"I Miss You"

Forgotten Love, As I've Envyed Her Love The Most..
...Sharpened Quill, To Write How Far Love... Was So Close..
So Far Away, We have Pardoned..And Hatred Grows..
...As God As My Witness, I've Missed You....
Then Yet Again....He's The Only One Who Knows..
...For I Have Missed You, Because We Don't Talk No More
...Said You'd Never Leave, So What Are You Running For?..
..I've Given You My Love, So Theres Nothing Else To Do..
..Except For 3 Words..That'll You'll Never Understand..I Miss You.


Missed Laughters, As The Shadow Goes Down On Me
Because I Was Such A Fool, As I Didn't Envy..
May God Sin Me, Because I've Lost A Perfect Person
...God Take Away My Good Luck, For I'm Cursed In..



Times Past, As Time, Is The Only Ones..Willows..
...God Can't Help Me..Broken Heart...He Can't Fix Those..
I've Missed Your Luxerious Touch, Your Eyes...
You Must Hate Me, Because I Have Despised...
For Your Love, I'll Climb A Thousand Mountains..
..Or Just Even A Picture..Your Beauty Is Mounted In..
I'll Pass Through Many Valleys..Many Lands....
..I Can't Promise Anything..But I've Tried What I Can.
For You, And Only You, I've Missed The Most..
Slipping Away..Because No Matter What..I'll Never Get That Close..



Missed Laughters, As The Shadow Goes Down On Me
Because I Was Such A Fool, As I Didn't Envy..
May God Sin Me, Because I've Lost A Perfect Person
...God Take Away My Good Luck, For I'm Cursed In..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...92#post5379992

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02#post5380002

Any Feed?
Plzz..
Itz not That Bad Is It?

this was an alright drop, i felt it was very simple.. and the topic done over and over again but i enjoyed it for the most part.. biggest thing i would do i up the vocab, just a bit and try to give your piece a more complex story line, nice work, rtf on spirit skies please, peace.

Thnx.

Um..

Any more feed?

Where ya nigz at.

This was an aightish drop, nothing you or no one else has not done before...i dound the rhyming to be pretty aight and i read through most of it without any major major problem. I'd advise you to use or abuse imagery nmore as it can really add that 4th dimension to a piece. Overall, this wasn't bad but can be much better. Stay up^.

This was alright the topic itself was so cliche, but like i said in west ish the topic is just a gemick its the content that hold the readers attention, the story line was alright but could've used more imagery, the emotion in this peace was good, but the imagery wasn't all that at all, your wording seemed a bit clutered and like I say even a shitty om can look nice if its organised and everything is where it should be ya digg, your emotion helped set the atmosphere, but it felt kind've bland towards the end you kind've failed to hold my attention, but keep writting. 6.5/10 due to wording and lack of imagery and cliche vocab and title didn't really capture my attention.

Quote:

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So Far Away, We have Pardoned..And Hatred Grows..
...As God As My Witness, I've Missed You....

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That part is an example of what I mean by being organized0.

leave honest feed on my links thankyou.