The End

Sitting in the lonesome of dark
Wondering how I got here
Water drips and inmates bark
Losing my mind through my fear
Reduced to an animal and nothing more
For supposed actions that I partook
Watching rats manifest on the floor
Giving me the poorest of looks
And as the darkness consumes me
I'll find light memories in my mind
As piercing gazes cut through thee
My blood begins to flow like wine
Two cold pieces of steel are drove into my hand
Pain is great but mental awareness is key
As I take my mind on a stroll through the sand
I feel the unemotional beings around me
As the mysterious mask floats in the darkness
Something takes me over unknowingly
He rears back his heavy arm with distress
I rip my hands from the shackles that hold me
Uproars ensue, people rush the hill
To get insight or a closer view
To see my revenge of will...



The ground shakes and rips apart
An evil smile spreads upon me
Flames burst through, light turns to dark
I will kill anything that stands before thee
People go mad, attacking their loved ones
True hate on earth finally exists
World religions turn to dust, no more native tongues
This hell on earth is my eternal bliss
I make dead things come to life
And make living things come to death
Give every sinister being a knife
And grasp the life out of anything with breath
To take the throne of misfortune
Is a task to take pride and bask in
I will uphold its stature and portion
But reveal myself in the end
I was once considered a savior
But now I've ended that reign
I am not the son of GOD, never possessed that behavior
I've always had fire in my vein
and everything will die, life and land
I am not the devil but the son of man.

you need two links Chuck

stfu.....ill post links when i get around to it.

LINKS

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...80#post5547780
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...01#post5547801
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...21#post5547921

up, leave links, i will rtf.

ill keep deleting posts and upping this till i get feed :mad:

very simple vocab nothing to complex there but the lyrics had complexity and i like dthat alot you have a very poetic out look and it shines great in your work but you must elivate content as far as wordplay thats your only flaw i think

up,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,leave links

hmmm ..not sure if i clicked the wrong thing, but if this is in open mic i don't think it should be. more poetic to me so i'll comment on it as if you meant it to be poetic. you've done very well here, you expressed some deep feelings and also gave me an idea for a topic when i read this. I see you're getting more into the writing scene, and you seem to be getting better in every aspect. this seemed more like an experiment than an actual project though ..wording was good, some parts too plain and simple though. vocabulary was decent, again sometimes simple, but maybe that's how you meant it? who knows besides you right? the concept was fresh. I've seen topics done on the end of the world or something but never with as much imagrey and emotion as this had. you've done very well for yourself in this piece and I enjoyed the read,

thanks man!

sounds a bit poetic.. its still good though. all the way through you stayed consistant. the imargery was amazing.. a well written piece. very deep piece.

Quote:

---

The ground shakes and rips apart
An evil smile spreads upon me
Flames burst through, light turns to dark
I will kill anything that stands before thee
People go mad, attacking their loved ones
True hate on earth finally exists
World religions turn to dust, no more native tongues
This hell on earth is my eternal bliss
I make dead things come to life
And make living things come to death
Give every sinister being a knife
And grasp the life out of anything with breath
To take the throne of misfortune
Is a task to take pride and bask in
I will uphold its stature and portion
But reveal myself in the end
I was once considered a savior
But now I've ended that reign
I am not the son of GOD, never possessed that behavior
I've always had fire in my vein
and everything will die, life and land
I am not the devil but the son of man.

---

i loved the last verse.. giving sinisters knifes. thats crazy insane. talking about how you'd reveal yourself in the end... it sounded dope. kinda threw me off though. i mean cuz you were talking about how you'd kill every living thing.... either way i still seen your point in it after words..

this lookz more like poetry nah meen but a still a nice piece of wurk tho...your flow wuz on point of course but then at a few tymes i thought u should have put a few more syllable rhymes in there to make it more dope but good shit...7/10 overall...~1~

uppity upp upp

This was a good drop..The flow was creative..and the mutlis were there..I liked the imagery here..It could have used better vocab and shit..but overall this was pretty nice..

Had good concepts i just think you could have executed them better. the vocab was dull and there really wasnt much wordplay at all. More like an abstract poem really. Could be really dope with some work so all I can say is keep doin ya thing.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328932
Drop some love up here^^

One

Poetry Far From Rap, Good Though
Emotional, Creative, And Relative.

BUmp........:/

bumpity bump bump bumpity bump bump over the hill we go.