Digging To China:

Digging to China:

My body is sore from stress, not physical but mental
my whole life's a mess, pain predictable to the temple
every inch of me is dying, and my soul is slowly melting
fast memories rewinding, now a remember how I felt things

I used to love one day, now my heart walks astray
it's a lonely walk, just because its been betrayed
now its withering away, I feel the forces of these pains
my heart is broken from sadness, and sadness leaves stains
its sunny on the outside but inside of me it rains

but you are my brown light, and you might not know it now
the first glimpse of your sight, your eyes swept me like a plow
you must be what I've been looking for all along
I want to ask you now, but im afraid of the response
I can tell you've been hurt too, we have that connection
I might over love love you, my lust has no protection

I've dug my self a trench, a hole where I can hide from the hurt
but im afraid if I dig to much, ill reach the other side of the earth
and then be lost forever, in a world far different from this
in a place where they have dumplings, and forks don't exist

right now I feel im at the point of no return
gravity has brought me down, the center of the earth really burns
I might of reached hell, the furnace of flames
but hells just a metaphor, im really burning in shame

you can take me away from this, your love would be a bliss
please help me be a better person, how could I resist
I really need u girl, you'd be my goal in life, just to make it right
without you id lose the battle, and im ready to give up the fight...






http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=286053
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285549

Alright i liked the Title..in im like hmm i wonder what this could be about.
Honestly i was very suprised to see it as a love story...which confuzed me at first but then i tearnd to love the concept of it...however through the 1st 2 stanzas it was a little like an average love song, but you had a refreshing rhymescheme which u switchd up with the internal rhyming....so i figured like where is this diggin to china thing coming in then you hit these to stanzas ive quoted below...im like damn this is what ive been waiting for, i loved these to stanza just the wordplay n what they had to say n everything about them...cept 4 perhaps ur lack of outstanding vocab (which isnt that big of a deal)..thhoughout the piece. regardless those two stanzas just made this piece so much better...SO MUCH BETTER! it went from a typical love song to a love song with so much more to say..and whole new take on the topic...BRAVO! for making an overused topic ur own!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Emerge

Digging to China:
I've dug my self a trench, a hole where I can hide from the hurt
but im afraid if I dig to much, ill reach the other side of the earth
and then be lost forever, in a world far different from this
in a place where they have dumplings, and forks don't exist

right now I feel im at the point of no return
gravity has brought me down, the center of the earth really burns
I might of reached hell, the furnace of flames
but hells just a metaphor, im really burning in shame

---

^^Great!

keep ups

^great great job on this. i loved the concept. the title that you put with it. I liked the imagery i think you did a great job on showing what you were feeling, and what you were saying. the vocab was explicit. i liked your choice of wording, you did a great job with your concept. your rhyme scheme was very good. i loved your choice of rhymes..
overall really good job man.

Intense piece. i liked these lines below here .. they were deffinatly a good part of the whole thing. they explained some things and let people know some facts about what they were reading. Poetic and beautifully written. I loved basically the whole thing..


but you are my brown light, and you might not know it now
the first glimpse of your sight, your eyes swept me like a plow
you must be what I've been looking for all along
I want to ask you now, but im afraid of the response
I can tell you've been hurt too, we have that connection
I might over love love you, my lust has no protection

^Wow .."My lust has no protection" ..like saying, "I'll kill anyone who comes near" ..i love the metaphors. the meanings of the words were so pefect and well put. the piece in general was great. Keep up the good work, and i hope to see more.

hit the sig for King Of Death ..good read. peace