Medicated Corpses

Medicated Corpses
By: Nash
.
Mix the pot with heroin..then burry the sin deep within
add some advil & tylenol and let my corpse get rotten
i'm caught in this homely state of mind, i look blind ..
.. meaning my skin and bones are still here,
while as reality is left behind.
i sign my warrented death, tormented breath
sign off what soul i have left.. to the one they call death
can't beat the meth, quiver and wilt. a quilt that needs ironed
my minds churned, it's my turn, i should quit before i get burned
.. it just yearns to learn more about my medicated disease
my body rots away from foot to knee, i'm not pleased
follow behind me, the emo freak. i represent the weak
how is it the fucked up people are the only ones who speak
this next pill looks sleek and slender, thanks to the lender
he gave me the dream drug so i'd no longer be the pretender
so i send'er down my throat, she slides down so quick ..
its so strong to cope, that i felt the effect on the first lick
then it clicks, i should call her. a woman so distorted unkind
hearing from me, should and would surley blow her mind ..
i'm soon defined. she hears my tone and remembers
her voice as calm as the weary winds of a sweet september
but woe it's december, the cold dark gloomy sweets of her
fall like snow upon me when she lifts the curse. stomach bursts
this pains gott'a be the worst, i miss her first. pause and break
my heart awakes and trips over a clumsy artery in the quake
of this womans voice that takes my brain down the drain ..
i'm named as this game switches up on me, it's so insane
it's plain to see, that what killed me, was the sweet love of a girl
the one i'd only wished could've been apart of my world
when i finally curled up enough strength,
i hurled my vomit right onto the phone.
now i'm all alone, living in sin, because i killed my own throne
i'm no longer grown, it's unknown what love can do to us, but
i'll tell you what. never be the medicated corpse that i was
because there's invisions behind the cuts and incisions
make a man's decisions, just look for what you're wishen
dream you're dishen out what you get, just let love grow
or you'll end up in the depths below, plunder low & slow ..
here we go, the minds of my crys ask us why? and we know
why's our lies following us everywhere we go ..
.. i speak though, a girl ..a pill ..and a fucked up head
stuck between all three, no wonder why they end up dead
the pencil led jots down the spots that hurt. bring pain
you can medicate my corpse, cuz i'll ALWAYS remember her name
.
i've died, phone dangles, it's tangled. i hear screams of assurance
i loved her, she loved me, i've been hurt since ..
.. it's just a medicated corpses strange occurance
.
well now i'm dead, and it's all been said ..
but here's what they lay at the top of my head
.
R.I.P.
John S. Death
1967-1985
A Medicated Love ..
.. but now a corpse

Links ..
The Conscience Struggle - ...Paramik...
Unfair Death - Wireless

lol at the beggining.
Shit sounded disgusting lol.
Wel since i've seen only one of yuor topicals I can say that it was good but I can se it's not really your best. I see where your going and that is pure originality there but I feel its lacks something. The imagery was good has some good parts. The emotion was good but I felt like it had fallen a little towards the end.
Make your ending stronger so they can give a good view of your writtens.
I liked how you started it though which good me hooked.
SO overall 7.2/10

Wow,

I liked this...You came extra hard with imagery. I noticed an improvement on your overall writing style. I think you put more of NASH into the pen and let it bleed. I see the thing you describe as a visual image..I like that, not too many writers can sucessfully capture the readers attention from beginning to end as did here. I also would like to commend you on your storyline. You form a nice and unique story that goes well because of all the emotion, imagery, and stuff you got. My only suggestion would be...
1-try to incorporate some more multis in ( if it is possible without sacrificing content)
I like a topical with coo multis.
I like what your doing Nash...keep it up man.
I want to collab with you, if you want to PM me or post it here or whatever..

~Grim.

ooooooooh, nashy

check my new OM in darkness shpere...
thanks

^will do when i get back. thanks for feed. pz

Dont hate if my feed is not that good.

I liked this piece it was dark and entertaing, morbid at times but good nonetheless....The imagery of it i thought was very good....dope emotion was put into it i thought....The best part was the beggining which got me interested in reading it but it stayed at the same level throughout..........still dope tho.

thanks. bump it up ..

up ..

Nice job here. Some basic rhyming structure keeping similar sounds together, some of them carried on a bit more than I would have liked for rhythmic purposes, but I think it was a very well told story. just another one of us guys fucked over by some girl and using her to get better at rapping. Good piece.

^thanks.

The story was great. Not just saying it cuz we best friends or because we in the same crew. But because it's true. I really liked the flow and structre was perfect. The wordplay was very mature and well put i must say. I though this would be a ok peice but turned out to be one of you're greatest. 10-10.

I'll nomini it for a HOF.

nice job

^thanks ..

I actually liked this, but then i have always believed you to be an asset to the OM community of RB, though a lil DARk, it was actually quite entertaining as in it kept me reading. I liked the words and style and strucuture, flow was aight but the main aspect of this whole piece is imagery, the descriptions metas and shit really bought the whole thing alive. Good work keep it Poppin'

Also, if you have the time, can ya check my OM, much preciated
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290086