Courtroom

Courtroom

http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/6000/6024/courtroom_1_lg.gif

Walking through the wooden doors, taking what feels like my last breath,
Of freedom, My hearts depth shows how I feel about the remark of death,
Murder in the first degree, what was I suppose to do, he tried to kill family,
But my victory was only a downfall, I hold the chance of the death penalty,

Perspirating furiously...

I take my seat, feeling the hot air from the breath of the people behind me,
I look up at the judge, it wasn't hard to see, he glanced at me nonchalantly,
The prosecutor gets up, makes his way over to the jury, speaking redundantly,
He fixes his hair piece, and then looks over to acknowledge the vast publicity,

The Jury looks on peevishly...

The trial starts, the witnesses start to walk to the stand following the chart,
Let the trial begin, the gavel strikes the wood like steel falling onto asphalt,
A woman with a scarf, looks me in the eyes, she's quiet, maybe an alliance,
She gets up to the stand still quiet, the room sighs to her noncompliance,
I plead the fifth she yells, and when she said that, my heart literally fell,
The court fell totally silent, it shot through the room like church bells,

The next witness is up...

This one looks at me with pure hatred, it felt like his eyes were from Satan,
He spoke about the night in question, and said I did it, no need for protestin',
Objection, these allegations are proposterous, where is all of the evidence,
The Judge says, to what we know as of now, his story does have relevance,

Trial is over...

The jury has reached a verdict, guilty on all charges, I become convicted,
...I sit in jail thinking, about what that day in the courtoom depicted...

Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302567
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302810

......hmmmm........

your style is amazingly similar to some of mines, meh...wateva tho good drop, some solid vocabulary in there but kinda basic, not really impressive on the word choice, structure was good, short'n your lines tho you don't have to explain everything to express a complete thought and you was basically explaining everything in every line you must draw the reader to your next line keep them wanting more other then that homie good drop

Thanx for the critiscm. I'll work on it.

an alright drop with a few minor flaws couldve imrpoved on alot
this was a very creative but played drop at the same time cause alot of ppl write on this exact topic and yours didnt stand out so much your flow was off at times but not alot u kept up the vocab for the whole drop but lacked in multies for alot of lines
strutre was alright i dont digg that kinda style but if thats how u write not much i can say certainly not your best but pretty good and im hoping to read more from you soon just try to make your drops more complex and u dont need alot of big words to have a dope drop keep up homie

thanx for the feed. uppin this.