-
Last Days
Chi Streets Grief
Tears In My Mother Eyes
Her Son's Steady Rolling Leafs
Chief Weed From Iraq
Drugs Support Terrorist Stop That
What About Racisim To Blacks
Convit's No Job 3 Kids To Support
Life's A Bitch Beehind Solitary Rooms Bricks
Probation And Shit
Even Worse Does Freedom Exist
Lift Spirit Fro Earth
Cause Only He Knows Truth To This
Not Told By Government
War On Tv Shows
And Ratings Loving It
Get To See Em Kill Or Own People Evil
The Devil's Hands Caress The Earths Catherdrial's
Transparent Our Own Parents Steal From Children
That's How It Is Ghetto Living........
-
-
Pretty nice piece here, what I like is the message most, it could use a bit of work but i can see your heading in a good direction...Overall if you go back an rewrite this this will be a piece with a good message...Keep at it...
If you get a chance hit me back on my piece...thanks peace...
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...03#post4441003
-
uppin 4 feed back on this piece don't sleep...It's short and sweet..
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/6047/19yw.gif
-
this was?!.....ok
this was an ok piece!.
nice politcal/marijuana/emotional drop!. nice uh...approach to the topic and shit.
vocab was lacking. multies was lacking creativity was lacking. diversity was lacking but nice though it flowed real well!.
RTF ont he link in my sig!
-
Good look kid .... I really didn't do to mush work on this piece it was more so a keystyle piece....but it's aiight not my best...
-
^^
word.
well just leave feed on mine now homes!.
thanks!
-
let's get some feed on this short piece.....
-
I think this piece is in the vien of Common work such as content and flow wise which definitely isn't a bad thing. Overall I think it could been a bit longer, which would have helped develope your ideas a bit more. Overall its a good start just would like to see more full fludged ideas ina longer piece, otherwise great start and looking forward to one of your written and not keystyles.
RTF if you have time to Mockery:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292214
-
i liked this..nice rhymes....topic was interesting..flowed well..
imagery was descent.and this peice was pretty short but..
still pretty good..overall this was a nice peice....
keep at it..you got potential..
-
-
this shit was short and to the point.....flowed well...imagery was there.....vocab was aiight....overall it was a good drop ..... keep at it man i see potential....
