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The Cave
Every single step taken seems my life has worsen.
Was I supposed to stand here, Am i a real person.
Flirting with death, basically digging my own grave.
Is the life god gave bad? what's the writing in the cave.
Mysterious symbols and such on the walls, engraved
Elderly absorbed and locked in the stone, enslaved..
Now is that the reason why I'm question god so much.
Just to feel a touch, giving me a hint what's really up.
Walking through this darkness area, no light at all.
I felt something sharp sticking right out of the wall.
I grasped it in my grip and thrusted backwards muscualarly.
It dissapeared in my posession and people started to dissagree.
Started dissing me, saying shit about me, it was irrirating.
Next thing you know they started debating, hating, and waiting.
I was still in the cave, the people were right out the exit.
I needed to split, but there was no other way out, shit.
I thought hard about something and something lit up brightly.
And the object that i pulled re-appeared in my hand.
Luck was with me, I'm assuming that god acctually likes me.
First thing i did was head toward to the light, then i ran.
The light was an opening, a door, another escape!!!
I ran through it and transported to my home, I was releaved
I could finnally breathe, I walked into my house and fell asleep.
Not having to worry about anything, but the object backround.
But then later that night, I was awoken by a loud sound!
To Be Continued...
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ugh. last up lf the day.......
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wow, i liked it.
its purty good structure and i liked. BUT!!!!
i think your purty stupid for the whole thing you did.
you and ---- are the same dam person, and well.
i think your gay
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This was a nice piece. You good structure, flow, and wordplay, and i liked the topic. Creativity was also there. You stayed on topic through every line. Overall thought it was well written.
If you Dont mind could you leave feed on the link in my sig.
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you can freestyle here?
im new
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This piece was interesting. The story-line was cool, but it lacked emotion and you need to work on your usage in words. Like maybe something more complex with a better rhymescheme. Another thing is that i can't find the moral to the piece or the message at all, it was just a piece to entertain and well in my opinion the best story-line pieces are the ones with a message behind it and i just couldn't find the message in your's. Anyways the ending was cool, u know like to be continue and all and i'll look forward in the second part, but yeah keep the flow up.
here's a link to my shit, check it out and tell me what u think:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...65#post4486265
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thanks for the feed. i'll hit up that link.
