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Death Of Life
lights- diminishing fast and, as multiple ministers blacken,
they’re circling around me.. face is purple, heart is pounding.
heard in the surrounding- some sort of demon, cynically laughing.
a clinical lapsing’s occurred, in quite the whimsical fashion.
and w/ a sinister passion, spartans start to embellish the crowd, and,
they darken the cellar's surrounding's.. i’m grim w/ compassion.
feeling finished, i’m strapped in.. heart- i felt it was pounding.
shackles limit my actions, but, i see a large an' elegant bounding
of crucifixes strapped together by some sort of blackish leather.
a sharp object glimmers while grasping a beam of light, i’m sure that axe will sever.
the minutes aren’t passing.. these primitive masked men are past unmeasured.
feeling timid, the craftsmen strap gloves on.. they all grab their scepters.
entrapped in this dungeon.. i’m strapped to this alter.
my backs in a hunch, and.. i’m fastened to falter.
attached to my ankles.. these shackles are bunching.
i’m mad and i’m shameful.. but.. that’s where it alters.
i lay flat on this table, as my slanted position, becomes a vertical rising.
each man on a mission, chanting their wisdom, but i’m hurt and i’m crying.
cloaked demons screaming.. they’re animals driven by the forces of evil.
i’m panicking, wishing my visual source is deceitful.
they’re cannibalism’s satanic and gripping, and also morbid and lethal.
w/ my hands and my wrists in cuffs, they’re the type to torture some people.
seems that the scepter’s gonna be used as one of the sorcerer’s needles
w/ a creature approaching me in a motion holding a torch, i’m so feeble.
another approaches.. as i squirm, he’s holding me steady.
and another.. who injects the needle. shit, i’m feeling drowsy already.
see.. the venom injected’s got me intense an’ infested.
till suddenly.. i cease motion, and quite quickly my adrenaline’s resting.
i don’t remember a second of anything after till i jolted awake in a panic.
angered by confusion, in my rage and my manic state i was stranded.
are these surrounding men my enemies?
finally, color exists, and the darkness diminishes into the light’s intensity.
the blackness has faded, and those demons have vanished.
"what the fuck’s going on," i screamed as i panicked.
and my memory returns, as my nightmares diminish.
hallucinogens have gotten to me.. at the abortion clinic.
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nice creativity
liked it a lot
stay at it
peace
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I enjoyed this piece alot. Great imagery here. Good vocab and flow as well. I loved the topic, its something I would enjoy writing about. Keep up the good work.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264868
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Flowed nicely the real talk is the emotion very felt tha Rythme scheme was correct on Point with the Mutils and the Vocab came natuarally good overall verse- Nice topic to write about even tho its alot of topics about death and shit but very nice and real thoughted out Verse
~Uno!~
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I liked most of it.
About the first 26 lines.
Flow was aiight. Could have been better you know?
Structere was kinda out streched.
Lines were stretched longly.
wordplay was about a 7-10.
Keep it up.
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This was a pretty good drop, you got a good flow going and have good use of vocabs. coulda used more but it still was good, topic was decent, and you have good use of imagery. It was a good drop keep it up
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WOW.....this was really good it was very creative and u used very creative words...the imagery was really good and the more i read the more i kept worderin what the hell was goin on...i really liked the last line where u said what was goin on and where u were at......this was a really good topic just the only thing u should work on is your structure
g/j
