A Lost Cause

Hold applause, this life has no clause,
we bold with jawz, but knives close it all,
straight cold and raw, the kid tossed all lawz,
society turned the back cause he's just a lost cause,

since concieved it's believed fate lines the path we lead,
but why would God destin someone to hell when they just a seed,
push to read cause he wish you wouldn't so just recieve,
information about these pearly gates that's misconcieved,
babies born without father figures they figure the trigger,
is a way to get to Jigga figures so come and get bigga,
put through rigurous bouts never surrender or render for clout,
they get dismembered and shout but bein' remembered is what it's about,
bodies clash bullets blast ashes to ashes dust to dust,
bodies in masses fields of caskets prisoners stare out the prison bus,
society see's us but not the travesties endured,
tears poured screamin to the lord give me pitty by the sword,
the resources needed to change in the ways we've pleaded,
are right where they're seated but at night they stared and agreed it,
these streets is a lost cause police retreat from cop calls,
it's up to us to rise and stop all these blood sprays hittin block walls.

This is just the first verse I'mma drop the next one lata...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...47#post3254347
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=237663

at times some parts seemed .....misworded ."bodies clash bullets blast ashes to ashes dust to dust,"...I get the whole concept ....but its not done great.....its aight I guess just not good....seems rather bland for the concept with no real imagery

fa sho...thanx for the feedback man it's appreciated...
Uppin...

nice spit, il gi u dat. nice structure and good message. keep spittin or die tryin
oh and check my stuff out from my links.peace

Its the lost cause on the corner seellin rocks and all
little kids striving hard to make it in basketball,
but i guess we fall and we rise again
i just try so hard with this rhyme and pen,
racism is still apart of the matter
black leaders makin it and pockets gettin fatter,
whites hate blacks and blacks hate whites
lets just forget the drama and re-unite,
police aint about shit, they say serve and protect
but they doing anything to get that fat ass check,
some care some dont
some appreicate some wont,
in these rhymes we give with every line
i stay on mine until its time,
hard work and hustle
no matter the struggle we still fight to bust through,
niggas think they hard but they soft as tissue
want to be gangstas but they scared of pistols,
so please pause and applaued this cause
cuz what we giving you is americas flaws,
punch and pull and scratch with claws
i aint no beast in the sea but im close to "jaws"



Its a little something playboy, need some work to it but im new to this..

police and about shit,

[B]tthats suuppose to be

Police aint about shit,