vote here guys..thanks a lot http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114158
fuckin up....This has been sleeping for a month now..
WL - I Liked you verse, it was very easy to read. I got a full understanding of what you were saying, and all of that. It had good vocab, figuring the line length and all of that. Maybe leangthin the lines, but it wasnt a problem. It was just a sweet little verse, and I liked how you handled the topic... But Ive seen better from you, LOL...
Keep doing your thing hommie...
Double-0-Seven - You also had a nice litte verse. I wasnt feeling the opener though, just didnt attract me to the verse that much. It had good vocab, figuring it was a small write. The structure was fine, you had some good lines in there. I didnt like the way you took the topic though. I was hoping you wouldnt stray to far from it, but you did. No hate, thats just my Opinion... It was a good verse, figuring you wrote it in a short amount of time... Ive also seen better from you... G/L hommie
Vote - White Lightning
Conclusion - I thought he wrote better on the topic than 007 did. Other than that it was evenly matched. Good work from both, this was hard to judge. G/L once again...
Be sure to return the favor and make an honest vote on the battle in my sig. That would be much appriciated, thanks...
V/ WL, Betterwriters voice, good story line, good vocab & flow..
Double O .. was a good try, some ok lines, .. but Wl just wrote better on the topic, than you did, .. very nice... to bad ur slipped .. u could have evaluated here to become a better writer.. keep it up..
Wl takes this.
im not slipped, i won the other half of slips.
uppin
Winner= White Lightning
007- You Had A Verse Nice Verse For Something That Was Rushed. You Had Nice Flow, I Was Feelin What YOu Hadda Say About THe Topic. Your Structure Was Nice, But You Lacked Vocab. 7.5/10
WL- Very Nice Piece, I Was Feelin This The Whole Way Through. You Had Really Good Flow, And You Were Really Descriptive About The Topic. Your Vocab Was There, And You Stayed On Topic. You Had Nice Structure Too. 8/10
Vote- WhiteLightning
Hit This UP
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115637