Never Ending Cycle [SS Ish]

Never Ending Cycle

The Story Of My Life

Bonnie
"Remember Nov. 28th, 2004? could
hardly wait. What smiles rose, thorns
surprised our fate, the tears i've cried
from then to date, but still i stay, hopes
ways would go, my heart won't closed
still space to grow, through foes to hoes
I chose to change, for you should know
my lonely days."

"One of those terrible moments when the wheel of passion
stands suddenly still"
-Bulwer Lytton.

Soul mates, broken down, such depressing positions
Messages pending, no answer, all that's left is suspicion
Blessings were given, hidden disguise, questioning endings
Sense a change in time<---what they never were spending
Seems the bed was the predator, friends spying to better her
Bria<-->Tia<-->Camira<-->Nita<-->Nisha<--> etc,...


"The flying rumors gather'd as they roll'd scarce any tale was sooner heard than told and all who told it added something new, and all who heard it made enlargement too, in every ear it spread, on every tongue it grew.
-Pope.


Talk was open, chosen over when rumors closen
All loosely spoken, the things we lose for you to hold in
The tool to focus, clouded vision, from pupils soakened
Concluded closure, through petiness in deluded moments
Such views to omitt, much lies in truth, but usually potent
Rudeness aloathing, safe position, when proof is broken

"Yey there is one more cursed than them all, that canker-worm, that monser, jealousy, which eats the heart and feeds upon the gall, turning all loves's delight to misery, through fear of losing his felicity. Ah, gods! that ever ye that monster placed in gentle love, that all his joys defaced!"
-Spenser.


Clyde
"Remember Nov. 28th, 2004? could hardly
wait, what boudful joy brought grugde in
hate, no soul alive could take your place, the
countless stuggles from then to date, but still
I stay to prove my case. The lies expressed
I must admit, the peace that puzzles barely
fits, I lied and cheated, can't deny, but reasons
not to see you cry. You in parts i don't deserve,
but you as whole, for that's my word, we're
not the same must I differ, temptation falls
to tempt my urge, believe in me, it's just a phase
for you should know my past and ways."

"It's not the first time i've laid waste to our relationship, for all you know is not all you know, some mistakes from lust, but more to regret, your friends are not your friends believe, your friends the one that came to me, but place blame elsewhere, on me indeed, im sorry again, and again im sorry, 2 years of tears have left you weary, i'll take my leave for times are eerie, so once again this time will stalk for i've loss out on love......and still its my fault."
-Clyde aka Xtreme Malice

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319524
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319564

ups.

I'm Feelin Some of Your Beats Man!!

im wondering where that's relavent to feeding on my piece?

First of all,...Why are people sleepin' on this ? Are you like an outcast ?
Lol.

This was dope. Dope indeed. I like how you incorporated the quotes and such into the piece and the repetitive bar that was narrated was nice too. You had good flow and Multies poured across the piece making it an excellent, smooth read. The vocab was up to par, overhanded by the Imagery. Despite the good wordplay, you still had room to keep the piece with a good emotional feel. The meta's were here and there but could have been more plentiful. Without a doubt my favorite portion of this...

Quote:

---

Soul mates, broken down, such depressing positions
Messages pending, no answer, all that's left is suspicion
Blessings were given, hidden disguise, questioning endings
Sense a change in time<---what they never were spending
Seems the bed was the predator, friends spying to better her
Bria<-->Tia<-->Camira<-->Nita<-->Nisha<--> etc,...

---

Damn. Risky using the names at the end but it were beautifully.
Alot of people use that rhyme scheme and just burn it out saying things that don't exactly mean anything aside one another but you managed to astray from that and keep it refreshingly comprehensible and clear.
Overall, Excellent drop man. Keep up.

And when you get a chance, check out Pay It Forward in my Sig. Thanks.

Quote:

---

BiLLY GuNNa : I'm Feelin Some of Your Beats Man!!

---

ROFL, Is this how we are started, or what we all are doomed to ? Lol.

thanx for the feed and i'll check it out now lol and yeah thas how we all started...but how it'll end is indeed inevitable

ups.

rise.

rise.

nice that was some dope ish man keep it up dont sleep on this people

OI . I say this is SS ish.............. thasts my phrase....lolz



this piece=

nice format....... had plentuy of explicitness which i always like.......
multies was in check f'sho.so proips on that ish........... internal rhyming was also popoloppin f'sho which kept the flow Banging.....
imagery was in the face........ wordplay was ^word...... I probaly wouldnt have gone for the extra addage of the non-rhyming/ non-flowing parts. i mean the part when you sort of breaking it down but w/e... nice writing X


1


n yeah check this if you get time

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=321559