"Guess Who?"

[vocabz]

VOOCCCAAABBZZZ!!!!

Quick Keystyle...

I saw this open page......... an barged in..to rip apart things
so fuck hope cuz i'm playin jump-rope, wit ya heart strings
Sparks sindge, epidermus layers, of you hella nervous haters
tell ya fella's Vocab is greater, guess ya work'll surface later
I'mma guess ya work is worthless paper an pleather sheeting
mutha-fucka', Cuz I know you 'aint Shit'.. like you've never eaten..
In any weather, beating's, will take place an give you bodily harm
an buckshots'll grab you like the mother fuckin' shotty had arms
turn ya body ta' parm, a piece? you aint got the balls ta' tuck it
man I'll rip ya chicks pussy off..then put in on the wall an fuck it!
Punches, I put em' on ya jaw so 'duck quick' like some speedy birds
the negro empire strikes back over white trash and sleazy herbs
and bet "I leave pussy stretched" is what they'll call this, cuz
im a sick nigga an my dick BIGger than christopher wallace was
plus Leave you deebo'd an gasping, im laughing at the evil you lacking
im in the snipers den, aimin at the temples like the cerebral assasin
i'm at the steeples of passion, a holy self, deceiving the spirits..
spit so much fire my teeth slowly melt from the heat of my lyrics.
Ya'll at the peak of your queer-ness, an ya fuckin standards are silly
an fuck any man I could average 30 a night like the answer in philly
and get rid-a-ya'll like the cancer in phillies!!!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328139

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328199

[Kris Stubbs]

I saw this open page......... an barged in..to rip apart things
so fuck hope cuz i'm playin jump-rope, wit ya heart strings

^great way to start this shit off. Overall not bad man. I liked your overall rhyme scheme. Your wording was great. The topic was eh...but its all good' I think your really gettin better at this man. i want you to keep it up. overall good verse

[Freeney]

Punches, I put em' on ya jaw so 'duck quick' like some speedy birds
the negro empire strikes back over white trash and sleazy herbs

That line jumped out at me for some reason, but i just think its a dope line overall.

This piece isnt as good as your others but it was still decent for a keyed verse. The rhyme scheme was basic overall but it still had bits and pieces of complexity here and there. It flowed pretty good except in some parts your stuff sounded a little forced, learning how to reword will definately help. I see you post a bunch of keystyle stuff which is cool but I would like to see you pick a topic and spend some time on it to make it dope...pz.
hit up The End for me.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328464

[Trema]

homs this piece is ok coz you had some good punches and this made me read it all the way through.

i think its not at its best but your ryhme scheme is good and this was an enjoyable read. Your first two lines stood out the most that was a great opener for this piece. Your vocab was ayt aswel and this made the piece strong. good job,keep it up homie.

[noncentz]

i emjoyed it i am a punchline fan myself and i saw several along with colorful wordplay i liked it alot didnt see bad areas just needs polishing but u got alot of talent feed it