My Frankenstein

My Frankenstein.
Siege and Issue

Dr. Terrence McCormick (The Creator.)
"...It was the dead of night, silent, my heart was vibrant, beating verociously.
Stepped into the light trying to revive this ghost, potions, devoted hopelessly.
Cola bottles and caffiene, no sleep, knowing you were my dream, but to keep,
I leaned into your ear as if to speak and peered inside, it was bleak and dried,
Brainless, painless, seemingly weakening to remain alive, acres of free mind,
All mine... Blind, taken in the prime, but, senile prematurely, such gory files of glory,
A war hero, a news story. A fallen zero, boozed to the core, al bino, pure,
Free now, Kimo destroyed and cancer employed three-fold, forcing you to flee,
Cold, old and unique, bold, but, couldn't speak. A freak, a tank, a monster, bleak,
Blank, pondering defeat in the back of a honda, you stepped out, rose to you feet,
Gravity was stronger, you dropped to your knee's in front of me, you sneezed,
You'd freeze even before flee's. I could see my torrid neccessity with ease,
I helped you bleed and free'd your veins off your disease and drained you,
Tamed you, shamed you, de-brained, re-brained you, named you my Frankenstein,
Remained true to the facts of time and let evolution take you off this back of mine,
Stacked you at the back of my mind, forgot you... Only to return in months, one or two,
Shocked through to the bone by what had become of you, stunning, new, cunning,
My blood through and through with a look so vacant, no hatred, you never shook
Just faded, taught yourself to talk through my books in our basement, 'You're amazing!'
Asking if it was I who created, paid respect to me, so sacred, so excellently,
Your face was jaded, yet elated, as you embraced me with your cold hands,
No man has ever placed himself in my own, standing alone we carressed,
Like father and son we impressed, you left my side and ran to the table, calling me over,
I looked and saw blood pouring over my shoulder, as your look took a turn for the colder,
Throwing me, you showed me your strength and kept yourself at the depth of your madness,
Knowing it was me who left you in the sadness, your blankness became man-esque, empty,
And you delivered your final blow, dying, I panic'd as I just lay and watch you go, set free.
God help you all............"

Perce' P.T. Siege (The Monster.)
"Blade's sharpness parts a path from my ribs to where my heart is
Cutting cartilige, causing carnage within my own personal catharsis
I've seen depression, shit, I've lived it... I try not to be it's victim
Not to let those potent poisons set and inflict on my system
Because negative thoughts lead to negative vibes
And that's why negative people all live negative lives
But my best effort's rendered helpless, as I'm sucked into despair
My tender psyche is defenseless as it looms in sorrow's lair

You see im not a demonic demon, though it may seem it
The doctor created me, as a slave and a monster, but i dont dream it

I'm bombarded by the hardened shards of a shattered wish and dream
I start to pick myself apart, my inner fabric's stitch and seams
I can't control the inner loathing, the self disgust I barely muster
I can't quell this hell inside myself... This tragic spell I'm under
It's as if all that existed of my life's been mauled and twisted
The axis shifted to this insipid world of shit that I now live in
All my failures, all my struggles, all shortcomings, all my troubles
All are bubbling in my skull, leaving me completely befuddled
As to my outside surroundings, to the world as I once saw it
All the light has left the bright parts, I'm surrendering... I forfeit...
Undistilled
.
.
.
.
.
I KILL"

Issue - Verse 1
Siege - Verse 2

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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=3795458
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=263092



Bump! (Percept, no self-nom's ;))

up this shit

Issue-
Tamed you, shamed you, de-brained, re-brained you, named you my Frankenstein,
Remained true to the facts of time and let evolution take you off this back of mine,
Stacked you at the back of my mind, forgot you... Only to return in months, one or two,
Shocked through to the bone by what had become of you, stunning, new, cunning,
My blood through and through with a look so vacant, no hatred, you never shook
Just faded, taught yourself to talk through my books in our basement, 'You're amazing!'
^Wow that was dope...I loved all the imagry and...don't know how to explain it, The PRESSURE...put into these verses. Flow rolled right off your tounge and left you something to ponder/imagine inside your brain. I loved it...It came together so well.

Percept-
Your whole last para was dope.. I liked how you ended it off, with so much emotion and thought put into it...It was easy to read. It didn't contain Imagry as much as emotion but it still brough something there. It finished what Issue started. Deffinatly dope...

You guys did awsome. If givin' the chance I would really like the opportunity to collab with you guys or other members of the people. I'm willing to take time off my schedual to write at any time at all. Good read.

~Nash

^ I'm not part of the people :).


Thanks, man, Bump!

Next person to sleep on me loses the game, :mad:.

Yes, all of you lose.

:(.

fuckulars..... up

Fuck you, sleep.

yo this shit was crazy man...good imagery..
and the flow was perfect all th way threw...
this was a very good drop son..enjoyed this shit....

thanks??? anyway up

Hmmm.Nice piece.Not really worth of HOF,but it was cool.The flow was good and nice.It was nice and smooth.The multies you use never get boring to me.Those are always good to make the flow better and the rhymescheme and storyline better as well.The way you executed the story is somethingmi expected though.About two different perspectives with the creator and the monster it self.But it was a nice piece anyway.Only thing you could work on is not to over stretch your lines.


Please leave feedback on : Different Direction.

Good verses on everyones part. The imagery was good. I would have like a bit more multi play but still, it was good. Flow as fine as well as structure. Yall came very good with telling a story and of course the story itself is something to look at. I mean, thats a very weird topic to write yet you did it beautifully. Good job to yall.

if it flows, the lines do not fucking stretch, fucking read the words, dont just see them. :rolleyes:


Upp

another nice drop by you good job never seen any of the other guys verses before but very good both of you with the imagrey and story telling ability meshed it well at the end good read from both of you

peep mine por favor
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264509