Childhood Memories

Childhood, not thinking about girls or bling yet
Times when the swing set was the best thing yet
Having fun causing mischief around the nieghborhood
Other kids, they were good.. I was off not doing things I should
Breaking rules, skipping school, it was all fun and games
Toy guns and things, soon I'd have to adjust to change
Good friends moved away, now I look back with envy
Didn't get upset when friends left me, I had plenty
And as I grew older my hormones started to show
My interest in girls had grown, it started off slow
Soon I got a girlfriend, I quickly fell deeply in love
The relationship lasted one week, she only gave me a hug
^ Now I look back in laughter, it was a short relationship..
But I got over it faster
I was a stronger person after, it was as fun as it seemed
But now all I can do is sit back and reminisce of my childhood dreams

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=322257
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=321996

well...nice idea and concepts...but u could have pulled it off better. Multis were decent but the flow was slightly off in one or two places...not bad...just could be better...the imagery was decent...

Favorite Bar:
"Good friends moved away, now I look back with envy
Didn't get upset when friends left me, I had plenty"

^not really captivating but its very relatable...i liked that

overall: 7/10 Stay Up

felt you could've captured the moments alot better. decent vocab and a decent scheme, but overall, i thought it coulda been better

The scheme was kool...My style...

But I felt you could've done more with the topic...Not much detail and ish...Not too much emotion diff lines read differently to me...Sometimes is just seemed as if you were putting in words to rhyme and it was just blah wording...

Quote:

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Soon I got a girlfriend, I quickly fell deeply in love
The relationship lasted one week, she only gave me a hug

---

The last part was just Eww...it seemed liuke you just wanted it to rhyme...I get what you were saying but it just seemed elementary the way you said it...

Don't get me wrong I saw some light in this...I really enjoryed these lines

Quote:

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Good friends moved away, now I look back with envy
Didn't get upset when friends left me, I had plenty
...
^ Now I look back in laughter, it was a short relationship..
But I got over it faster

---

Short piece...Not much else to feed on

haha yeah.. i wrote it in like 5 mins when i got really bored today

one of da best i've read so far

i really like this piece..only i wish it was more lyrical..but other than that i enjoyed reading this..pretty dope man...keep it poppin

da peice waz good

Could you return the favor on this battle...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=322451

It was a cool keystyle could have been a lil longer but i got the point of the subject, ~OnE~

You had a decent concept to this piece. the structure was also decent. but in this piece it showed some okay imagry, it flowed pretty good. but would've been better if you kept on going. keep droping science