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This turned out to be a good read, The complexity was something to be questioned, the structure was also sloppy and also it lacked any wittily worded sentences, but now onto the good aspects of this piece which out weighs the bad points, the flow was smooth throughout and the vocabulary seemed very necessary for it, The emotion was the major attribute to this piece which made it worth my read, I guess this piece meant alot to you, I sense that though the emotion, Nice Piece. Pz Out
thanx peep.
uppin...........................
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haha ya umm sorry man but your a biter, i have read this before, as soon as i remember the webpage ill come and post links, get your own shit
that was grimey still... keep em coming... yeah mine was a joke sitll lol
i like how you divided it up into three different segments to show the timeline...nice multis and vocab, good imagery and it wasn't difficult to relate to...pretty dope the way you expressed it..all in all, not a bad piece...hit up my collab w/speek ez in open mic called "The Darker Side of Love" whenever you get the chance..pz
flow intelligent- im not a biter. i know you heard this before. by Ace of Spades. thats my old account. i got pink slipped so i made this new one. and other than that. this is my shit. i wrote it ALL. and its funny how ur first
post on this site is in this thread. wutever.
realest g- lol. thanx
diverse- thanx man. i'll hit that up.
pz
uppin for some feedback..............
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Love topicals are too damn played but this was still good stuff, the diff phases made it a good read the vocab was really good sounded real poetic to me, the flow was good if you threw a beat on top of this and made it an audio song it would sound mad good...keep it up 7/10
thanx lyrical evaluator. lol. much appreciation.
uppin this puppy..
hit this and i'll hit urs. thanx
peace
nice, decent drop...
although a played topic (specially lately, why? Valentine's day?) you came at it from a different angle, you used tha aspect of love as a thing that connects two people's destiny, something touched upon by philosophers and not hip hop artists, props...
tha vocab and complexity was a lil too much for a piece like this unless you were tryin to make us evision love as a complex being, then it was set where it was...
tha flow was near perfect and that's always a good thing...
overall, nice story and a nice hook that kept me reading, keep droppin...
8 / 10
yo i jus checked this hit out and this shit is ill as fuck. this is some proper shit. props respects to veloci raptor nice 3 verses. When i read them it felt like i was having a nice piss (they were refreshing). any way keep it up, dont get complacent though theres always shit to improve and new ideas to play with keep elevating.
KEEp IT UP ......Waiting for the next
DAMN!!! that was so sweet..
Enjoyable, you must really love ya gurl!
Anyways propz
thanx people. ^yes i love her a lot.
uppin this for sum'more feedback.
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pz
Nice Drop Man. . Although I Believe You Said No One Has Written Anything Like This Before ? Correct Me If I'm Wrong. . But I've Written A Piece Similar To This, Broken Down Into 3 Diffrent Verses And It's Called "Full Circle". . Anyway, This Was Pretty Good Man, Like Pot1ent Said, Complexity Can Be Questioned, You Might Have Over Done What You Were Trying To Get Across. . The Sheer Emotion Of This Piece Kept Me Reading, Awesome Job With The Emotional Aspect Of This. . Structure Was Fucked, But Damn, Solid Flow Man. . This Proves That Fucked Structures Can Still Have Great Flows. . Keep Dropping Man, And I'll Keep Viewing, Pz.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...76#post1168376
^ ^ Check That, Thanks.
Try To Cut Back On The Upping, You Upped This A Lot In The Past 3 Days.