He'd Never Rest Impressed

He can't articulate to record just a simple tape
Can't bring himself to write about his crippled fate
Not even a little break even though he possesses strength in faith
Looks at the shit he made.. suddenly his visions fade.

He can't spit right, like he broke his tooth
His mind just wanders to that lonesome booth
He'll never be right again, he knows it's true
He's never gonna record something people bump as "The Chronic 2"
Awesome tunes boom throughout his room, as he wails violently
Because he fails to vibe on beats
But in his mind he brings silent heat that could silence streets
His lines defeat the tightest teens
But he can't form them verbally
And that's why he complains that no ones heard of me.. See
A voice appears in this re-occuring dream.
Saying his turn to be
A superb emcee has left its perch, it leaves
And his dreams shatter, but certainly
His concern to breath the culture he embraced
Could fall right through his face!
It's an emergency, a voice of urgency
And mutes his hate of this useless fate.
Then confusion rapes his delusions of greatness
And he pukes, till he's brainless.
Because his music is tainted
The best of the best, but a mute won't be famous

Just a mechanical exercise during my SSNY thing, trying to shape up for a champ match, or something, not sure whats going on for poolb-ers

links
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tomorrow, sawwy!

Soulstice...you have a very unique way of displaying your feelings. Sort of like Ninjah Red...since you cuss in your pieces, it's wierd to see usually. Coo lthough. Anyways, this piece was very simple, but like you said it was just for mehanics practice, so thisa was cool for just messing around a bit. I like the last 4 lines and this seems to fit more into a category of poetry, but this is fine for an OM too I guess. Good job!

-Mariah

Hit this please!
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=325777

This was a real creative peace, very interesting, nice concept...
you had some very good multies, and a very good rhyme scheme
good flow throughout. nice vocab and complexity here and there
and just overall this was a really good peace and i liked it.
My fav. lines were.

His concern to breath the culture he embraced
Could fall right through his face!
It's an emergency, a voice of urgency
And mutes his hate of this useless fate.
Then confusion rapes his delusions of greatness
And he pukes, till he's brainless.
Because his music is tainted
The best of the best, but a mute won't be famous


^ that was the best of the peice.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...94#post5488794

Short and sweet, I really did like this, you had a good flow and none of the lines seemed forced, your vocab was nice and i could understand it at all parts so it was easy to read, your structre could've been better but was readable, your emotion stood out alot and kept me reading, good piece man...keep up...hope to see more.

I like your style of expressing yourself you're structure at first sight look of an in experianced writter, yet when read your imagery and emotion comes as one and flow so fluently, your wording is top notch nothing seems out of place, you kept me interested and thats what all matters to me, this is a 8.5/10 I wish it could've been a bit longer, but good drop never the less.

ok ive read this b4. this was a g=really great peice. the rhymeskeme u used was great. simple but complex at the same time. some with alot of syllables and some with less the vocab was there didnt flow all through the peice. but it mad it presence shown. i told u that the emotion of the topic was great it seem almost real like took from a heart felt experiance...really a great peice soul...

RTF

thnx

The flow in this was great...the topic was tackled well...
stay up...