Keep On Moving(Tired Of The Way Things Are)

The Begining
I was born with a name but soon lost it presigustly
My life has been short and most conseditly
infinte boundings, focused on my suroundings
i have a thought that keeps my mind pounding
theres no way around it, i cant over-come
spaced out, no feeling left, my mind is numb
the trickle of insanity is tinkering with my thoughts
i feel my mind bursting, i brush my hand against the knots
im heart is decaying so descritly its amazing
people just laugh as they find this entertaining
i have not a clue on how to end my life cycle
so i pick it up and read upon my bible

Half Way Through It
okay i see now things wont change, i still wont quit
i have a motivation, i continue to clutch my fifth
living like a acoholic, and fiend, to get it accomplished
keep on moving, i wont stop till your astonished
i get judged everyday and it seems like its a normal thing
im half way through it and i still havent completely lost my saine
the rap industry will soon be slain, i wont give up
i have the will power, its just as if ive lost my luck


Still writing will post the rest as soon as its finished

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Ehhhhh... It was kind of boring and basic to be honest with you. Not really any interesting rhyme schemes or multi's to comment about. The story its self has been done alot before. You need to be more creative & experiment with different schemes. Keep at it though.

upping

Cough* this was ok,,, lol i can see you're trying to put what you really feel into life inside your drop thats not always an easy thing to do, emotions can be worded better i use to have trouble with it but it was kinda boring

okay i completly changed the beginning

upping for feed

i completely changed the first part

meh boring,some lines didnt even rhyme,try using multiples maybe it will flow

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