She

She

The only rose in dandelions, I'm blessed you can be mine
I've had savage times confessing, like a stranded mime
I've landed a queen, your a beauty I'm plannin' to keep
So amazing, very patient & "out standing" for me (outstanding)
We've been lonely for weeks, you're whom I solely would speak
Every moment we'd meet, my love would slowly increase
I glance at your lovely eyes and there's sun inside
For one kiss, one hug...I'd stand & fight a hundred guys
Our love's a skyscraper, it's always buildin' up
& you don't need to look, to see you're a million bucks
Boo your gorgeous, right now our vibe's enormous
You change your look so often, you think'd I'm a tourist
And I don't say lies, your smile clears gray skies
You're so attractive she'd get stares from gay guys
I aint alarmin' you, there won't be harm to you
I'll stay by your side, & be your armor too
Your my angel, with that halo way above you
This is my elaborate scheme, to say I love you


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305393
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303832
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305504

this was ok I would suggest you use better vocab in you work though for future reference (my opinion) but overall this was a solid drop not many complaints topic is played but you made it seem like new with the usage of phrases terms cleverly like :I've landed a queen, your a beauty I'm plannin' to keep
So amazing, very patient & "out standing" for me (outstanding) good job man keep this work up!

Pretty coo drop fam, Keep it up.

Uppin'

The top shit was the best man -- Bottom I felt u lost ur momentum but overall nice work! Your improving keep it up.

Quote:

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I glance at your lovely eyes and there's sun inside
For one kiss, one hug...I'd stand & fight a hundred guys

---

BRAAP lmfao really nice peice man u had every needed to make this dope...very few flaws....i think you couldve prolly worked on your flow it was off at some points but stayed up for most of the peiece...multies were on point they were fuckin dope man..not to creative tho its a played topic but i do it to so i cant sayin nothin lol..but i can fully relate to this drop man...and if u could i would like some feed on my oms if u have enough time..good job keep up man...

very common topic at the moment
your flow was alrite, as was your structure
your rhymin was gd but simple
ur vocab was basic also

fave part:
The only rose in dandelions, I'm blessed you can be mine
I've had savage times confessing, like a stranded mime

Since this is a very common topic at the moment, you need to try and bring in brilliant strong features such as emotion, imagery, and strong rhymin

keep tryn, ull get stronger

I like how everyone has picked out different favourite lines

Thnx

Uppin'

^^^^
Uppin' 3