The Impossible Granted

http://hugo-sb.way-nifty.com/hugo_sb/images/touch.jpg

They said it wasn't possible but I performed the unstoppable,
The way the muscular distrophy distributes to the probable,
I'm wishing that they took it as a step towards the future,
Me in my basement performing transfusions and flesh sutures,
Frankenstein ethics but not creating a manical being like that,
Commercials interrupted that show, so I guess I'll be right back,
Feeling similar to cereal when the sauntering goes "snap, crack!"
I wonder what kind of personality my creation will possess?
Wait a second, it's basically a replication of me nevertheless,
So why am I putting on so much stress? Putting physical limits to the test?
My insanity tells me I'm the best, but my sane membrane tells me give it a rest.
The thoughts of a companion I undress, because this is better than life,
Creating something and playing God, giving it feeling, movement and sight,
I can't help but excite the common statement that I'm a genius,
Growing up I wasn't the meanest, not the best dressed or the cleanest,
But I'm pass that now, my way to fortune and virtue is all right here,
Between the half-eaten munchies and my Coors light beer,
The end is near, I feel it pulsating through my veins,
It's not the light at the end of the carpel tunnel, but just light pains,
My life is limited, but I'll have someone to love without a pick-up line,
With all the jocks, jerks, and jargon aside, it is finally my time,
The light is lime, the time is prime when I give it one last spark,
The creature I've created possesses eyes of dark, it gives a bark,
"Huh?"
Maybe that's just a side-effect of the whole ordeal,
The creature gets up, okay, that's a pretty good deal,
"No!"
It falls on all fours and pants nonstop,
It's head spins around like it wants to pop,
I lean down eye-level and look at this disgrace,
It's tongue wags out and tries to lick my face!
"No!" I was supposed to have a woman to love me, you know?
Well, I guess sometimes things don't go the way you want them to go,

So I die off, without a humane creation,
These bodies still tango without separation.

Linkage Edit Post

Mindless: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318500

Mazerka: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318269

Atticus: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318615

This was a pretty nice piece. The syllable count kinda threw me off a few times and I believe was the main flaw in it. Just how it was high...Then all of the sudden, low. Lol. Other than that, I was kinda feelin' it. The vocab. was straight and it's obvious you didn't force it. I believe you lacked in the internals a bit, which took away from the piece but had great Imagery which compensated for that. Some wordings were a little bit strange but that was minor. The title was good and the piece followed through.

Quote:

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They said it wasn't possible but I performed the unstoppable,
The way the muscular distrophy distributes to the probable,
I'm wishing that they took it as a step towards the future,
Me in my basement performing transfusions and flesh sutures,

---

Overall, good drop. Keep up.

Eh, this wasn't really to your standard man. Content wise, and conceptually, it was a typical Exact piece, so I was getting hyped for it at first after I saw that picture- but, this just wasn't up to par. The meter was so stop and go, that there was never any true fluency within the content. Then you had lines like, 'cereal - snap, crack' and I read that with a complete 'wtf' question mark on my head. I don't know, I was just so bummed by this, because of how excited I got by the overall look about it. I don't know, just not my favorite piece by you man, sorry.

If you could,
This is George.

Yeah, I know, man. It was just one of those, "you know what, I wanna write today," things and I just went with it. I know I'm not very good rhythm and flow wise, and I wanted exercise that.

Sorry about it.

I don't know man, I don't think it's fair to say this isn't your best because I think it kind of chronicles the process of that new step for you; like headshots was to atmosphere. And I like the unpolished, experimental practice aspect of it. The stop and go flow actually added to your advantage here. If it was smooth all the way through much would have been overlooked, but since the choppyness gave you some breif interludes in themselves, it let the reader reflect shortly before going on and let the words sink deeper. I don't think atticus got the cereal line, lol. The carpel tunel part was a nice play. Your vocab is always fresh and original too. So I guess just continue working on that flow situation, but don't discredit your personal quirks man.

Eh, thanks.

C'mon. . .

feeeeeddd.

once more.

it was definetly lyrical, but that is all i can say not my type of music, I was feeling it though or i would not even reply, i want to collab with you on some civil war shit 2006, get back with me.

in the meantime show me love http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319237