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This was a good read, and the piece gave off an emotional sense as it was meant to. This had a good grasp of the ideas and thoughts that would go through writers minds and the vocabulary was really on point.
There wasn't any notice of forced rhymes which was good because the structure stayed on topic really well and the wordplay helped accompany this.
I didn't find this too long because of the depth it brought the reader to get to.
I had to read each line by line with an understanding of how they might be feeling, and because the vocab was well written, it made me think about this piece more. You have potential and great talent.
This was poetry at its finest and i'm a lil picky on this, but the lay out was perfect and neat.
Keep droppin, and could ya vote on some of the battles in my sig when you have the time? Thnx fam, appreciate it
~1~
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I liked this man. You had good vocabulary which help make a strong imagery. You grab'd my attention through the whole thing. Nice ish, keep up the work. Join Capo's.
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Peep Dick Headz :thumbsdow
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i liked this shit man, good flow, good vocab, good imagery, nothing to really grill ya on, its all pretty real
"Of my thorough talent but unaware they’re destroying my skills
Terrified to tell the torturing threats filling me as I utter soft shrills"
that bar was sweet man, favorite one..kept everything neat, and nothing forced...anyway stay up man..keep writin this type' shit and ill be back to read more
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=255653
nice voab. structure was perfect. literally, good job with this, the structure lead to a good flow, which lead to a good reads, also some nice imagery, soom rhymes seemd a lil forced though, nonetheless, keep it up, and peep my OM, the prophet: man vs machine
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I Fucking Hate Om's No1 Replyz
