Sitting by the Dock of the Bay..(SS ish)

Sitting by the Dock of the Bay…

Lounging beside the docks watching my wristwatch as time ticks by
Playing tricks on my eyes and mind wondering why….
A thundering sky spits acidic droplets on my soon-to-be carcass
Seemingly doomed in this darkness; assumed a callous bastard…
My face plastered by plasma spillages shed in towns and villages
Daggers drew from sheaths; I slew chiefs, and found brazen mages
On false Altars supported by sons plus daughters from devilish men -/
Women condemned swimming in bloody waters of feverish yen
I rendered the Gen of a green generation to a sure subjugation
Instigation caused irritation to the Daimyo of the days in question
Drove by the Shogun - I strove to open up hearts with a Bokken…
Groping an urge to hurt hordes, my swords reputations’ unbroken.

Lost in these dreamless dreams
Accosting with meaningless means
Fighting defenceless defences
Smiting sickened senseless senses.


Auspicious in this war, the art of the trenches is raw…
So intense its - furore now commences galore
More the merrier, musing mutilations of torsos
Troopers rolled - communicating with Morse codes
A killer once a poet, - I still slept on my own prose
Until I wrote odes depicting the death of those foes
Then rose in the rankings amid political siblings
Yet amid this hierarchy now grew indifference…
Faced by mad martyrs surged with samurai valour
I served the Kings offspring “death before dishonour”
Then swore I’d diminish the breath of your Emperor
Kissed the Princess, left wet in the cleft of her chamber
Peers wept as their best kept secret slept with danger
Deluded secluded from the sect, now I crept as a Ninja…
…Leaving limbless limbs… such grimness lingers…
Dynasties’ - crushed by the nimbleness of my fingers.

I vanish into lightless light
Vainly vanquish each lifeless life
In sinless sin - I sink all kinless kin…
Just to gain another winless win.


I became mystical holding futuristic knowledge at my fingertips
Planting digital devices to sacrifice life, then fled as a fugitive
Looting was lucrative, so I stacked the booty in safety houses
The future Empress now holds my seed, her beauty douses…
Entices my sublime state to bleed emotive traits, I leave trails
Since snakes - tail the smell of my-self covered in brief hell
Discovering the weak fail as I eat slugs and snails for breakfast
Trusting not in cousins, knowing trust just impales the reckless
Facing dusk - I’ll not rest in dust till this world is speck-less…
Lacing lust on sordid sluts in the shape of a pearl necklace
Shaken and restless – I left what seems half a nation headless
Then suddenly arrows of spite hit me - splicing my arteries…
Might meet my maker, yet I partially survive in royal ovaries.

Sitting by the dock of the bay:
Watching my blood drain… - away
I tour time, emerging at signs of war…
Endless soul of a warrior defines uproar.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312665
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314701

uuuuuuhmmmmmmmmmmmmm

cough

spew


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............................ ...................
.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......................... .

Illness man. ya flow was CRAZY on this i like how it kinda switched with each verse. morbid but an excellent drop regardless. i like how u kept to the ninja theme the entire time. it was excellent story telling cuz i could imagine this lone ninja leaving a wake of destruction in his path. and our hero the ninja dies perfectly at the end good ish man excellent. 9/10

Honestly, You had a good flow, but most of it seemed to filler . . . You have madd potential, it was a straight peice for what it was worth, a lot of it didn't make sense towards the topic . . .

You don't need massive vocabulary to write a dope peice, a lot of it seemed as if you just used unneeded synonyms for words that could of been a lot more simple and still put the point across .

Keep writing .

Excellence man. This was a really good piece, and well worth my time reading. The vocab was good and didn't seemed too forced either. The transitions were smooth esp. during the first verse. I liked the little stanzas in red inbetween your verses, it brought a poetic feel towards into the piece. You imagery was great and flow was good continually throughout. I'd quote a couple of bars that stood out to me but to be honest, I'd do too much quoting. Lol. The theme was kept about and the flashback from the current was nice. Overall, great piece, to me, worth nomination. Keep up.

nice drop man....i was really drawn in to this piece because the imagery was so defined ya know...very good vocab usage and your concept was somewhat original...i liked the way you wrote it as well ...nice internals here and there but some lines were a little off in the piece but it didnt really affect the read that much...i was really suprised after reading this because it kind of caught me off guard....but now that i know your capabilities i will be expecting more and better from you in the futuer....stay up...yo hit my topical battle in my sig plz...thanks

this was a great piece... i honestly don't get you though, and i feel like there's a chance this could have been bit. you talk like such an herb everywhere, yet when you post everything is high quality and intellectual. to an extent i'd figure on a writers language on the boards differing from that of his piece, but yours is to such an extreme that something seems very off. but, regardless, this was a great piece. the flow was very strong and the word placement/diction was very thoughtful and strong. just a very fluent piece in both meter and contectually. there really wasn't anything i could complain about. nice job.

yeah thanks for the lookout folks..ill check your pieces or battle .tommorrow.n give an honest 1 on that


aticus?.bit..lol..... n i just talk shit online sometimes if i'm bored.and somnetimes the beef gets out of hand.but i find it funny all the same




hence i been writing for more than a minute so
peace


1

i honestly have no clue what you just said to me

... and that's what makes me supsicious.

Damn good piece homie, i was really feeling the word choice you had in this, it flowed so well with your imagry and emotion for example:

A thundering sky spits acidic droplets on my soon-to-be carcass
Seemingly doomed in this darkness; assumed a callous bastard…

now those line were just amazing, very impressed by this drop *wonders if you won your battle in SS* and your vocabulary was very impressive not too complex but enough for recognition props on this drop i don't have much to critique just impressed

RTF to one of my drops in my sig i'll be posting a new one shortly

yeah safe xt. did win that round but due to other dude not showing


well atticus i ddint say anything too complicated in the above quote you slated.and i refered to you saying i bit by quoting the word "bit".anyway the more you misunderstand me the better i reckon.so swizzle ma nizzle ya nah mean


ha