Eternal

Eternal

They left me bleeding on the side of the street
Gasping for air.
Went through the heaven gates
Went to god and started asking where
I could find those guys
He knew, not any surprise

[ Chorus x2 ]

Tupac's soul is eternal, now i'm writing in my journal
His death phased my internal wills, feels like life's infernal
Everyday people get killed, externally burning me
But my soul won't die either, i'm here for eternity

[ Verse 1 ]

I impart my feelings, because they no longer exist
But my heart and soul won't go, i can't even resist
Death beyond me, but i don't really have to care
Even though i'm a ghost, i don't really have to scare
I'm invisable, peering down on people, watching them
Watching the cops pop at thugs, dropping them
Illegal incidents, idiots can't even go through with a robbery
I'm here for eternity, and nobody is stopping me
I'm guiding my loved ones, yet those other bitches can't see
That they never gave me a hand when they could have easily
So i wish terror on them, watch them get torured tonight
See my shadowy face, behind the light, and kill them from fright
And won't show pitty on them either, i won't take a breather
I wan't to be there, so beware, they are in for a scare..


[ Chorus x2 ]

Tupac's soul is eternal, now i'm writing in my journal
His death phased my internal wills, feels like life's infernal
Everyday people get killed, externally burning me
But my soul won't die either, i'm here for eternity

[ Verse 2 ]

I'm here eternally, i know you fuckers heard of me
You guys are little punks, you guys murdered me
I'm here for sweet revenge, i'm here once again
I do this for the streets, certainly not for one of them
Pain is what i'm bringing, hell is something too, literally
These niggas already dieing, are you shittin me
I'm giving what they were giving me, when i was killed
Pain and sorrow, won't live for tommorow, they were bullet filled
Untill their bodies are hallow, stinging them with poison
I love this feeling, it's great, i wan't to destroy them
All i am is filled with hate, let's do some more then
No way to debate, i'll never be filled with bordum
Not even when it's late, let's shatter their bones
Untill they are gone, and their bodies are left alone


[ Chorus x2 ]

Tupac's soul is eternal, now i'm writing in my journal
His death phased my internal wills, feels like life's infernal
Everyday people get killed, externally burning me
But my soul won't die either, i'm here for eternity


And i knew when i was dieing, i knew i would be back
Consequences shown, for every mother fuckers act.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326351
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post5510826

Uppin'

decent pieace but I think you fucked up by mentioning tupac juss let the dead niggaz be ..........besides that ur structure was good the topic was ight...........you ended your song decent ......pretty much on point keep elavating

WOrd to Evil King, about the Tupac shit. The idea was okay. I didn't like the execution though. You just didn't write it in such a way that I really enjoyed it. It felt like a chore, reading this.

thanks for the comments. i was juggling with the idea of mentioning him. but yea thanks and i know not to now. uppin 2

This was a decent piece, I think. I agree with the Pac shit, though. Theres some spots I seen where you fell off a bit. The vocab was decent. The chorus caught my eyes. Keep elevating, though. i'll definitely look forward to reading more.

thanks really appreciated. uppin

Lol word like the others the tupac shit was a "no' no" fam lol, but the story line was okay, but dull as hell you lacked in imagery and emotion department badly, the wording and ryhmes scheme was on point and lanuguage was alright, but Like I said befor this piece lacked a soul, and the chorus was getting anoying and repetative, you should change the chorus every time you drop one and don't drop on more than three times, but in this case 2 choruses was over doing it, because the limited content in your piece, yo can you please hit up my links in my sig fam it'll be well appreciated.

thanks. upp.

Please Return The Favor Leave Quality Feed On This Link.

h nice writing anyway w/e the topic i guess.flowed smoothly , could of maybe been more adventurous with the flow, but it did make for a nice format, so cool,,,,
vocab was decent. could of been more adventurous again i reckon.
had some good expression in there.and some cool rhymes about the place......
could of added a bit more visual imagery and let the rhyme scheme go a bit wilder.but all in all was a neat piece

coo

thanks. upp.

When i first clicked on this thread i thought it would be another horrible om.But you seemed to pove yourself in this om. Flow was perfect with nice concepts.You had some good wordplay a