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A River of Tears
as i sit here a river of tears i cry
unstoppable, as they overflow onto the bags under my eyes
i haven't slept sound not one night since....
and from now on with my heart i'm putting up a fence.....
i thought i was okay........i thought i could just throw away
everything in my heart in just one day
but i was wrong......not like it's new
because it seems i'm still being judged for things that i used to do
but i don't blame the world, i blame me
for trying to be something that i know i couldn't be
but that was my past and i've overpaid my dues
but damn everytime i turn around i seem to get accused
people change all the time whether for the better or for worse
but in love it seems like i've been plauged with an unliftable curse
but it's gotten to the point to where i don't even give a damn......
my own prayers are even too loud to my ears.....
because all my past mistakes in life have become a part of now and what was here
i know i said i was okay, but it still irks me in my mind
i tried to get over it , and i thought i was just fine....
but i was just trying to ignore what i feel because it's easier to just forget
but it backfired on me and i'm not over it yet.......
and i guess this is what love is truly like, and i've finally learned over the years
and i think about it as i sit here quietly......swimming in my river of tears......
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287748
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288881
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nice piece... i think its something everyone can relate to or at least will eventually. good emotion good structure nice flow.... only thing i thought i could use was a lil better word choice.
7/10
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real nice peice yo the story really got me hooked and could relate to it and the flow was aproaprite for ur story and flowed great the rhymes were basic but they still sounded nice and i saw some pretty good vocab in there keep writin 8/10
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I liked that man. It had a different feel to it. I've never seen an OM like that one. I'm feelin the way you ended it also. While I was reading it I was thinking" Well, what did he do?" It was a different outlook on thoughts. Gave me the insight to a person's mind. keep it up man.
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this was quite good, you had great emotion and your imagery was very good in this peice, I felt that this may have had a deeper meaning, maybe something that you went through or something, I dunno. This was a very enjoyable peice and I can see that you are elevating with every peice that you write. That's what I like to see, keep writing dude.
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now u got dwn on this one man. i rele felt the lyrics, u got me hooked from beginning to end. it flowed nice and encouraged me to read on. me fav couple lines were.... "people change all the time whether for the better or for worse
but in love it seems like i've been plauged with an unliftable curse"
it was a gd all rnd piece and ill b lookin 4ward to reading more of your stuff man
8/10
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Yo nice shit kid.....Pictured the Imagery big tyme.....nothing was strected....the flow was perfect....The only thing that I look 4 is structure but it really isnt a issue in ur case...It was more of an emotional OM from my point of view....I enjoyed nice drop....pussie....lol
9/10
