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He Flew Over Reaction
Assimilate my simple fate, shards of a hopeless timeline
Discard my will and destiny, if I ever hope to find mine!
The white line between postmortem and a daytime; crossed
Toxic dreams- further distorting my abating thoughts
Escort me to where babies rot, in the hellfires of stupefaction
My origin seeks the remedy yet their desires pursue madness
Acute sadness is the by-product of architecht's fornication
As well as my morbid fragrance and sordid hatred for life
No PhD can explain my strife, it's my enemy, but still
God must admit my Lady Destiny got fucked on the hill
Raped and beaten, never tamed by any on my family tree
I'm ashamed, who knows where this insanity leads
Profanity seed, an offshoot of Dead Reverie and Broken
Riding bikes with other tikes, left my memories hopeless
Could I've chose this?
My beautiful future caught in the headlights of a truck
It's almost as though God sent mine to get fucked!
Searching for the attrition that might fit in my fixture
My lament, it was not my decision to live as a prisoner
Now I'm on a different world, with no mobility function
Spent ten enternities ensnared in a chivalrous junction
I'm missing instructions, will I ever play football again
Mother says "Don't cry honey, its only a broken leg"
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God, ma it hurts
Are we in church?
no, ma, but ever since that damn truck hit me, i've been in intense pain
This people are experts, dont worry
who are they?
Doctor Brannigan and his nurses
Who?
He's a hospital doctor
Oh my god, the doctors are hostile! Sharpen this pencil, ma, theres more to complain about!
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good shit bruh, really I'm liking this much. Great job, you really shined on this, and IMO this is you in better form. I liked the set up, the complexity without awkward word choices, this was a good expample of diction/vocab used correctly. I'm not going to get on the minor shit here, as there were some issues, but dude overall you made for one heck of a read. I loved the nice concise ending and the metaphors splashed about, good balance. Serious signs of elevation here, and pulling away from the paclk of writters that sit stagnant along the line between getting there and dope. sorry for the sleep on this, but even my peices are catching sleep now days. I get like 457903485834 views but like 2 replies. lol. This was good man, I'm liking the concept and style used here. I can see your getting experimental with schemes, that worked here. Keep up the elevation man, it's showing through on this peice.
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yeah .liked the smooth flow. vocab was crisp. wording was 1......... had sum dope gory imagery/ special effects.ha.......
GOOD fucking dose of aggressive emotion also injected into the joint f'sho........yeah you went deep within the lines and got lost in the zone for real......... was illy expressed and stasyed true to form. yeah so was felt..........
yeah maybe we can do a lilcollab soon if u want
check out my latest joint if u can
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305206
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ill hit it up tomorrow
thanks both
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Very witty.
This is how it went, i started reading, i liked the flow and vocab a lot but was a huge mess, you pulled off the vocab thing. theres nothing i hate worse then someone who uses tons of vocab just because. but u pulled it off, then i was more confused, then it made sense, and finally it was dope. Get it? holla @ ya boy
7/10
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Great peice Soul,
The wordplay came very strong on this OM. I liked it alot. The flow was incredibley well done. The creativty was had alot of Heart written all over it. and the Imagenary was plain out Incredible. The Story plot was wonderul, and I enjoyed reading this peice man. Never stop writing. 10-10. Please RTF on my new peice "Voices. Murder. Caught. A Muder Story".
