Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

Naomi Rose Edersole
Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.

My mind uneven, entwined between saints and daemons
Fate was to get even, left without a faith to believe in
God erased my semen, in 1997 he bullied my respect
My son was born, then all at once his soul stole from his flesh
I’m faced with neglect, for 9 years my tears have been collected
I want to pay each drop back with blood, maybe then ill be respected.

Anna Mae Stoltzfus
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.

Ill target young innocent lives, packing 3 clips and 2 knives
Depriving husband and wives just like me of their child
As mild periods of sickness coincide my wickedness to slaughter
Molested dreams of girls screams see me seeking deaths of young daughters
It’s a quarter to 11, as I wipe the sweat, a physical threat of my feelings
I enter the gates, silhouetting a cross on my chest of so many meanings

Marian Fisher
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.

Heavy breaths adopt my chest as I confess the lord my allergy
“Imagine if I took Jesus Christ away from your family”
I rampantly take the clip of safety, shamelessly disturbing the sound
Releasing rounds < coincidently what goes round, comes back around
I found myself a stealth, felt cold as I shot one directly in the face
But mentally followed the bullet within, confronting God at the gates
I tasted payback, laidback and wrote my notes devoted to my loves
As the smoke from the barrel reached my soles arm as they floated above

Mary Liz Miller
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.

The rooms silence corrupted as police sirens interrupted my scars
Now calm I move the gun tip up between the lips with my palms
I’m prepared, unscarred as I seal my fate with a pull of the weapon
I can be the farther I never was, and confess to our farther in heaven.

Lina Miller
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.


Amen.

R.I.P to the 5 Girls shot and killed by the Amish School Shooter. 04/10/06

Damn dude I really liked it. It was a moving tribute and really well written. You never let me down, I know that I'm guaranteed a good read when I go into one of your threads. But yea, you had a really good flow in this peice, it just rolled off the tongue. Your rhyme scheme was top notch. This peice really kept me intrigued, and you did well to express the full horror of this incident. The Lord's prayer at the side, with each part being said be a different vicimt of the attack was a really imaginative little addition. This was really nice peice dude, as usual lol. Peace

You need to links or this will be closed K.

ight my bad ive hit nique and the witness...we coo oh god above?


bounce

A pretty good piece...the use of the victims names and our father prayer at the side was clever and gave a mysterious or eery vibe/atmosphere to the whole piece. The characters verses were good sometimes i felt the flow change and all but nothing major. I liked how did a soliliquay type of thing with the maish shooter, it gave the piece more sense of realism however, i felt a sense of passivity to this piece. As if the character was passive of his crimes or standing afar as a bystander watching...i don't know if you went for that effect but that's how it came off to me. Overall, it was a good and fluid read.

If posible, i'd appreciate some critique on my piece, "Loose shillings for"
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311797

nice idea hate the execution... it's a good text verse... and that's all I can really say... well that and nice read...

Thanks.

werd deep subject. you are topical sex god. i need to start this so i can write as dope as you.lol

It's awkward you did a piece on this, cause' I can really relate to it seeing as though that shooting was only done about 5 minutes down the road from where I live (over-exaggeration, but it is close).

The content of this was really nice.. I've never known you to be a topical/om writer, i'm only really informed of your Audio, but this makes me want to read a little more. The piece by piece after lines of the prayer was a really unique way to do this. It really brought out the fact that you were dedicating this piece and not just saying "Oh rest it piece you 5, it was horrible what he did"..

The emotion you put into this piece was very well thought out, felt like it was from the heart and not just something that you could write about for shits n' giggles.

^ That right there was the part that stood out the most to me in this piece, everything else was good but, I don't feel as if I need to break it down because it's all pretty much been said..

BUT one correction, and correct me if i'm wrong please, but I do believe your writing about the shooting that just happened last week? It was an amish school in Lancaster P.A. and it was not in March. If there was a shooting that I missed, i'm sorry for my ignorance but, there was a shooting around here where he shot 8 girls and killed 5, then he shot himself in the head. But that was the only thing I wanted to contradict.. cause' it happened on 10/2/06.. But as I said, correct me if i'm wrong cause' that does happen.

pz.

thats the one, in england we do the date differently, oh and check omhof 11x mate

thanks

Bounce!

haha, you had some dope emotion here, which if you didnt have, i wouldve voted against you given the sensitivity of this piece.. the mechanics were on point as well.. the flow was consistant, with a few inners here or there. vocabulary, though not incredible, was appropriate for the piece.. not executed legendarily, but of course it was crisp as fuck.. excellent return to Open Mic....etry.. or something

no go vote on the battle i told you to vteon in SS... my ss battle... its too close o not get another vote>

good to no i still have abit of a clue here...i will be hw ss this season tho.Period.

Very Deep man...Good peice..What made it great was the flow, the flow was non-stop and off the chain...You did a good job at capturing the real emotion of all this...I like to see OM's that really mean somthin and are about a topic of real issues...I couldent really relate to this topic, i diddent know much about the real shooting but it was still a great OM...Good idea on the side talkling thing, that really enhanced the feeling

coo