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Thanks for preciation from y'all and bounce don't worry about ma parade lol, everyones givin' there views but yeah your write in saying i got long yet, maybe once i've completed a year, i'll be better, as for join SS, i'm not sure i'm ready......Thanks and preciate y'all taking out time and leaving comments
Last up for the day
"Man is an image of God, yet malformed and flawed
Unlike Jesus, man fell, when satanic temptations called"
whole piece was nice good vocab, word uasge, i liked the multies
i quoted what i thought was the best line,
nice piece i will have to look for some more of your pieces
This was good.....Strcture was nice.......Beggiging was mehh tho i was getting into the story after awhile.......Flow and emotion was also shown and also was vocab........it was nice tho idk be alil more creativity with ya shit........tho your nice with ya shit so pz :2thumb:
Now this peice really had me in awe. Very dope masterpeice. I admire your work very much. The title was very tempting so I went ahead and read this OM.
This was a very good OM. The begginging of your peice was really good and I like how you started off with the imagery of hell and can grab the rader to want more.
The complexity was admireable and I can understand was your emotion to this OM was. Thiswas a vey original peice from you and your outgoing and ingoing emotion to this peice was to the top. you had great emotion in there showing the religous and non-religoius views of many. Looks like somethign that can be taken out of the Releation of John. The imagery was phenominal and was awe-sipireing. Had good schenery from your verse and I can imagine the concpet you took place with it.
So overall Ingrenoius peice, keep up with the fantastic OM's and very creatice how you ending the verse. I would have not thought of that if I was making a OM about the bible.
SO overall I give it a 8.6/10 one of youe better peices.
Please take time to read some of my Open Mics and Feedback is greatly appreicieted.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272853
Thanks for all the preciation, i will surely check out all ya stuff no doubt
Bang......Bang.........Uppin'
Uppin'
Uppin' again
Last uppin' for the day
was nice verse but i wasnt feelin it it could use some flow to it and try to make more sense but was a nice peice overall 9/10 keep writing peace.
That line was playboy...Quote:
God lays down 3 kings, he grins, distaste spreads on Satan’s face
Faux grace, the tables are turned as Satan reveals an Ace
Your vocab was consistent and very good. Its common that people either A.over due vocabualry or B. dont have any... you did a good job on keeping it through out and not exceeding yourself. The story line itself was awsome. Yet another way to look at religion and is basis. The structure was a little off, but who am I to talk about structure.. *rolls eyes* Good drop Paki... keep them coming ;)
Thanks for the preciation everyone