So Long.

[Inkling]

Many nights I’ve poured tears from my eyes
I got heart and all my love for you is clearly inside
I imagined us together beach cruising, but hold on..
It ain’t workin out so let’s keep movin..and So long

I like to chill with her and I’m nothin but real with her
Plus it’s not even a question if I appeal to her
And my inside is nice, honey ain’t gone cry tonight
Cause I’m here to show her the better side of life
I ain’t here for looks or smarts, Girl here works with style
I know it’s her personality that makes me smirk and smile
I moved on her and we both worked hard with patience
People started hatin cause I got more charm then bracelets
It couldn’t get no better I was so glad I met her
I didn’t have to be someone I’m not to impress her
But now we have arguments and we get no where
And next appears the cursing and expectant tears
I’d never want you dead to me but the fights are excessively
I can do without the stress but see I really want you next to me

Many nights I’ve poured tears from my eyes
I got heart and all my love for you is clearly inside
I imagined us together beach cruising, but hold on..
It ain’t workin out so let’s keep movin..and So long

When we separate ourselves my heart aches with pain
It just ain’t the same it’s almost as if we’re playin games
It’s plain insane, if you knew how much I missed you
If you were close to me I’d just rush and kiss you
Cause arguing is half of what we could’ve went through
We could’ve been blackin eyes and throwin fists
But let’s Thank God that an exchange of words was only it
But you can’t say that we are now truly the same
As we were a month ago when I had you on the brain
Everything has truthfully changed
Cause I found out what happened so now it’s back to choosin again

1, 1..

Many nights I’ve poured tears from my eyes
I got heart and all my love for you is clearly inside
I imagined us together beach cruising, but hold on..
It ain’t workin out so let’s keep movin..and So long

[SkullBreaker]

yo i like it homie in overall i give it a 8/10, i think u need to work on ur vocab and complexity and ur joint will be excellent lookin forward to seein more of ur drops aight man keep it up

[da king01]

good rhymes, bit of structural work needed mayb, but good read, vry interesting

[da king01]

yo inkling u got an alias?

[Inkling]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240519
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240295

[Daz]

your a love dove.
As a song this shit would go hard on the right beat.
'Specially this part

I moved on her and we both worked hard with patience
People started hatin cause I got more charm then bracelets
It couldn’t get no better I was so glad I met her
I didn’t have to be someone I’m not to impress her
But now we have arguments and we get no where
And next appears the cursing and expectant tears
&
We could’ve been blackin eyes and throwin fists
But let’s Thank God that an exchange of words was only it
But you can’t say that we are now truly the same
As we were a month ago when I had you on the brain
Everything has truthfully changed
Cause I found out what happened so now it’s back to choosin again

Them lines right there would go soo hard on the right beat. I might play it for my whole family. As a text OM. it was iight. The flow was on point wasnt lacking anythnig but i guess imagery. It had hella emotion etc etc and there should be a third verse. But word. Good Work.

-Daz

[J-Hova]

yo th8is was real good all u need is some better vocabs and u be set son overall its good homey keep it up

[Johnny 6-feet]

You need to 2 links on 2 open mics with DECENT FEEDBACK or this will get closed. Half a line isn't decent feedback.

[Knightmare.]

good wokr.. tons of emotion and vocab... only thing really lacking was imagery

keep up the good work

and btw........... peep Passion And Fire