Thoughts Of A Gangsta

so dark & deep and as i roll thru these streets
alot of niggas talk, but they afraid to bust there heat
take a seat, listen to my mind, cock back my nine
if u got it & i want it, ima make it mine, fo' sho
respect to da lord iz da reason i aint a G no more
u cant run from me, afta da chase i'll leave ya feet all sore
make ya mom into a whore, ima lyrical demon
make ya mom hold my dick & ya sister swallow my semen
it aint much to a G if ya wanna have beef, then its on homie
i'll break u off all on my lonely, 187 out, i think they saw me
im creepin thru da valley of da dark, clear my eyes, im at a park
a gadget in my hand wit a safety a barrel & a 9 bullet clip
and for sum reason when i pull it out pussy niggas tend to flip
ur bitch in my tub takin a dip, then she on my bed, im offering her a drink
sum hennesy in a cup & she starts to sip, we have a moment of silence
then da cops wanna disrespect me with all there loud sirens
i go into my closet pull out my mossberg shotty
my bulletproof vest custom made to perfectly fit my body
take a puff of da 'dro and take a final sip of bacardi
bullets fly around like a Downtown jamican party
my bars are wicked, & wit da flow im sick wit it
aint it amazing how i can tell a story and u aint gonna believe it?
but its ok Rb iz full of fakes that say it but dont wanna live ithttp://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...09#post4481509
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post4481493

Blah... I Really Wasnt Feeling This, Structure And Flow Was Below Par.
Played Subject To I Felt You Forced It And It Was Stretched....
Overall Poor Drop... (No Hate) :2thumb: Elevate 4/10.

nigga u dont kno how to give feedback!!
how was my verse stretched?!!
my flow was good nigga, damn u suck dick like ya pops
can i plz get sum real feedback

This was not hot
more like patch work
you difted so many time
I couldnt keep up with all the subject used.
suggest'n you start over from scratch
basic rhyme, basic vocab
do this for the next drop

Yea this was just ok. The concept was still on that ima gangsta and I aint afraid to pull the trigger shit but it was okay for whats it worth. I thouht the flow and rhyme scheme was on point I dont know why that dude said it was strecthed. But I feel if you apply some of your skills to more important concepts you could be better. Know what im saying like nobody wants to hear that gangsta I aint afraid to pull it rap, So if you could get some original concepts you could be one that I would like to read from again, no hate stay up...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293835

If you could hit this up in return that would be appreciated