KnightMare - Passion & Fire
She’d had many children yet,
her labors of love had never tainted her luster.
Some rose to great heights.
Greater than she’d dreamed of attaining, while others
were washed up like debris
littering the shore after the rain and the thunder.
She’d already buried some.
Solemnly laying their remains in the hushed earth.
Then there was this one…
*her vivid flashback induced a spontaneous shudder*
…he wasn’t supposed to make it,
the umbilical cord nearly strangled this son first.
She was reluctant to recollect.
Her memories regenerated the pangs of his rough birth
and made the empty space where
this baby had once been contained in her gut, hurt.
That baby boy’s beaming smile.
It could cut through a cloud bank like a sun burst.
His adolescence was typical.
Deep inside they both knew he was anxious and unsure.
He exuded confidence outward
often mistaken for arrogance which angered instructors
who attempted to force his
creative energies into arrangements and structures.
All the while she let him grow
but, deep down, she silently languished with concern
as he strained to discover
his path and make positive gains in his young world.
As a teenager, his bluster
and cocky attitude got him entangled in much worse.
He struck out on his own.
She couldn’t stop his drive so she patiently observed.
Literally hid her worries.
Nonetheless, she feared that his insatiable hunger
for all worldly pleasures
and material goods would be his bane when it ushered
in a wave of destructive
behavior that sucked him down the drain to the gutters.
His smile became a scowl.
His skin became leather, his heart became even tougher.
Watching from a distance
she winced whenever she saw the anguish he suffered.
He never once looked back
She waited, he turned instead to strangers for comfort.
Began to pimp his sisters
and supply junk that boiled the veins of his brothers.
Got pinched, did his bids
then hit the bricks proud of his name and his number
She feared he would perish
as he continued to face countless, simultaneous, upwards
battles and challengers
with all the blind courage and strength he could muster.
She couldn’t even remember
when he last spoke without the slang and the cuss words.
Slowly she turned away…
Put up a strong front and maintained it with numb nerves.
She hoped to never hear
his voice again, knowing his language would crush her…
The days bled together until she red this letter:
Dear Music,
I know that I’ve brought you so much pain with my stubborn
resistance to guidance and all my miscellaneous blunders.
My papa was oppression, the picture he painted was cluttered,
but I naïvely believed I saw it all so plainly un-obscured.
Yet…
as I tried to drown myself out, at my most dangerous juncture,
you were the only voice in my head I couldn’t vanquish or submerge.
I owe you more than I am so I offer this thank you.
Thank you for under-
standing my growth process and allowing me to change, unencumbered.
When I was a ship lost at sea, you were both my anchor and rudder.
You were my inspiration, my spirit
You are my angel, my mother
Love,
Hip Hop
my links will come
