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Gorgan's Eye
Gorgan's Eye
So as the night goes by,and a color of dirt & pale dust
mysteriously trials thus,the feeling that it's failed us
in which the shackles had held us,I fall in all horrid
orbits,to switch the position,as it plays small foward
on circumstancial evidence,I remain to stare in Gorgan's Eye
decaying my spirit,as if there is a oblivian power stored inside
I gasp as I'm horrified,my red eye,blood shot and cocked wide
Asassin's Creed,grasped the greed,and forumlated Carbon Dioxide
a prefix as of now the structure ran well through my veins
only to soon be dissolved,along with the rest of my remains
the differences between the visions,and certain dislikings
mind of a viking,barberric,cleared the eye as if it was visine
a sanken grudge of the harbored intention of a ruthless thug
moral of the story was only boosting up,and recousting love
as arguements of lfe in a longer and more intense dispute
looking towards life at a right angle,that seemed to be acute
casting the spell as the grisly glare,slashed through as a hyphen
information grew specific,and even the shadow felt enlightened
the expense of life only showed he couldn't afford to die
only a simple prespective,thats viewed by Gorgan's Eye
ahmen.
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wow good piece. The emotion was good, the imagery was good, the flow was great and so was the vocab and rhyming. I liked the originality of this piece, and even though it was somewhat short, it told a story well, and didn't leave much to be desired. Overall this was a tight drop, not many bad things I can say about it.
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This was quite good, there were some flaws in it and stuff that i've done a lot of times myself. e.g. certain areas were overdone with vocab. Though i did like it nontheless. The descriptive and eomtive words used were good and got the reader more attentive to the piece. the middle of the piece flew with some good imagery but the ending could have had a more exclusive rhyming cause die and eye are rhymed to often by too many...you could've substituted die for dye..but alas it doesn't mean much now. Overall, i liked this, a good short read...Stay up
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thanx alot guyz appreciat the feed
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uppin I know I left links in pieces I left feed in =/
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WTF where are the like 5 people I left a link along with good feedback @?
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This was a nice piece here man. I really liked the concept/idea you've created and the emotion in this verse was very well express. The character you've showed its true feelings. Ok the Flow of this piece was good also, I liked the multi's in the ffirst half and you slowed it down toward the ending. You used vocabualry which were good and very well used. The narrator you've picked for this particular piece was good, glad you used it. Overall this was a good piece man.
I got a new OM in sig its called "Dandelions Blue's". Please return the favor by leaving a feedback on it. Thanks.
